I am 15 years old. This is a long story, but I'll give you the condensed version. Last week, I was in my mom's room saying goodnight to her. My dad came in. I don't remember what happened exactly, but he said something to me and I ignored him (I don't speak to him because of previous incidents like this). He got angry, and I said something back. Then he yelled at me to get out of the room. I said it was my moms room too, and I would stay there if I wanted to. Then he got up and tried to literally push me out of the room. I resisted, because I am NOT the kind of person who lets others push me around. This is the second time he's tried to push me. I haven't spoken to him since. I hate him so much, I can't really express it in words. I know that sounds dramatic, but it's totally true. My mom doesn't defend me when he gets out of control, so I feel like I can't trust her either! What do I do?
2007-03-29 10:58:38 · 17 answers · asked by Dr Fernando 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry. I don't mean to sound like a "spoiled brat". I guess I didn't explain myself correctly.
But why should I respect someone who thinks it's acceptable to shove me around?
2007-03-29 11:22:47 · update #1
You're both in the wrong.
You need to talk to him about what's making you upset. What did he say to you and why did you ignore him? What did you say in return to him?
He needs to not push you in that way.
I suggest both of you sit down and talk. Both of you need to grow up
2007-03-29 17:10:13 · answer #1 · answered by Katharine D 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe your mom has come to realize that you cannot control other people and so she just accepts that and stays out of it and doesn't make the situation worse then it already is.
You contradict yourself by saying you don't talk to father but then talk back to him when he raises his voice to you. Whether or not you agree with him, it is his room and the best thing you can do is leave as staying there and fighting doesn't make things better for you, your mom or for him.
If he is physically abusing your mother then call the police, he will be arrested and taken out of the home for 24-48 hours minimum. Otherwise, stay out of the verbal power play with your father and don't try to drag your mother into the power play. Someone has to be the bigger person and I hope that someone will be you as, again, you cannot control someone else but you can control yourself.
Think about it.
2007-03-29 18:09:22 · answer #2 · answered by Stefka 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are more out of control than your father. You show him no respect and he doesn't know how to deal with it. Your mother should stick up for your father and join together in punishing you until you learn respect and manners. What is wrong with you. Your father gets the sympathy here and you and your mother the blame.
You are rude and belligerent and lucky he hasn't done more than try to put you out of his bedroom. He needs to send you to a military school where you can learn how to respect your parents and other authority figures. You are a spoiled brat.
2007-03-29 18:05:39 · answer #3 · answered by joker_32605 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I really hate to tell you this, but you were in the wrong in the situation you described. If you're not speaking to your father, you need to work that out, not ignore him when he talks to you. If you DO ignore him, he is within his rights to get angry at you REGARDLESS of your reasons for ignoring him.
As for the room, if it's the room he shares with your mother, it's THEIR room and EITHER of them can ask you to leave. NEITHER of them needs the other's consent if they want you out of the room. They are married to each other. It is not surprising therefore that they support each other's decisions. That's what married people are supposed to do. Your mother apparently knows that even if you don't.
Basically, you and your dad have issues you need to work out. They will NOT be worked out if you act like a 10-year-old and force him to act like one too. They will ONLY be worked out if you sit down with him like the adult you want to be treated as, and have a discussion about how you both feel.
Good luck!
2007-03-29 18:06:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are 15...it's natural to have problems with your parents. In 10 years you'll look back and think it was all so silly. I know I look back on fights with my father and think that. I don't condone him shoving you....but I used to get ripe smacks on my behind from my dad (not was I was 15 but when I was younger)....when we both learned to calm down that sort of thing stopped.
2007-03-29 18:03:38 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Mommy to 3 year old Jacob and baby on the way♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, I so feel for you. I would first suggest speaking to your mother and asking why she doesn't stand up for you. And depending on your age, consider other living arrangements. And of course it's difficult to give proper advice without the facts, but basically, start with mom and work your way out from there. Someone will be able to help, hopefully someone from within your family who might understand the situation. Good luck.
2007-03-29 18:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by pisceanwillow 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Show him some respect and he'll do the same for you. My Mom (single mother raising two boys) would have knocked me flat out with a right hook if I direspected her like that. That's why I don't.
2007-03-29 18:07:34 · answer #7 · answered by SKITCHRICK 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You're 15, you have to live by their rules. So, if he asked you to leave the room. LEAVE the ROOM. You are not showing how "strong" you are by resisting. You are showing that you are stubborn, disrespectful and don't feel like you have to follow his rules. Which is enough to piss any person/parent off.
Honestly, you are being lame. Grow up.
You don't have to respect him....but you have to SHOW respect. It is his room and if he doesn't want you in it, It is not your right to refuse to leave.
2007-03-29 18:09:33 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
This happened to me when I asked my Dad to stop making racist comments about my friends. I'm not a majorly p.c. person, but I hate to hear about it. Anyway, he pushed me hard to get me out, and when I starred at him, he told me that if I didn't like it, I could "Go to Hell," over and over (I find this funny know because he is Atheist and wouldn't believe in Hell!) He wasn't on his medication for being bi-polar, but that is no excuse. I have been mentally hurt many times by incidents like this and I am only 15 also. It's hard to know what to do. Neither of them will talk about it either. Maybe your family has a disorder history like mine. Your mother sounds scarred, like if she intervines, he will take it out on her. In a situtation like this, it is best to stay calm, and walk out. Try not to talk back, or say anything. Just get out so it doesn't amount to anything more. Good Luck to you.
2007-03-29 18:09:44 · answer #9 · answered by ARMY Babe 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
What planet are you from. You are a spoiled, disrespectful, unappreciative, rude and totally immature child. What do you think a grown man should do when his snot nosed kid shows him no respect? You are lucky to be alive. Grow up. Your mother needs to take you to counseling. She and you both need help urgently.
2007-03-30 00:52:00 · answer #10 · answered by lcmcpa 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋