Hello, this is my situation, I am still confused on how i can explain this, here it goes. I received an invitation in the mail to attend a wedding of a guy ive known in college. My roommate and alot of my friends are going to be in the wedding. I am struggling with my decision. Should I go or not go. If I decided to not go I dont know what I would say. " Oh, sorry I didnt feel like it" I think my excuse would have to be a bit better than that. I really am not excited about it at all considering that I will know very few people, have to drive long distances, feel isolated, etc...On the other hand I feel as though I would betray him by not attending. No reason would suffice because it is his wedding. I still havent sent in the rsvp, but I assume I better send it in with something checked off.
2007-03-29 09:28:09 · 19 answers · asked by Financial Guru 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I live with one of his best friends. I hangout with the people he lives with. We go to the same school and havent graduated yet. Like everyone I know will ask me why im not going. My reason for not going needs to be pretty solid.
2007-03-29 09:37:12 · update #1
I would say dont go if you are questioning your going in the first place. If you do go you wont have very much fun, so politely decline and send a nice card and gift. That should suffice. As long as you check no you wont be attending they wont count you in the totals. but the longer you dawdle and hold on to the invite the more they may be expecting you.
good luck!
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/yourweddingonabudget/join
2007-03-29 09:32:04 · answer #1 · answered by glorymomof3 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It doesn't really sound like you're that close to the guuy, did it ever occur to you that he only invited you because he didn't want you to get your feelings hurt if he invited other college buddies he was closer to? I wouldn't worry about going. And don't stress over the RSVP either. When people have big weddings, they don't expect EVERYONE to attend. In fact, most couples I know are sort of relieved when some people decline the invite, because weddings are quite expensive, as you know. Just send back the declining RSVP with a short, simple explanation that you can't take the time off work to drive out of town for the wedding, but that you wish them the very best. Don't forget to send a nice gift from their registry. They will appreciate the gesture.
2007-03-29 09:38:37 · answer #2 · answered by fizzygurrl1980 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just mail in the RSVP with your regrets. No explanation is really needed. Unless you are a really close friend, then you may need to think of something. Based on your description of a guy you knew in college, it doesn't seem like you are great friends though. Believe me, there will be more on their minds than whether or not you are going to be there. They may wonder for a minute, but ultimately the wedding is going to be more relevant that day. If you really don't want to go, then don't go.
On the other hand, it may be an opportunity to meet new friends and catch up with old ones if you decide to go, but the choice is yours.
2007-03-29 09:35:24 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like the two of you are that close so he probably won't even notice that you're not there. I think its important to remember what is going to be on his mind that day and outside of his wife...its probably only going to be family and close friends. You don't have to make up an excuse or a lie. Just say you can't make it.
Honestly, in the end its your loss and not his b/c you could actually have fun at the wedding.
2007-03-29 10:27:51 · answer #4 · answered by kapy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could go either way. If you truly feel like you are betraying him by not going, then you should probably go. But if you think he can understand that you couldn't make due to the reasons you gave, he should be fine with that. No one wants to make a long distance trip for a wedding anyway. Call him and be up front. Say something like "you know it is a long way for me and I have been super busy lately, I try to come but not guarantees" So if you don't show up, at least you warned him.
2007-03-29 09:32:37 · answer #5 · answered by WOOOOO Whooo 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Send the RSVP ASAP along with a nice card , wrtite:
Dear Tom and Katie,
Thank you for being so thoughful of inviting me to your wedding. Unfortunatetly, I have a previously scheduled engagement on that date and I must regretfully decline the invitation. I wish you the very best in your new life together as a married couple. Congratulations!
Sincerely
Jack
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If you feel guilty, send some cash, gift certificate or small gift, but it's not really necesary since you will not be attending.
Problem solved.
2007-03-29 09:38:06 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Send a nice 'No thank you - I can't make it but wish you the greatest and best' and of course with a great wedding gift. You really don't have to explain, and should be no problem. Lying is worse than just not going after rsvp-ing.
2007-03-29 09:34:45 · answer #7 · answered by Tabatha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a difficult situation to be in, and I feel your pain =); but this is something that would really require your attendance. It's someone else's big day and obviously it's going to mean a lot to them for you to be there =) If you have friends that are going; stick with them if you can, besides, you might be suprised if other singles might be there! You're kind of killing two birds with one stone, actually more than that, you're showing up to a special event for a friend (you'd want that for yourself too)you'll have friends to go with, and other ways to socialize during the reception. Just think of how maybe you'd feel if some of your friends didn't show up for your wedding, you know?
2007-03-29 09:34:29 · answer #8 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
no one knows every one at a wedding not even the bride and groom. im not sure y u would be isolated at the wedding when u said you hang out with alot of his friends. who are going to be at he wedding! and if you live with his best friend y cant u two drive there together?
2007-03-29 11:43:47 · answer #9 · answered by angelface8074 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know to be very honest i just got home from a wedding a cousin of my husbands we had to drive 7 hours one way just to get there we got there and there were so many people there i dont really think she noticed us. If you dont want to go then dont you dont have to explain to him why. There are going to be so many people at the wedding he's probably not going to notice that you didnt come. one of my husbands other cousins is getting married in april and its 7 hours away i dont think were going to go to that one either she wont miss us. if they ask say that the day before the wedding you got a stomach flu and couldnt be in the car that long. (whats a little white lie going to hurt)
2007-03-29 09:39:49 · answer #10 · answered by tcameron_2004 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋