Some co-workers and I were invited to another co-workers sons wedding. We don't know the son and we haven’t worked with the dad very long. We were wondering what is the proper etiquette in turning down an invitation, or is it really rude not to go? We were thinking about getting a gift from all of us, and declining the invitation. Advise please?
2007-03-29 09:26:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
There is NOTHING wrong with declining an invitation to a wedding where you do not know the bride and groom.
Simply put "must send our regrets" or "will be unable to attend" on the response card and leave it at that, no explaination needed.
As for a gift, you are not REQUIRED to give one at all (especially since you dont even know these people) but good manners would determine you should.... your solution of all going in together on one gift is a SPLENDID compromise between the two extremes.
If you need any further advice feel free to email me.
2007-03-29 09:38:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are not familiar with the bride or groom you can politely decline. You will not be expected to send a gift because you are not close with the couple. The days of the wedding being an affair for the couple's parents is over and most couples today are hosting their own weddings. They typically would not invite their parents friends unless they knew them well.
2007-03-29 12:28:34 · answer #2 · answered by weddingqueen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Consider the possibility that the Dad was inviting you all to be polite, and would prefer that you all decline! Don't give any excuses at all, just return the RSVP cards declining. If asked, "previous engagement/ commitment" will do, that is the universally accepted line.
A group gift would be very nice, it doesn't have to be wildly expensive. A gift card, that way everyone can chip in just what they want and no one's amount can be identified. Only if you choose to; it is not a requirement.
2007-03-29 09:48:54 · answer #3 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That's a very good idea. I'm not sure of the etiquette of him asking you all - it's sort of like just asking for gifts. But maybe he just doesn't want to leave anyone out. You definitely do not have to go. If the invitation says RSVP, let him know you already had plans for that day.
2007-03-29 09:32:07 · answer #4 · answered by gouldgirl2002 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't go as a group or buy a group gift. I would tell the co-worker I was unable to attend and ask for the son's address so I could send him a wedding gift (if you wanted to send a gift). I wouldn't give the gift to the father, I would send it directly to the son.
2007-03-29 09:39:07 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You could say you have another wedding to go to on the same day. Chances are he didn't really wanna invite everyone but he felt he had to. I'm sure he'll be ok with it. Honestly why would u wanna see your co-workers on your sons big day. I'd get him the joint gift tho...thats a nice thought
2007-03-29 10:03:41 · answer #6 · answered by Nummy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
That would be a nice idea; if you really aren't familiar with everyone involved in the wedding, it would be polite to say "No Thank You" and send a gift, that way, you acknowledged them without hurting feelings. The gift can be a nice touch.
2007-03-29 09:37:18 · answer #7 · answered by suzlaa1971 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is nice that you are getting them a gift - not necessary but nice. Your co-worker was being nice by inviting you but you are not under any obligation to go or give a gift. A card would be sufficient.
2007-03-29 09:36:53 · answer #8 · answered by notbaroque 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh that's not rude to decline. They were probably just be curtious themselves by inviting you. Like you said I think you all should pitch in for a gift and say unfortunately you have a prior obligation.
2007-03-29 10:42:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not baill out as a GROUP! He will feel insulted and offended that you all decided not to go and talked about not going. He was a good sport by inviting the people in the office so you wouldn't feel left out.
If you all decide not to go, then don't, but send gifts seperately.
No "guilty-group" gifts please.
Good luck
2007-03-29 09:31:55 · answer #10 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋