What to put on the invitation? (Only serious answers)?

Question

I'm trying to figure out what to put as the dress code for the invitations. (I need to have a dress code because the ceremony is in a cathedral and the cathedral won't let people who are inappropriately dressed into the ceremony). - I'm dead set on having it at this particular location since I grew up going to this church.
Here are my wedding details (if its helps in picking a dress code):
- Large, very ornate cathdral
- NYC in mid/late February
- Ceremony starts at 4 pm (that is the latest they let me have it)
- Plaza Hotel for reception (yay! it's almost done with renovations)
-Seated dinner for 300 guests
-Bridesmaids are in floor length black strapless satin gowns with opera gloves (which has been o.k.-ed by the preist for the church)

What should I put on the invite if anything? Black Tie? (White tie is too excessive, I think) Black tie optional? invited? Semni-Formal?

*Only serious answers, I have decided on this type of wedding and I'm only asking for dress code wording* Thanks

Answer 1

At the bottom of the invite, in one of the corners, in a small font, you can simply put

Black Tie
or
Black Tie Optional
or
Cocktail Attire

Then, get yourself a wedding website and clarify there. Use word of mouth to ensure that no one thinks that Black Tie Option means jeans and a polo shirt.

Also, your invite needs to be VERY formal if you plan on asking people to dress formally. 4pm is a little early to start a formal wedding, so they will have to take their cues from the invite that you are serious.

Good luck and congrats! : )

Answer 2

I would put Black Tie on the reception card. A dress code does not belong on the ceremony invitation, unless the reception and ceremony are listed on the same card. If your bridesmaids are wearing gloves, which would indicate something closer to very formal black tie, almost white tie, then black tie is you rbest bet. it will get the point across for guests that they need to leave the flip flops at home and get gussied up. White Tie is a bit excessive, and they your guests will look they they should be in the wedding party.
Just make sure you don't put "invited" or "optional", those words don't belong on an invitation. And if any guests have THAT serious of a problem with it, trust me, you'll get the phone calls about it and know excatly who you should be worrying about coming with a hawaiian shirt and socks with sandals!

Answer 3

Since you are starting at 4 pm, the appropriate wording would be semi-formal. If you were starting after 5, it would be formal.

Semi-formal lets people know that they can't wear jeans or shorts but have the option of wearing a suit if they don't own a tux.

As far as the cathedral barring entrance to your guests, they should only be barring those people that have shorts, slippers (flip-flops), tank tops, etc. so your guests should be okay with pretty much anything they've got on regardless of what you print on your invite.

Congratulations!

Answer 4

There is no such thing as semi-formal. There is white tie formal, black tie formal, informal (but you don't use that word ont he invitation), and casual (but again, that word does not appear).

If your gown has a train and your groom is wearing a tuxedo, that is a formal wedding, which means you can use Black tie or Black tie suggested. You should not use the word "formal" on the invitations. The words to use are Black tie. Also, women do not wear gloves except at a FORMAL occasion.

Also, for a formal wedding your invitations should be white or ecru, engraved in black or dark gray, with little to no ornamentation. That conveys formality. Colors and flowers and designs mean informal.

For more help, consult a Miss Manners book.

This site might also help you:
http://www.crane.com/Etiquette.aspx?C=WeddingEtiquette

EDIT: I love how people give thumbs-down to a well-researched, CORRECT ANSWER. Have these people spent 4 years researching etiquette? I'll bet not. Have I? Yes, actually I have!

Answer 5

I would put "Black Tie Optional" (that's what I'm doing for mine as well. That way people will know that it is quite a formal event, but those who don't own a tux or want to rent one, will know they can wear a suit and tie as well. I don't think you need to worry about the women as much, most of us tend to over-dress anyway! Usually tuxes aren't worn until after 5, but since I assume you reception won't begin till 5 or 6 anyway, it is perfectly fine. I would steer away from the term "semi-formal" since that leaves a lot of room for interpretation. I worded my parents 25th anniversary in that way, and had more than a few show up in short sleeves and shorts. Whatever way you word it, you are bound to have a few show up inappropriately dressed.

Answer 6

I would say Formal Dress/Black Tie Optional. If you put Semi-formal, something that they may wear out to a club on a Saturday night, might be worn, and it doesn't seem like that is the kind of attire you want.

Good luck.

Answer 7

If they have a dress code at the cathedral, then just put Black tie.

Answer 8

I would say after 5 or black tie formal since after 5 attire is usually formal meaning tux and cocktail dress or gown.

Answer 9

Just put "Formal/Dress Attire Only." This is your day, and whatever you request, should be acknowledge. If people have trouble understanding what that means, I am sure they can get ahold of you or the church that the wedding is held and they can explain to them. Good luck!

Answer 10

My personal recommendation is "Black Tie Optional." Most people will get the message, but be prepared for one or two who do not. Ask the printer/stationer I am sure he can help.