My hubby met me after i gave birth to my son but adopted him sort of when he put his name on the b-certificate which was blank before that.Now he says he wants to take his name off the b-certificate?Currently he has served me divorce papers and is threatening to tell my ex.bf who is married now that he has a son( i never told him about) and another child on the way by me(we had a fling by chance meeting while i was seperated from my hubby ) .Can he really bring my ex.bf into the court room or try and contact him? I am scared of what my ex.bf's reaction will be if he finds out?My son thinks my hubby is his dad.
2007-03-29 08:08:59 · 17 answers · asked by Megan C 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I never told my ex. bf that he got me pregnant is now the father of my 5.5 yr old son because i wanted to avoid problems.He was really immature at the time, not most moral person and dating someone else.I was 19 yrs old and he was 18 yrs old so i also wanted avoid the drama of it all.
2007-03-29 08:13:10 · update #1
Afraid this will look really bad in court
2007-03-29 08:13:58 · update #2
You have 2 children with this guy and he knows about neither of them!?? I think you need to come clean. That might sound strange to you but your kids deserve to know the real father at some point (maybe not just yet as it might cause confusion for your son at this present time) You need to let the real father know, it's his right. Unless he's done something really bad, he deserves knowledge and a chance to play a part in his childrens lives. If he decides not to play a part then at least you have made the effort to establish a relationship between father and children. The children will also deserve to know who their real dad is when they are older. Coming clean would be best all round, and you'll get to do it before you hubby beats you to it and makes you look really bad. Your ex's reaction will no doubt be shocked and maybe angry that he's had this hidden from him. But at least everyone can know the truth and move on from there instead of living a lie.
Good luck! x
2007-03-29 08:11:55 · answer #1 · answered by jellybean55 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How can you not tell someone they have a child? I don't care what the situation is that is just wrong! I know someone that got served child support papers in the mail one day and he was like huh? Come to find out he had a son that he never knew about and got a DNA test and sure enough it was his. The child was 5 years old. He is now 14 and has been in his life ever since he found out. Sorry but I couldn't imagine how that would feel on the other party and especially the child! Even if the child grows up with a father figure, everybody has the right to know. You can't just choose whether or not you want to tell someone or choose whether or not they can be a father or not..........You wanted to avoid drama? You can clearly see where that got you.......
2007-03-29 16:47:28 · answer #2 · answered by KDB 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What u did was WRONG!!!! the father of your son had a right to know that u were pregnant and then to put another mans name on the birth certificate....that is immoral and immature!!!!! I have 2 kids from a previous relationship and we broke up before our second son was born, but i still put his name on the birth certificate because it was the right thing to do. U should be ashamed of yourself and yes that wont look good in front of a judge. If u are afraid that your husband will tell the ex, then beat him to the punch and tell him yourself, he would be more upset if he heard it from another guy. The best thing u can do is be honest and step up to the mistake that u have made. grow up and act like an adult!!!!!
2007-04-01 18:58:52 · answer #3 · answered by spacelee666 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, he could try to contact the ex if he really wanted to. i would wait and see what he does and just go from there. he hurt and there is a good chance that it's only a threat and he won't really do it. if your hubby signed the birth certificate and you have an official copy with his name on it, he is legally responsible for the child. even if the bio-dad doesn't find out, you need to tell him. he needs to know that he has two children. that isn't fair to keep that kind of information from him.
2007-03-29 15:15:01 · answer #4 · answered by redpeach_mi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it's time for you to grow up and tell the truth. In case you didn't know, the truth always comes out no matter how hard you try to hide anything. I think you should go to your ex boyfriend and tell him yourself. Wouldn't that be nicer that way than to wait for the bombshell to fall on him. Besides if the jerk you are divorcing his heartless enough to mess with that little boy's life, then get rid of him and tell the truth. It's better for your son to know the truth now, then wait until he's an adult and totally bust his life wide open.
Lies always get you, but the truth will set you free.
Good Luck.
2007-03-29 15:15:18 · answer #5 · answered by johanne 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
oh no. this is a horrible situation. sorry honey. ok, since your husband put his name on the birth certificate he is technically the father. honestly i think that you should come clean with your ex. i know this has to be really hard on you but the truth is always best, no matter how bad it is. i'm sure he will freak out, but he needs to know. i wouldn't leave it up to the court or your husband to tell him. your children do deserve to know who their biological father is, even if that isn't who they consider their "daddy". good luck girl. and don't stress out too bad. take a deep breath and figure out how you are going to tell the ex, that's the most important.
2007-03-29 15:24:25 · answer #6 · answered by littledebi82 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are in the situation you are in and I hate to say this but I think you should come clean with your ex. Both he and your son and future child have a right to know.
Most times, it is the fear that makes things way worse than they would be normally.
On another note, your current husband seems to be a bit of jerk to want to take his name off of his son's birthcertificate - biological or not, he has been your son's father and he will only hurt your son and himself in this endeavour.
2007-03-29 15:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by Hendrixj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have hidden a child from him for years! That is his child and he has the right to know! Since you have once again gotten pregnant by this guy, there must be something you like about him. Maybe you should be the one to let him know about his children before the court does!
2007-03-29 15:15:11 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer A 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He can petiton the court to have his name removed from the certificate and he will have to give a reason why. He will probably have to have a DNA test and yes, if he is asked directly he will have to say who he believes the father is. And the real father can petition to have his name put on the certificate and get visitation.
2007-03-29 15:14:00 · answer #9 · answered by jilldaniel_wv 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
you need to step up and tell the man that he is the father, he should have always known regardless if he was mature enough or not, how selfish on your part. no man's name should be on the certificate unless he truly is that kids father, think of your kids they have the right to know as well as the real man. if i was your husband i would tell if you didn't.
2007-03-29 17:21:33 · answer #10 · answered by emery_sage 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋