My future mother-in-law called me and asked me about my wedding gifts. Her friend (who we invited to the wedding) wanted to know if we wanted something off our wedding registry or if we wanted something a little bit 'different' as a gift. When I asked my MIL what her friend meant by 'different' she said 'oh, like a nice peice of pottery or something....'
My response was "Tell her I appreciate the thought and that she doesn't have to get us anything but if she wants to, I'm really picky about what I put in the house..." My MIL said 'oh, okay.' but I got the impression that I might have offended her.
Did I step over the line instead of accepting the 'something different' graciously?
2007-03-29 08:03:31 · 8 answers · asked by Kitten 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I felt I was very gracious by saying that gifts are not necessary but if someone chose to give us a gift it would be appreciated.
There are several things on our registry that are under 20 dollars so I don't think price is an issue.
I felt that my MIL asked me a question and I gave her an honest answer.
2007-03-29 08:34:55 · update #1
I really don't think that you stepped over the line. It takes a lot of time to register, and I'm sure that you took all price ranges into account when doing so. When I am buying a gift for someone, I want to know that it will be used and appreciated. Even if I don't like it myself, that's not the point, it's a gift! When starting a life together there are so many "must haves" like towels and blenders, that it seems odd that someone would want to buy you anything other than what you registered for, since you obviously need those items. But then again, I am sure that she was well-intentioned. Perhaps she owns a similar piece that she cannot live without, and just wanted to share that joy with you, as well.
Should you receive said piece of pottery, make sure you put on a very, very good act about how much you like it and will use it. And if possible, really do like it and use it, or at least set it out where she can see it. There's nothing worse than starting off on the wrong foot with your mother-in-law...
2007-03-29 10:34:01 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you did step over the line. "I'm really picky" indicates that you feel that you have better taste than the mother-in-law's friend.
The donor has the right to choose the gift, not the donee. If the donor is having a hard time choosing, he or she can go to the gift registry. But a donor should not feel that he or she is Required to give something from the gift registry.
For future requests, I think you shuld have an answer ready. Examples: one thing that is not on the registry that we would love would be a bottle of champagne, with or without two glasses of the donor's choosing; a picture frame; or some other item which the person can buy inexpensively and using his or her own taste. Good luck.
2007-03-29 08:24:27 · answer #2 · answered by Tricia R 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You were doing well with your response until you got to "I'm really picky about what I put in the house...". Perhaps at that point you could just have said that something off your wedding registry would be much appreciated.
If your MIL's friend does give you a gift, make sure you remember to send her a gushing, personally-written thank you letter.
One good thing about your response - it may mean you MIL won't give you atrocious, unwanted gifts which you have to put on display when she visits!
2007-03-29 08:15:26 · answer #3 · answered by Alex 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
custom dictates that the marriage is hosted and paid for by utilising the bride's family contributors. mothers of the groom are frequently palms off on the marriage while you evaluate that's obvious that the marriage is the bride's tutor. even although the mummy of the groom isn't in charge for any wedding ceremony making plans or fees, aside from the practice consultation dinner and family contributors commute, she could be prepared that can assist you get some issues executed. yet you need to ask; she's no longer a innovations reader! p.c.. some initiatives that have not been executed and ask her if she will help. yet, don't be shocked if she says no! that's a sprint late contained in the sport.
2016-10-01 21:50:32 · answer #4 · answered by doolin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people cannot afford items off a registry and they are trying to get something more affordable and/or practical that is not listed.
We are talking about your MIL's best friend!!!! You don't want them both offended by this. You implied that you have better taste that them.
Call her back, quick, and tell her that her presence is an honor to you and that whatever she chooses to give it will be just fine because you know that it comes from the heart.
BE GRACIOUS young lady!!!
Even if she gives you the world's ugliest vase, you should keep your opinions about her taste and yours to yourself.
Good luck
2007-03-29 08:21:34 · answer #5 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why didn't you just say we really could use stuff off the registry, then? When someone gives you an out, take it!
2007-03-29 08:14:13 · answer #6 · answered by melouofs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you were totally rude and offended her - on purpose?
You have to learn to handle things MUCH more diplomatically and tactfully. You should have just been gracious.
2007-03-29 10:54:10 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you did well.
It beats having a piece of pottery you might not like sitting around your home.
(Then again you could always regift it to someone else)
2007-03-29 08:09:39 · answer #8 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋