What do you think I should tell my mother in law?

Question

When I found out I was preganant my mother-in law was so excited and it made me and my hunny happy that his parents were. Well my baby is 6 months old now and his mother will hardly even touch her. She's always faking arm injuries and tells me she cant hold her because her neck or her leg or her shoulder hurts. My baby loves her half to death....his parents wont even come visit us at our house.....and its only 3 miles away!!!!My mom says I should not take her over there anymore if they arent going to treat her with love..but i dont want to hurt my husbands feelings anymore than they already are.......oh yea my husbands sister is pregnant now and his mom quit her job 6 months in adnvance to take care of the baby after it is born while his sis works days......We havent done anything wrong....What do you think???

Answer 1

OMG i thought I was the only one in the world that had issues like this LOL. Honestly u and ur husband need to talk about this one BIG time together and come to an agreement together on what to do. My inlaws havent even had my kids over to their house in a whole year! When they do see my kids like at church or something, its like that is their fix until the next time they see them. they ask my son who will be 5 son when is he going to come stay with papa and nana like its HIS responsibility to do all that. Yet they never follow through and EVER even call to ask him to come stay even for a minute. Its like out of sight out of mind, yet my kids think of them when nana and papa arnt around and it breaks my heart. I am currently 8mos preg and I NEVER hear anything from my inlaws and i have even asked my MIL to let me know if she would like to attend a DR. apt with me and be involved. I have tried but they never answer back for me or the kids. When i was preg with my daughter who is 19 mos now, my MIL was all over me cause i was having her GIRL. She hasnt cared about my daughter or any of us since my daughter was like 9mos old. Dont ask me what the deal is, I have no clue. all I know is that we love them dearly but they want nothing to do with us by their actions but act like the best grandparents in the world when it comes to talking to others. LIKE they even KNOW my kids any more. Its crazy and i am as clueless as u are to why people act this way, especially our INLAWS, our babies GRANDPARENTS. Ive backed off and have come the the conclusion that I am my kids mommy and I will give them the love i know i have for them and they deserve. If my babies own grandparents dont give a crap... big deal, so what. There are other people in the world that love ur and my kids and our kids will be just fine. good luck with u and God Bless. Just talk to ur hubby and dont do nothings to cause more pain in the situation, just back off. if they dont care u have backed off then they didnt care in the first place.

Answer 2

Don't go over anymore.. Better she have honest feelings of affection and respect to all of you , than the negative ones displayed, and children at a young age can sense as time goes on. My mom was that way with my children and the dotting grandmother with my brothers.
This is her problem, not yours..
you seem caring and loving.. YOUR family is first, not her..
it is sad when any parent , or grandparent acts this way..
chalk it up as a learning lesson in life.
talk to your husband honestly about your hurt, if he doesn't understand, talk till do..
he needs to support you first in this..
you are the family now to consider first.. remember cleave to each other.. and none other... that means not letting his parents be first concern.
My ex mother in law wasn't a jewel either. they thought money was the answer to everything and bought them rights to be
critical and demanding.
I made the boundaries clear, perhaps telling her you noticed the distance and ask her why, when she seems to be so supportive and able with the daughters new baby coming.. then there are no misconceptions over what is going on.
good luck..

Answer 3

Mothers in "Law" what a bad name to have in the first place. By experience if you say something you are asking for more trouble. It might even show up ten years down the road. (Trust me I know that from experience)

Your child is a bond that has been formed between you and your husband that she has no control over. However the way she acts is something your husband should take up with her. Trust me she will take it so much better if it comes from her "Little Boy" than the daughter in law. Just make sure when he brings it up he says we feel or he feels never you make my wife feel. That will bite you ten years from now too. Good Luck.

Answer 4

You do not have to tell her anything..
She not favor for her daughter..
You can talk to your mother-in-law and see what the problem is.. IS her daughter having boy...
Because some parents would think of the next generation for the family Of last name...
But every in-law is different... You should take the baby over to see they grandma.. How do you think they would bond...
Or she not faking because elder seem to get all the hands and shoulder pain when they are old..
Or you should try do this.. Go over to they house and leave your baby there and tell them you have to store and see how they react.

Answer 5

Sit down with her and tell her how hurt you are by her behavior and ask what it is that has caused her to change her mind about your baby. There is something going on here that you don't know about. It is hard to "confront" someone about things we find uncomfortable but it can be done with love and 99% of the time turns out better then we expected.

Talk to her in a loving manner about it.

Answer 6

She won't listen to you. So, have your husband say something. This is ridiculous that she is overly favoring one person over the other. You don't have to take the kid over there if she is going to do this because I will tell you right now. This favoritism will show later in life and will definetely ruin your child's pysche. Have your husband talk NOW and fix this problem. Or better yet, offer to take her to the doctor and see what's really wrong with her arm.

Answer 7

You cannot control how your mother in law behaves. The only things that you can control is how your baby and husband feel. Assure them both of your love. Quit offering to let your MIL hold the baby. Let her hold the baby when she asks to. Tell your husband that his mother may change later. You don't need your MIL to make your baby and your husband feel love and be happy.

Answer 8

My physician requested me this very query, and advised me that if I did not wish a specified character within the room that him, or the nurses could be happy to inform them themselves. Just make it sound like there wasn't room for any individual else, or it was once larger if just a few folks are allowed. Just alert your physician and the nurses on your issues and you'll simply "blame" it at the nurses. Just allow them to realize forward of time. Meanwhile simply say that you do not know what number of are allowed within the supply room. Which you may also no longer realize I'm definite it varies by way of unique hospitals and physician's personal tastes and so forth. Maybe you might say your physician prefers a confined quantity of viewers? There are a couple of choices like those earlier than you ought to inform her that you would as an alternative no longer have her there and danger her emotions getting harm. It's tough for a spouse's mother to comprehend that although you could "love" her plenty and get alongside, she nonetheless is not the identical as your mom. Plus she would possibly consider like because it is HER grandchild that she will have to be allowed in there no longer realising that it places you in an embarassing trouble! I wasn't definite what I could do and kinda left the trouble as much as my spouse's mother. Luckily despite the fact that, I had a C-phase and the one one allowed was once my husband so I did not have fear approximately that trouble. My mom wasn't equipped to make it to my supply (she was once two,000miles away) however made it tomorrow. Meanwhile speak on your physician approximately your trouble and he/she will have to be equipped to aid you. He/She might also reccomend you write out your request (courteously) on a peice of paper in order that while you provide the entire nurses can see your requests on paper and deliver out your orders for that reason. Good LUCK!

Answer 9

This is one issue your husband is going to have to resolve with his parents. Find out why there is a problem and why she won't hold the baby.

Answer 10

I know this hurts you feelings and probably your husband's too.
This is your family and you two need to decide what to do.
Just remember some people are different and when you have these feelings, try to talk to her about it. Good luck.