Do you think my fiance has a right to be disappointed in me; possibly break up?

Question

We've been together 3 years. I had a daughter going into the relationship and we now have a son. I told him on our first date, because he asked, that I had been with 12 people, a few were one night stands. He has just put together the timeline in his head of when I was with these people and it all happened within a year. He doesn't think he will be able to get past this. Is there anything I can say to make things better? Should I try or is this his problem in his head he has to deal with?

Answer 1

The only way to keep your man is to let him put it in your chute. I've kept mine for years by letting him stir the fudge up whenever he wants to.

Answer 2

Well since most of the people that are answering are woman that have no clue what there talking I'm going to give me two cents even though I might be horribly wrong. He doesn't have much reason to be upset he's known for a while what I think is happening is that things are getting closer to you two getting married and he's getting scared so he's trying to find some excuse to not fully commit. Be there for him tell him that it was your past a past your not proud of and he has made you a better person or some bull crap like that. Maybe you should recommend he go away for a weekend. I had a similiar problem with a woman I was dating and I was trying to find excusses to leave her so I went away for a bit and it just made me miss her and remember how much I cared. For the most part it is something that he needs to work out in his head so don't be too pushy or you'll just give him more reason to leave you. Ok I'm editing this after reading better what some people have posted. Tell the guy how many you've slept with if he asks if he doesn't asks no problem but what ever you do don't lie about it. If a woman I knew well enough to have sex with told me that it was none of my business how many guy she slept with I'm going to asume it's a really large number and I would probably dump her over it. Even if she's been with 100 guys it best to know.

Answer 3

If he break up with u, it's an excuse, if u said u been with 12 people than he has been with a 1,000.Why is he worried about the time line now? is he questioning rather his son is really his. 3 years later u actually think this is a issue. What's really going on -is he using this as a excuse 2 get out the relationship.

Answer 4

If you told him from the jump that you had been with multiple people, then he shouldn't be still mad about that. That was 3 years ago. As long as you ain't been with no one but him since then he should have accepted that by now. I'm sure when you got with him he wasn't an angel either so if he cant accept it by now it you cant feel bad for that. That was your past, and if he wants to be your future I suggest that he get it together, or get the heck out the way. True love is taking the good with the bad and accepting each other. So Imma need him to do better.

Answer 5

Well, it's not like slept with those people when you were with him, so he should not be upset, what's been done has been done. However, and I cannot stress this enough- there is no reason to tell the mane how many people you slept with, whether its 2 or 40- it will not change anything, will not enrich his life in any way but can only do damage like the one you are talking about. When asked about this subject say that it is not important as you are with him now, if he presses, say something like 3 or 4- he be minding his business and what you did before you met him is none of his business.

Answer 6

Seems like if you have been together for three years and you have been faithful to him that he should move on. Sit down with him and explain that everyone makes mistakes. Tell him that you made choices earlier in your live before you met him but that you can't take them back. Ask him if there is anything that you can do to gain his trust. The worst thing that people can do in a relationship is worry about the past, especially if it was before they even began dating. Good luck!

Answer 7

why would he be digging up the past

if you didn't cheat on him then whats the problem what you did in the past is none of his business and if my guy did that i would be offended and insulted that he cant get over the past that has nothing to do with him

so tell him that you are sorry your past is hurting him but its none of his concern and if he cant get past it and wants to leave then you will help him pack cus you dont want to be with someone that makes a fuss out of something that isn't a problem tell him it feels like he is just trying to make a problem but you could be wrong and you aren't sure why he is so mad at all this

and then listen to what he hast to say and tell him in a very nice way cus you are going to be saying some really hard things and you need a sweet tone and you need to be kind or he will just take it as insults and he will start a fight good luck tell us how it goes

Answer 8

This is a tough one. There's probably a lot of trust that is lost because of this, especially with one night stands. Either he will get over it or he won't, there's nothing you can do now. If he can't get over it, I would move on and find someone who can, it will be hard considering you have two children, but there are men out there who will accept that you had a bad past, but they can look on to the future.

Answer 9

You should be disappointed, even angry, with him. The 12 guys was fine as long as he was trying to get in your pants, and now you have a kid.
He has less experience than you and it's making him resentful. You just need to get mad and tell him that he had already accepted you before you got knocked up, and that for him to start questioning the situation now is weak and childish, and that he needs to stand up and be a man and a father.
By the way, it's easier to have kids when you're married.

Answer 10

If he can't get past it you are going to have to move on. After the marriage he will find some excuse to break it off and may leave you with another child. For future relationships; no one really wants to know all about your sex life. What they are letting you know by asking is that they are insecure and need assurances of your love or there sexual prowess.

Good Luck

Answer 11

I had a boyfriend who couldn't stop asking about my past sex life. I got so tired of it. It got annoying and boring. This is what I finally said to him:

Tom, when we first started dating, I told you I had 3 kids right?

Yes.

So you knew at the time that I wasn't a virgin, right?

Yeah.

Now, the things we do in bed together, have you done them to other women with whom you've slept?

Yeah.

Of course you have, there are only so many ways to have sex.

So, recapping, you know I have kids, therefore you weren't expecting a virgin. You know I like sex, and therefore you know I have experience. You know I like sex with you because you make me scream, now, shut up about the past or you're going to ruin our future.

Still need time to think? Get back to me. I'm outta here.

Guess what he chose? If he doesn't get over it, get over him. Life's too short for this kind of idiocy.