are JW's allowed to be friends with pagans?

Question

if you read my last question, my 9yr old daugher would like to invite her JW friend (a boy) to her Bday party. somebody mentioned that JW's don't celebrate Bdays because it was originally a pagan custom. so, if his parents find out that she comes from a pagan family, will he still be allowed to play with her?

THA calm down - i'm just asking if he'll be allowed to play with a pagan girl. lots of catholics and some christians will not assciate with pagans! yes i know this from experience. i don't care who my daughter plays with as long as they're good people, i'm just asking the question! thats what this forum is for!

THA - are you some kind of troll trying to make JW's look bad? i can see right through you. wow. you have internet access, read up about paganism www.religioustolerance.org

and no, generally there aren't any pagan rituals going on in our house, only at the time of the sabbats. if the children want to invite a friend for that, we inform the parents exactly what we will be doing and welcome them to come along if they want. i haven't had any parents hold their child back from attending, just as my children have all attended church services and other religious practises with their friends

Answer 1

I think Melanie hit it on the head. Allot of it depends on the parents. More and more it is becoming harder to decide who is a good playmate for one's child. As for the birthday invite, if you already know the boy's/parent's views then it might seem pushy but if you really want to/your daughter really wants to invite him, go ahead. It will give him and your daughter a chance to work on their people skills, ie, it lets the boy express his views and the girl hers. We do feel that it is important to follow the Bible. Obviously we feel it important for other Bible followers to be the ones we are around often so that we can build each other up. That said I have known families where the parents very strictly watched their children's associates. I also know/know of families that let the children choose their associates. In both instances I have seen that sometimes the children seem much better off/worse off because of what the parents did. An Elder (who used to be Mormon) in our congregation, used to sleep over with a Witness youth. The parents of the Witness boy had a simple rule, follow the basic household rules, have fun, and when it was time for going from door to door/meetings he could come or the Dad would gladly drop him off at home while the family took care of spiritual matters. So to make a short answer long:) you need to talk with the parents themselves. I hope things work out. You seem to be a very polite person.

Answer 2

I'm not a JW but I had a JW friend as a child. She came to my birthdays/ slumber parties and to my Halloween party-there was no problem with either. We even exchanged bibles for a week. It would depend on the parents, I suppose. Maybe some JW parents are stricter. No harm in asking.

Answer 3

A Jehovah Witness would definitely not allow their child to attend a birthday party, or associate closely as friends with a Pagan. This is part of their beliefs. More details about the group here:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=qqWyJg0bmlc

Answer 4

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Answer 5

As a JW, I'm sure they won't allow him to go to the B-day party. But I'm also sure they are most likely rational people as well.

He'll still be allowed to play with her. They probably won't however, want him to play with her exclusively. They may consider it not a good idea, cause the beliefs don't match. They would probably want him to only associate (outside of school that is) with children who share his beliefs.
But again, that's up to his parents.

Answer 6

The little guy got an invite.
Obviously your daughter and him have spent many a moment together in youthful play.
Or do you invite strangers to your daughter's birthday parties.
The boys parents will not (have not) looked upon you as 'pagan.'
You acted out of lack of knowledge, not evil.
JW's try there best to be friendly, co-operative and helpful.
So, your daughter and their son will continue to know each other and spend some time together.
However, there will be a growing number of occasions when he will absent himself.

Answer 7

Technically no Christian should hang out with pagans. But if the parents allow the kids to remain friends despite that I applaud them.

Answer 8

JWs will not allow anyone of the JWs to associate talk to or relate to anyone who is not a JW that includes family members who are not JW I been there done that got the Tshirt and lost many friends and family because of it...

Answer 9

Jehovah's Witnesses tend to be selective in their choice of association, but individuals and family heads are free to decide this for themselves. Like most decisions regarding home-life, it seems best left to the preferences of individuals and family heads.

(1 Thessalonians 4:11) Make it your aim to live quietly and to mind your own business

(1 Peter 4:15) However, let none of you suffer ...as a busybody in other people’s matters.

(Acts 18:14-15) If it were, indeed, some wrong or a wicked act of villainy... I would [cooperate] with you. But if it is controversies over speech and names and the law among you, you yourselves must see to it. I do not wish to be a judge of these things.

(Luke 6:41-42) Why, then, do you look at the straw that is in your brother’s eye, but do not observe the rafter that is in your own eye? 42 How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, allow me to extract the straw that is in your eye,’ while you yourself are not looking at the rafter in that eye of yours? Hypocrite! First extract the rafter from your own eye, and then you will see clearly how to extract the straw that is in your brother’s eye.

(Romans 12:10-16) In brotherly love have tender affection for one another. In showing honor to one another take the lead. ...be blessing and do not be cursing. ...Do not become discreet in your own eyes.

Learn more:
http://watchtower.org/e/20030908/article_01.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/rq/index.htm?article=article_08.htm
http://watchtower.org/e/20040815/article_01.htm

Answer 10

“Where on earth did you learn that?” How many parents have asked that question, horrified at something that their child has said or done and that seems completely out of character? And how often does the answer involve some new friend at school or in the neighborhood? Yes, companions affect us profoundly, whether we are young or old. The apostle Paul warned: “Do not be misled. Bad associations spoil useful habits.” (1 Corinthians 15:33. Proverbs 13:20) Youths in particular are susceptible to peer pressure. How vital it is, then, that they choose good friends!

15 As every parent knows, children will not always choose well; they need some guidance. It is not a matter of choosing their friends for them. Rather, as they grow, teach them discernment and help them to see what qualities they should value in friends. The main quality is a love of Jehovah and of doing what is right in his eyes. (Mark 12:28-30.) Teach them to love and respect those who possess honesty, kindness, generosity, diligence. Set the example by using the same criteria in choosing your own friends.

16 You might also ask your children what other children think about these friends. Are they known for demonstrating personal integrity or for living a double life? If the latter is true, help your children to reason on why such association could hurt them. (Psalm 26:4, 5, 9-12) If you notice undesirable changes in your child’s behavior, dress, attitude, or speech, you may need to have a talk about his or her friends. Your child may be spending time with a friend who is exerting a negative influence.—Compare Genesis 34:1, 2.

Yet it is not enough simply to teach your children to avoid bad associates. Help them to find good ones.

18 Wise parents help their children to find good friends and then to enjoy wholesome recreation with them. For many parents, though, this matter of recreation presents challenges of its own.
WHAT KIND OF RECREATION?

19 Does the Bible condemn having fun? Far from it! The Bible says that there is “a time to laugh . . . and a time to skip about.” (Ecclesiastes 3:4) God’s people in ancient Israel enjoyed music and dancing, games, and riddles. Jesus Christ attended a large wedding feast and “a big reception feast” that Matthew Levi put on for him. (Luke 5:29; John 2:1, 2) Clearly, Jesus was no killjoy. May laughter and fun never be viewed as sins in your household!

Jehovah is “the happy God.” (1 Timothy 1:11) So worship of Jehovah should be a source of delight, not something that casts a shadow of joylessness over life. (Compare Deuteronomy 16:15 - Well-chosen recreation is more than fun. It is a way for a child to learn and mature. However, balance is required.

In these troubled “last days,” human society is filled with people who are “lovers of pleasures rather than lovers of God,” just as was prophesied in the Bible. (2 Timothy 3:1-5 - For many, recreation is the main thing in life. Many Christian families have countless warm and happy memories of enjoying recreation together—picnicking, hiking, camping, playing games and sports, traveling to visit relatives or friends. Some have found that simply reading aloud together for relaxation is a great source of pleasure and comfort. Others enjoy telling humorous or interesting stories. Still others have developed hobbies together, for example, woodworking and other crafts, as well as playing musical instruments, painting, or studying God’s creations. Children who learn to enjoy such diversions are protected from much unclean entertainment, and they learn that there is more to recreation than simply sitting passively and being entertained. Participating is often more fun than observing.

25 Social gatherings can also be a rewarding form of recreation. When they are well supervised and not outlandishly large or time-consuming, they can give your children more than just fun. They can help to deepen the bonds of love in the congregation.—Compare Luke 14:13, 14; Jude 12. With the foregoing in mind, Jehovah’s Witnesses choose not to share in birthday festivities. To be sure, the birth of a child is a happy, glorious event. Naturally, all parents rejoice as their children grow and develop with each passing year. Jehovah’s Witnesses also find great joy in demonstrating their love for their family and friends by giving gifts and having good times together. However, in view of the origin of birthday celebrations, they prefer to do so at other times throughout the year.—Luke 15:22-25; Acts 20:35 -

If you would like further information, why not speak to your neighbor who is one of Jehovah's Witnesses? Please contact the local Kingdom Hall. Or visit http://www.watchtower.org