my 3 (almost 4) year old has been baby sat by my mother his whole life. He's really sweet to me at home, but when we're there, he says he hates me and kicks me when I tell him it's time to go home. Once I get him home, he's fine. Any suggestions on how to make him respect me at my parent's? Oh, I'm also a single mother.
2007-03-29 03:16:55 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
You need to talk to your mother and let her know that her spoiling him is causing his bad behavior. Also Make up a sticker chart and put small goals on one side and the days of the week on the top of the chart. One of the goals should be treating you with respect at grandmas. When he doesn't misbehave give him a sticker in that square, when he does write a sad face in that spot. Let him know if he gets 3 sad faces you won't play a game (whatever reward you want to use) with him. I know it sounds crazy, but I have a son who was doing the same thing(he is 3). It is getting better because he doesn't want to get a sad face. He is also cleaning his room, eating his dinner, and hanging his own coat up everyday too.
2007-03-29 03:27:41 · answer #1 · answered by cutie322434 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are a lot of good answers. I have 2 little girls (now 3 and 4 1/2) that for the longest time after their mother and i divorced, would not stop acting up in public. I (or she) would go to pick them up from daycare, and not only would they scream and kick, but take off running! I had to chase my oldest daughter down the block, and i finally caught up to her literally 3 blocks away. And the 2 of them would fight so bad they would draw blood. I don't know if it was just a phase they were going through, but the lack of stability in their lives I imagine had a lot to do with it. Now I have since remarried, have another baby on the way, and a great job. Their mother is doing okay too.
about the only thing you can do is to be consistent. Every single time, no matter how frustrating to you, act the same with them. And insist on their daycare provider doing the same. Consistency and stability are crucial to young children growing up with as little problems as possible. Hope that helps
2007-03-29 11:06:17 · answer #2 · answered by the big jerm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this happens to most parents. Ask your mom to intervene when you arrive and let him know that she expects him to behave when you get there. If there's something special they do together or a special treat she gives him, have her threaten to take it away if he misbehaves when you come to pick him up. They usually listen to grandma and don't want to disappoint her.
It''s just a phase most kids go through at that age. They are angels at daycare or the grandparents house and turn into little devils when mommy walks in.
I'm sure you are doing fine as a single mother. Even some married moms have to single-handedly raise their children with not much help from the dad, so hang in there. It's great that your parents are there to babysit him.
2007-03-29 10:31:47 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kids are like that when they have to go home, single mother or no. You've got to stop that before he gets bigger though, kicking others can get him in a lot of trouble at school (not to mention in adult life).
Insist to your mother that he needs to show you respect, and she should really stick up for you. It would be good if she said something like he wasn't allowed in her house if he acted like that, kicking a lady, and his own mother.
At the same time, you'll have to point out good things about his behavior when he's being sweet.
And maybe some sports or something to get rid of the tension (girls tend to jump rope, boys run and kick a ball to let out extra energy).
2007-03-29 10:29:07 · answer #4 · answered by dude 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My son does that to me some times...he's sweet as pie when my mom has been watching him...but I take him home and he's a monster. I have found and read up on it...its his way of telling me that he has missed me...so I do try and call him during the day to talk to him to know that mommy hasn't forgotten about him. Its not that your Mother is spoiling him...he just misses you.
2007-03-29 12:20:46 · answer #5 · answered by mommy_2_liam 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents to follow the same rules you lay at home. That is where its at. I broke my 3 almost 4 year old from that a while ago. I wasnt dealing with it. he only went over there during babysitting times and she started enforcing my rules.
2007-03-29 10:22:52 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs.Vick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main reason for this is one of two reason the lost of a male figure and no entity of a dominant figure. inorder to discipline you need to show dominance and punishment. kids will act like kids, but it is in the way the parents act and react which will show the discipline of a child. If your child act like that you punish him and tell your parents to respect your decisions. spoiling can be good if it is done a well controlled mannor and if respect is involved.
2007-03-29 10:26:54 · answer #7 · answered by a_perez317 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Boy do I know how that feels. My son is 3 1/2 and he is the same way with his grandparents. But I had to sit them down a few months ago and set some guidelines on what to and not to give him. They give him whatever he requests. They were not happy about that, but they do not have to deal with him when his is bad. so I would sit down and have a heart to heart with your parents.
2007-03-29 10:26:42 · answer #8 · answered by Stephen F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My kids use to do that when I would bring them home from my parents. All I said to them was, "If you are going to act like this when we leave grandma's, then maybe you should stop coming over here." My mom played along and said, "yep, that's right. Grandma doesn't want you to behave this way towards mommy. It's not nice." That's all it took, they left willingly after that. Good luck!! :-)
2007-03-29 10:22:27 · answer #9 · answered by punkin_eater26 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see that happening to my son in a few years! But, I would just try to have your parents talk to him and tell him that that is not the way that he is to speak to his mother and they need to stand behind whatever you tell him when you are there.
2007-03-29 10:23:40 · answer #10 · answered by eaglesnest1119 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋