I would like to invite my dad's boss who is someone I have known for several years, to the reception but he is dating a woman that I refuse to have anywhere around on our special day. I know that whoever is put on the outside of the envelope is who is invited and I plan to just put my dad's bosses name on the envelope but if this person RSVPs back as two people coming or worse yet--this person that I don't want there shows up with him even though the RSVP was for one person, which is entirely possible because that is something that this woman would do, how do I handle that without ruining the whole day? My dad's boss is aware of my wishes not to have anything to do with his girlfriend therefore there will be no friction between my dad and his boss. I will know that this woman is there--the reception is not all that large and she is a very very very loud woman. They do not live togehter--they are just dating.
2007-03-29 03:08:04 · 16 answers · asked by CJ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Just write 0 guests on the invitation, put your maid of honor's number ( or someone neutral ) as the one to call for RSVPing. If he calls and says the 2 of them are coming, she can tell him that seating was very limited and you couldn't afford extra guests, and mention an exact count has already been paid for and given to the caterer. If he gives her crap, she can say that you would have had to exclude family members or close friends if if every invite were allowed guests. These are things he can't argue. I think if you're paying thousands of dollars on your dream day, and paying at least $50 for each person to eat, you can invite and exclude who ever you want. I don't think anyone has a "right" to be invited to a wedding, it's a privilege and an honor. This is your day, you deserve to not be annoyed by someone you can't stand anyway. If anyone gives you crap, remind them she doesn't even live with him and ask if they would have wanted to be seated at her table and see how much louder she can get with a few drinks in her! Don't worry about it girl. Do what you want.
2007-03-29 05:18:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You ended the question with the one sentence you should have started it with "they do not live together - they are just dating". Etiquette says that if two people are living together as man and wife, you should invite them both. But if she's just a girlfriend you have no obligations or expectations to include her anyway. The fact that you don't like her or want her there is not even relevant. Just send the invite to the boss - with his name only, don't include "guest" or anything and if asked, let it be known that you are limited to a set amount of people and can't have invited guests bring dates. Even if the boss knows why she wasn't invited, you've diplomatically uninvited her and didn't cause any wrinkles. Good luck.
2007-03-29 10:28:46 · answer #2 · answered by Brandy 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
If you say that this boss knows you don't want him to bring his date and don't trust that he will respect that wish than the only thing you can do is not invite him. If for some reason you do invite him and he does bring this date - do not let it ruin your day because it is not worth it.
2007-03-29 10:14:48 · answer #3 · answered by GingerGirl 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's generally considered proper to include a guest's "significant other" if they are living together or have been dating for more than one year.
If this does not apply to the boss and his girlfriend, call him up (or have your dad call him up) and explain that space is limited and unfortunately you can't afford extra guests.
However, if the boss and the girlfriend are serious according to the above, you'll have to either suck it up and invite both or invite neither.
Good luck.
2007-03-29 10:17:43 · answer #4 · answered by Kiwi 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I would say send the invitation with "Mr. Bob Doe, individually". You will get the picture and since he knows of your feelings it would be severely rude of him to bring her. You may also have your dad check with his boss a few weeks before the wedding saying "we are doing the table assignments and have you down for 1 seat. Can't wait to see you there!" Good luck and God Bless.
2007-03-29 10:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by tersey562 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
If your fathers boss knows your wishes, then he should respect them and attend your wedding alone. This doesn't seem like it's a big secret, so there shouldn't be any reason why she should be there.
2007-03-29 10:42:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all you shoul be worried about your soon to be husband not your dad's boss's girlfriend.Why do you care? It's rude to not invite someone as a couple.If you don't like her well just don't speak to her at your wedding I mean how much can it really hurt to have her there. How would you like it if someone told you, that you can't bring your husband
2007-03-29 10:57:58 · answer #7 · answered by schristine23 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I would send an invitation to him. If he responds that he is bringing a guest I would tell him politely that the wedding is small and the invitation was for him alone.
2007-03-29 10:17:58 · answer #8 · answered by Maria b 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
By etiquette, it is rude to not invite BOTH people in any socially recognized couple. If they are socially recognized as an established couple, you MUST invite the woman. This applies for dating steadily, living together, engaged-- all of that.
2007-03-29 10:46:21 · answer #9 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think youre priorities are a little mixed up that your fixating on this woman - you dad's boss's girlfreind - on YOUR wedding day. There are plenty of bigger things to be concerned about. Put someone else in charge of her if she comes, and its their job to keep her in line. Then get over it.
2007-03-29 10:19:02 · answer #10 · answered by lillilou 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋