My girlfriend Miep and I have been together for two years. She is a really wonderful woman, very funny and educated. She is a pure European.
Anyway, she has been basically giving me an ultimatum lately that she wants something more, and that is marriage and children.
I love her and everything, plus she is European. But, she is so ******* short it drives me insane! 5'1! Every time I am around her, I feel like I am on the set of a Nickelodeon show. It's ridiculous! I keep having visions of Willy Wonka & the chocolate factory every morning when I wake up next to that.
So, I've decided to break it off. Since I don't like confrontation, I think I'm going to fake my death. She is gone to visit relatives next week. I've already put in for a new name, and have looked at moving. I have found a new job in another state.
Hypothetically, can I hire an actor to play a police officer to "break the bad news" to her?
Any advise would be appreciated.
Cheers
2007-03-29 01:36:11 · 20 answers · asked by Kermit renversant de corporation 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Yes; the only problem is that most of the police uniforms you can dig up tend to be really, really old.....so the actor you hire is going to look straight out of CHIPS.
2007-03-29 01:42:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
:D
Funniest question all day.
So, here's what you do...
Find out where she is, and hire not just an actor in a police costume, but a male stripper in a police uniform.
He hands her the letter telling her that you've been crushed, mutilated, chopped up and fell in the ocean to be devoured by fish (no body, no funeral, etc). And then, while she's grieving, he starts gyrating his hips, and goes into his routine.
After she and her friends get over the shock and have a great time, she'll probably ask who put him up to this... give the stripper instructions that he's to tell her, "No... he really died... I just didn't want to see you crying for so long... Later." and then leave.
2007-03-29 11:14:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oompa Loompa, oompadee doo...
This is the funniest question I've seen today!!
Maybe you should try to work it out...put a little bit of Miracle Gro in her drink that you are "soooo sweet" to get for her. If that doesn't work, you can try putting her on the rack to stretch her out a bit. Maybe buy her platform shoes for her birthday.
Of course, equal opportunity demands you put yourself through the wash...hot water and a good tumble dry on high heat should shrink you at least a little bit.
Don't give up! I'm sure you'll find medium ground (or height as the case may be) sooner or later!!
ROFLMBO
Blessings
2007-03-29 08:48:13 · answer #3 · answered by Silverwolf 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
"So, I've decided to break it off. Since I don't like confrontation, I think I'm going to fake my death. She is gone to visit relatives next week. I've already put in for a new name, and have looked at moving. I have found a new job in another state."
Very funny Sparky. You make a good clown.
2007-03-29 08:41:22 · answer #4 · answered by Queue XIX 1 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Honestly the cost of hiring a professional actor is going to be hefty. Consider springing for a police costume and breaking the news yourself. If you wear one of those disguises with the glasses with the nose and moustache attached, she'll never know.
2007-03-29 08:41:22 · answer #5 · answered by clean_pair_of_pants 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I gonna bet its more of a lust thing for you if your major problem with her is that she is short and sorry but 5'1 just isnt that short, unless you are close to 7 feet or something like that
whatever dude its probably best for her also since you are just faking it anyway - do it and do it quick and complete, that would be my advice
2007-03-29 08:42:35 · answer #6 · answered by servant FM 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you don't deserve to have her anyway. Just tell her that deep down you are a jerk and and you are not comfortable being around yourself much less anyone else.
Truth may hurt, but it is always better to tell it like it is.
Btw, the worlds tallest man just got married, he's 7'10" and his new wife is 5' 0".
2007-03-29 08:52:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's sad to appreciate a person...like that...the world is filed with lots of people that are only joking! I really don't know what to say...may God help you be a real human being!Live her alone and take good care!
2007-03-29 08:51:43 · answer #8 · answered by tatal_nostru2006 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go ahead and leave her you sound like a freak any way. Grow up and get off your high horse she doesn't need a narrow minded person like you anyway.
2007-03-29 08:49:43 · answer #9 · answered by Robert S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I certainly hope you're joking. If not, you are the worst sort of man to walk this earth! If you don't want to date someone, just tell them to their face. Deceit isn't a good idea at all.
2007-03-29 08:49:04 · answer #10 · answered by sister steph 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋