am I doing the right thing?

Question

a big problem regarding my brother in law who committed a crime... rape..my mother in law wants us to participate...to brive the family of the victim so they wont file the case.i dont whant my family to get involved.i dont want to get my hands dirty about it.I even quarrel to my mother in law..but my husband didnt want his brother to be in jail,instead he's blaming me for being cruel to her mother..

Answer 1

Here are the facts in the United States: Such a bribe would in itself be a felony, the discussion of it is already conspiracy in and of itself, and third your knowledge and not reporting it makes you an accessory after the fact. Depending on the prosecuting attorney that is four felonies of a minimum of five years each that could land on your head. Seek a woman's shelter and call the district attorney. Remember, you can not be forced to testify against your husband but you can against the rest of his family. If you don't act to protect yourself now what is going to happen to you when you testify against Mama? He has already shown that they take precedence over you.

Answer 2

No way. I would no help a rapist. Do you know why? Because they never stop until somebody stop them. Peharps, this is not the fist time he rapes someone. I bet his family might have heard rumors and accusations regarding to this before and kept doing just what they are asking you to do, covering him up. Your husband doesn't want him to go to jail, but it seems, he doesn't care that much about that, otherwise, he wouldn't do something that could put him there. Sometimes the family has more concern for a relative than the own person. He should stay with his people, in the jail, not with a family that cares.

Answer 3

Sounds like your inlaws watch too much tv. A bribe is a crime. If the attorneys are suggesting a settlement that is a different matter...not all rape victims want to appear in court or be publicly dragged through the media. It sounds like a lot of drama to me. So I would suggest you make yourself a yes list. What are the things you ARE willing to do to be supportive of your inlaws and your husband. Set a dollar amount (if any) if it comes down to attnys asking for cash. Just paying for attnys will be expensive so you and your husband need to be on the same page on this. Approach it this way....that you need to know how much YOU CAN help going in. Your list of support for your brother in law may be NONE....or it may be for the good of your husband, you would visit him or send him cards from the both of you. Only you decide. Then when the topic comes up----go to your yes list. Volunteer to _________(whatever) and thats it. Let them spin and imagine and talk. Nod your head and listen. You do care about the inlaws and the husband (i assume) so you can remember that one of things on your YES list is listening (though I would have a plan to not participate more than 15-30 mins at a time). Remember this is emotionally charged in all directions....no one wants to believe someone in their family is capable of rape and you can't blame his parents for hoping there is a way out..... All the best to you.

Answer 4

As a rape victim, this whole pay them off scenario is repulsive to me. Your brother in law has destroyed a woman's life and his family thinks money is the way to fix it? That disgusts me.
He deserves more than prison, he deserves to suffer the way his victim will for the rest of her life. I was raped over 20 years ago and it still affects my life every day. Don't let them do it. In fact, show them this.

Answer 5

If you don't agree with what they're doing, then you should not get involved. Remember that as with all other matters you are entitled to your opinion and to say/stand up for what you believe is right.

Evaluate how this will affect your relationship with your husband. Do you feel like you HAVE to do what they want?
If you feel like you have to do what they want in order to avoid problems with your husband, then you have a long road ahead of you or a short one. Your husband should respect your prerogative even if he doesn't agree with you and he should not try to make you feel guilty nor make you feel like the "bad guy."

Answer 6

It is a crime to bribe a victim of a crime since he is also a witness. I would stay out of it. Let this rapists family do what they want to do. If the family of the victim accepts this bribe, then shame on them.

Answer 7

Your in-laws are seriously sick and disgusting people.

If you know it to be credible that this man has committed rape, he should face justice for that.

He may go on to rape other women. What are you going to do, pay them all off?

Rape destroys women's lives. This man should face the consequences of his despicable crime.

Stick to your guns. Don't get your hands dirty with this horrible business. I have great admiration for you sticking up for what is right here.

Answer 8

remeber wrong is wrong. crime is crime and whosoever commits that needs to repent for that.
at the same time, howsoever, bad a criminal is, his family would like to support him. only thing is that they need to draw a line upto which they should provide protection as we all have a duty towards the society in which we live in and all types of heinous crimes should not be ignored.

Answer 9

IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE INVOLED THEN DONT TELL THEM YOU ARE GOING TO STAY OUT AND THEY ARE STUPID AND IS MISSING THE POINT A WOMAN GOT RAPE NOW WHAT IF IT WAS YOU THERE SISTER OR EVEN THE CRAZY MOTHER THEN WHAT I SAY LET THAT F*****DO ALL THE TIME THE JUDGE HANDS DOWN

Answer 10

Are you being serious?

What if he were to rape you?

Would you like it if someone offered you a bribe to assume that it never happened?

If he was "man" enough to do it, he has to be "man" enough to face the music.