Should I send this to my ex?

Question

I tried to hint a little bit of disapproval when my ex told me he quit his part time job? and now he hasn't responded in three days when we had been responding to each other's mails within a day. I just asked him "Have you made any friends at work?" He wrote back: "[my name], I have quite a bit of money right now. [my name], I quit my part time job this month. [my name], did the doctor recommend that you start working full time in Japan?" I just told him that I'm working in Japan from May; he congratulated me. We have agreed to see each other when I return to Japan next month. I wrote back: "the doctor is recommending that I make my own decision. The doctor is not making opposition to my working in Japan. If you quit your part time job, do you have time on your side? How do you spend your time every day?" Now he hasn't responded in three days! I wanted to hint a bit of disapproval, for his sake, because I want to encourage him to try to be productive, but on the other hand this is a

sensitive issue. I am thinking of sending this message: "I am sorry for asking such a question. If you don't want to answer how you spend your time everyday or whether you have time on your side, you don't have to answer. I just thought if possible I wanted you to go back to university and I wanted to encourage you to get a full time job and be fully employed so I thought i Should be a bit strict, but I love you no matter what you do. Since you have quite a bit of money now, I don't think you have to do part time job if you don't want to. I also have quite a bit of money. If you ever need money, just let me know. My salary might be small, but as your friend I want to support you as much as possible." Do you think I can send this? The reasons he might be incapable of having a full time job: his educational background (he claims he dropped out of a "third rate" university), his mental illness...this is the second time he has quit his part time job since being released from

hospital. Background information: We broke up a month ago and the main reason for breaking up was because he did not think he could marry me because he could never get a full time job, plus he did not like the long distance. He told me his feelings for me fundamentally have not changed and if he didn't love me, he would still go out with me; then he said he loves me less than in the beginning and his feelings have cooled. However, since the break up we have been emailing each other more frequently, and he asked me if I'm coming to Japan in April and said he wants to see me the week I return. My question is whether I should try to encourage him and show disapproval when necessary, or whether I should try to allow him to let me support him if we get back together and let him do whatever he likes and wants to do with his time. I don't know whether he is capable of having a regular job. Obviously, I still love him.

Answer 1

whoaaaa....slow down.

breathe.

don't send him that message. it's creepy.
maybe he really is just busy with something and hasn't had time to answer you, but sending him that long apology for asking a question is ridiculous.

Be patient!