I met this woman she is madly in love with me. True. She does so much for me, loves me and cares for me. But I do not seems to care for her, and hurt her feeling all the time. She gets so depressed, and suffer so much sadness. I told her from the beginning, lets be friends, and take it slow. Please be patient with me, etc. But we keep having sex which confuses our relationship. We even talked about not having sex, but we are both weak. She wants me all the way, and told me she is passionately in love with me. She is so wonderful and loving, but I just can not fall in love with her. I have never met anyone who treat me so kindly and loving me so much deeply. So, I am also sad, scared, scared to hurt her, scared to loose her, and scared I will never meet anyone...I've dated many, but nothing lasted. I suffer anxiety and depression, most people do not understand, nor want "trouble" like that in relationship. Well, I also know many who has issue and illness but in love, dating, or married.
2007-03-28 18:43:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, the anxiety and depression would play a huge role in the unhealthy way you view this relationship. You know it's wrong to sleep with her. You are allowing this to happen for your need of validation and closeness, she is doing it in the hope that it will be the time you look at her and say "i love you". If you don't love her, then stop doing it. If you really don't want to hurt her, leave her alone. Is the fact you don't love her due to a fear of rejection and commitment? Do you subconsciously think you don't deserve someone so loving? Do you think she cant possibly love you for the person you are? I pose these questions for you to look at and answer honestly in yourself. You are the only one who will be able to answer them. Open yourself up to love and warmth in healthy ways and you may be surprised whats out there. Sure, there are some people who think the depression bin in too deep to get into, but again it depends upon your outlook. Are you using it as a cop-out? Ask yourself some honest questions and when you figure out the answers make a decision. But don't keep her hanging its cruel. *smile*
2007-03-28 18:54:55 · answer #1 · answered by kelstar 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is time to back out little by little to ease the physical attachment.
To be abrupt would hurt her too much. She has been good to you. However many days you see her now, stay away twice as much in a week. Let her know that You need time to work on
Yourself before you can be any good to someone else, and that there is nothing she can do to change what you alone must do.
After one week goes by of seeing her less, cut back two more
days to where you visit two times a week. In the third week,
prepare yourself to stop the sex with her, and see her once a
week in the 4th week. In six weeks, if you are not able to end
seeing her, then you don't know what love is, and you do love
her. When firmly told, I don't want you calling me or coming
near where I live, ask her IF SHE UNDERSTANDS! She seems
rather possessive, which she probably was in her last affair.
The more she did for you, the more she thought you're hers.
She needs to know, She cannot hold love so tightly to her
or she shall kill that which she loves. You require the freedom you are accustomed to more than anything at this time in your
life. Please apologize like a gentleman that things couldn't be
different. She may cry, but she will respect you.
2007-03-29 02:43:02 · answer #2 · answered by LuckyLilTroll2U 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't love her or you wouldn't be looking for a way out. Love isn't a felling it is a commitment. She sounds like she is committed to you.
If you love someone you will do things to please that person putting there needs before yours. She sounds like she does this. Your question needs to be to your self if you are will to sacrifice yourself for her? If the answer is no then you don't love her.
Your not alone most people don't know what love is or there would not be so much divorce.
Your whole life is about commitments your God, spouse, children, church, job, & house. In this order.
You need to learn to love yourself also. Speak good things into your life & not bad things. Depresstion isn't something you are born with it is not of God. For the bible tells us that all good things are from above & the devil comes to kill, still, & destroy.
God showes us what love is by sending his only son that was born by his sprit to die for us so that we could have everlasting life. Now that is comitment. He took me in & made me his son & gave me all the promises that he did for jesus. That is love.
We all fall short but just try for this kind of love & everything will be OK.
2007-03-29 12:28:31 · answer #3 · answered by kingmt01 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all stop having sex all your are doing is telling her that you care for her in some way. You need to straighten out your life first before carrying on a relationship with someone else. You are thinking of her and her feelings but you need to stop all intimacy because she is getting attachted more
2007-03-29 01:53:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
WEEEEEEAAAAAA
shutup and just be. Noone said you had to be together for ever. Sure we would alllll like to believe "true love" exists. But if you don't take a chance, you'll never know.
If she REALLY loves you. She'll let you have a 3 way. Try that.
2007-03-29 01:51:44 · answer #5 · answered by relintles1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better to hurt her once than hurt her a lifetime. There is someone for everyone, you too will find the right person, don't settle because you don't want to hurt her.
2007-03-29 01:47:40 · answer #6 · answered by Chrys23 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think its too much love to handle... I believe most Guys like it when the chick is a ***** cause it leaves them wanting more...
2007-03-29 01:47:23 · answer #7 · answered by purple_85 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like she's accepted your anxiety and depression...thats too bad you cant learn to relax and enjoy being soo loved. how are you hurting her? seems youre hurting yourself by denying that you can be loved so deeply.
its a darn shame. marry her, have separate bedrooms so you can have your moments alone? dunno, see a doctor or herbalogist. eat healthy and dont drink alchohol. allow someone to love you. your not allowing her to love you..thats why you dont feel you love her. i hope you happiness. peace
2007-03-29 02:04:39 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are bored because you didn't have to work for it. Why do you have empty sex with a woman like that?
2007-03-29 01:53:03 · answer #9 · answered by Your Uncle Dodge! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Quit having sex would be a great start! that's only making her think you care... common sense. think with your brain, not your dick. And it sounds like you may need to see a councelor...
2007-03-29 01:51:22 · answer #10 · answered by engineer46526 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋