Social Anxiety?

Question

How can I be good at social conversation and be comfortable with people I am with, especially in a group situation at dinner table. I just feel like I am an idiot says odd things or just be dead silent since I am so terrified to say something. Same with visiting some one's home, I feel so odd and uneasy while I am staying over friends house, just do not know how to act around. If I try to be just me, it seems irritate hell out of everyone. I have had a nice friend came to stay, she was wonderful and so much fun. She also stayed with my other friends house, everyone loved her. I guess because she was comfortable with her self, and has a great social skill which has been developed since child, its a built up process. I missed all that since I have been always suffering from social anxiety disorder. I was always odd one, but popular in school, cause I was so odd. But I am a 40 year old mature adult, I can not be odd and be a class clown like when I was 15.

Answer 1

I understand exactly how you feel. It's not something that you can just become "good" at - it is learned over time. Try not to be afraid. Even if you do say something stupid, it's not the worst thing. It happens even to those who have good social IQs. Sometimes socializing online is easier, as well.

I am not a psychologist, but knowing many people who have it, sometimes social awkwardness can be a sign of Asberger's Syndrome...

Answer 2

Having a drink can help. Not suggesting you get drunk or develop a drinking problem, but it can help in some situations. Visualization is also helpful. Visualize yourself having a great time with people. You don't have to visualize what you are saying, just the type of energy you want to feel (relaxed, comfortable). Sometimes people have a hard time visualizing themselves. That's OK, just visualize the back of your head, or your hand, it works just as well. Go to the gym and work the excess energy. Also, many people feel the way you feel. Good luck

Answer 3

I will be to the point. Have you discussed medication with your Doctor? Other than that it will take years of therapy. I feel for you as I am socially awkward myself - I just do not think normally so cannot understand the normal flow of conversation and unwritten rules, almost like I had Aspergeres Syndrome (but don't). One thing I know is that you will have to pursue some sort of policy of change to get better. Tell me how it goes - email me thru my profile if you like.

Answer 4

I know the feeling, although I'm only 37. (Holy Cow!) Still, it's a skill to be learned; maybe you should observe this friend of yours, and take pride in your own accomplishments. Liking yourself is the first part of liking other people, as we both should already know.

Answer 5

you could take like a class that helps with your social skills or something. or maybe you could practice talking to random people on aim.

Answer 6

if you aren't relax try mexican herbs they are cheap and they are narcotics which help you relax