I was just curious, I have seen alot of people ask questions about formal-wear and weddings in the past couple days, and there are some people who I feel like they would rather throw the happy couple off a cliff than attend a wedding that says "Black Tie Affair" on the invite. I am not having a problem with my guests and my Black Tie Wedding, but I had a conversation with one of my bridesmaids about this and we are both stumped to why people feel this way and why people feel so incredibly strongly against it. Why is one considered to be a "bridezilla" by putting "black tie" on an invitation?
Just curious, thanks!
2007-03-28 18:28:59 · 10 answers · asked by Marie521 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am not too sure either, lol. I know what you mean though, I have been told the same thing on here!
I think it depends on where you are from, and if you are not from an area that is used to formal black tie weddings with all the trimmings, then it seems odd and really rude to asks your guests to do something like that. But if where you are from, it's accecptable, then just ignore people when you ask a question, on here, you are getting a very very very diverse group of people and maybe they dont understand where you are from and what kind of weddings people in your area have. Good luck, black tie and all!
Oh, and I think its also with people being able to afford it too.....but if an invite says black tie and I was tight on money (happened a few times while I was still in college) then I just dressed the best I could and my date would wear a nice, dark suit with a tie. We fit in just fine and it's not weird for some people to still wear something even a lil less formal than how we were dressed.
2007-03-28 18:35:01 · answer #1 · answered by Nicole 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
My definition of a Bridezilla is someone who says/thinks "Everything must be exactly how I want it!" "This is MY wedding, I have been planning this since I was eight!" "If you do not follow my rules you cannot come!" When planning a wedding I suggest you keep in mind the wedding party, both families and your guests. Of course you cannot please everyone all the time.
I agree that common courtesy requires guests to wear a dress or suit to a wedding, especially if the ceremony is in a church and the reception is held at a nice restaurant or banquet hall or country club. Requiring all guests to dress in formal wear is too much. What difference does it make if I wear a suit or a tux to your wedding? Of course cost might also be an issue. I have never been invited to a black-tie only wedding. I would probably still attend, but I would complain and think it is silly and pretentious.
2007-03-29 12:04:03 · answer #2 · answered by Adoptive Father 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My only guess would be that these days, unlike days of old, many men dont own tuxedos, thus they would have to go rent them. And many women dont attend alot of gala affairs where they would have a few gowns to choose from in their closets, so they would have to go buy one and chances are more than good that it wouldnt ever be worn again. So right there some people feel they are expected to spend additional money on someones wedding that they could be spending somewhere else, not to mention, they could wear a suit and tie or formal cocktail dress and look just as nice as they would in formal attire.
That would be my guess. I've never been invited to a black tie wedding before, so I dont know how I would exactly feel. But I can say this, if I ever got an invitation like this, I would almost immediately dread the headache I would get from the fight of getting my husband to the tix shop to get measured and pick a tux. That, seriously, might be enough to get me to rsvp no.
2007-03-29 09:50:04 · answer #3 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guests will be mad. They might not call you and yell at you, but they'll be mad nonetheless. And quite a few of them won't come in black tie attire. And what does your bridesmaid care what the invitation says? She'll be in black tie attire anyway.
Black tie attire means that all the male guests are expected to come in tuxedos. All of the female guests are expected to come in evening gowns. Considering that most people don't just have tuxedos and evening gowns in their closets, then they will have to go out and buy these outfits just for your wedding. That's a lot to ask of people.
If you're content to have people wearing suits and nice outfits, then don't specify a dress code at all. If you really want your guests to have to go out and spend this extra money for evening formal wear, then put black tie. But don't expect people to be happy about it.
2007-03-29 10:22:46 · answer #4 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not understand why anyone would want to question anyone who requests a dress code for a wedding. The wedding is for the couple and not for the guest. Anyone who is a real friend would understand this and say sure I will want to see you get married. They have to understand that that means that there will be family and friends that would not understand someone showing in jeans etc.. They have to realize that getting married is supposed to be a very special event. When,(if), those complaining about the dress code get married they can do it differently. If I had a wedding and someone said that they would not show up if they had to wear a suit. I would have to say fine. I will have my wedding my way with or with out them. They could not be a real friend anyway, So I would not care!
2007-03-29 04:42:45 · answer #5 · answered by orcarius 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
many men do not like dressing up. many men do not look good in a tux, either. Most men hate shopping for clothes, much less having things measured and altered and fitted. And , as pointed out above, many guys dont own a suit. So a lot of show up looking terrible, in uncomfortable clothes. Bridezilla? no. But please consider the effects that such stipulations may have on the other people involved
2007-03-29 01:40:45 · answer #6 · answered by dr schmitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have no problem with it and don't know why others would either my only question is and still is what if people cant afford it for what ever reason some people don't have the money to go to a wedding rent a room at a hotel by a gift and rent a tux or by a gowned but i guess they don't have to go and they can just send a gift but if its the kind of wedding you want then i say go for it!
2007-03-29 01:34:58 · answer #7 · answered by peterpansdate 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will be putting "Smart Casual" NO JEANS on my invites when I get married I went to a wedding that the bridal party well the girls all got changed in black pants and tops for the reception it drove me crazy its your wedding you are entitled to have it your way
2007-03-29 02:13:17 · answer #8 · answered by wilo_chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't want to come to a formal wedding and dress properly, just don't go. Send a gift and wish them well. That solves the problem. Our society has gotten to lax in etiquette and dress.
2007-03-29 01:52:20 · answer #9 · answered by Pat C 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Because most people have no problem with semi-formal dress, because that is easy to handle. Formal is too over the top.
2007-03-29 07:43:41 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋