Follow him or my gut?

Question

hey, i live with my bf of 1 year and he has changed. He used to be a sweetheart, and well now he is someone i dont know, we never have sex anymore, if we do its a poke for him. I just dont feel it anymore, i love him as a friend and care for him, i just dont wanna break him heart. My gut is screaming at me to move out, and leave this small hick town...but should i stick it out and work it out with him?, and yes i have talked to him about it 100 times..when i talk about leaving he crys

Answer 1

Follow your gut. You're not happy so, why waste any more time? You're already mentally checked out so, it's time for your body to follow your mind. Yes, he'll be upset. That's what happens in a breakup but, you're not being fair to him or yourself by staying if you're not happy. You have instincts for a reason, use them.

Answer 2

Break ups hurt and they are not meant to be an easy task to do. If you are not happy and you wait longer to leave it is only going to get harder. It will get worse and you will be two seperate people living together and won't even know each other.
You can either follow your gut and move out and leave or you can try and make an attempt to rekindle your relationship and see if there is any spark there or if he could make some changes. People tend to get comfortable in relationships after a certain period of time. That is normally their true colors and what you have to expect for the next couple of years.
I would think about making sure the fire is completely put out on your end before you follow your gut. It may not take long, but if you feel you need to leave don't wait to do it for the fact that it will hurt him. You will only stay longer and never end up leaving.

Answer 3

Leave, take it from a person that stayed. Follow your gut, giving a year to see change then it turns into another and then another, you try marriage. That just makes it worse. No I am not just jaded, but I have seen so many unhappy women in my situation and the longer you stay, the harder to break away. Best of luck.

Answer 4

you are probably just feeling a little restless with your life because things haven't turned out the way that you thought they would have. don't make any irreversable changes right now. it may be a good idea to move out, but just get your own seperate apartment. tell him that you need space. stay in the town for a while, you may find that having your own place/space was all you needed, then take it from there.

Answer 5

I would say to try and ignore his emotional little break down when you tell him you want to leave... I think he might just do it because he thinks he can control you with that.

Just pull the trigger. If you are not happy, you should go for things that will make you happy. Sometimes you just gotta be a little selfish.

Good luck, girl!! :)

Answer 6

follow your gut. it seems like you might be hanging on to something that isnt there. if the sex goes in a relationship i think its in trouble. not because sex is the all important thing, but because sex equals intimacy. when you lose intimacy the relationship is doomed.

also in my experience the gut never lies. it forces you to make tough choices sometimes that dont seem right at the time. but in retrospect they were always right. i think you know inside what you have to do. i think you should do that.

Answer 7

Wow it seems like your gut wants to do 2 things to me. Since when does sex determine a relationship you like him only for that? then YES get out!

Answer 8

in the journey that your gut feeling is often sturdy, then decide for it. while you're often approximately 50% appropriate or much less approximately your gut feeling, then i could wait it out awhile to work out the end result.

Answer 9

What do you Need? if this is not what you need you have to decide to leave. Its hard and terrible, but what can you do, be unhappy the rest of your life? Ask yourslef do I need this and do i need that and what does he need and did I provide that to him and if I didn't can i do it in future for him or someone else? What do I really need? Ask and ye shall recieve. Take care Heather

Answer 10

physical attraction does't lasts long,which appeared u as a change in yr bf,u r mistaken one who live the company of heart seldom changes,since both of u just lived in the company of yr mind,so the relations r at the verge of breaking,before it take another ugly turn,better move out and sit in the company of yr heart only,take its command only.