Should I take this opprotunity - or gather my pieces?

Question

I just broke up with someone that I went out with for a few years a couple of weeks ago. I miss him a great deal. As luck would have it - a fellow I find attractive and half-way charming has been flirting with me. Here's the rub - I have been asked out like 5 times in the last 20 years. I cant seem to decide if this new fellow asks me out, if I should say yes, or if I should get over the last one before preceeding in a new direction. The fact of the matter is that I want to deal with some issues that were problems in the last relationship (as in, with a therapist) so that I dont make the same mistakes. However, on the other hand, I dont want to let a rare opprotunity slip by....
Any advice?

Answer 1

You seem like a very insightful smart person. I think you have all the answers you need if you really think about it. You can maybe scope him out or go on a few dates that are just for enjoyment, preferably out of eachother's house. Go out and then don't go up to his house or yours after...just so you don't have any pressure to do anything more than just spend some time to feel each other out. If you like what you see and feel, then go for it. I think it's all up to you and I'm sure you'll have plenty opportunities if you should choose to wait.

Answer 2

Hmm...this is a tough one. I respect your decision to take the initiative to WANT to change--that's usually the hardest step!

Let the new interest know the basics of what you're going though...too much info might scare him off. Just let him know you've just gotten out of a long term relationship and you want to wait a while before jumping headfirst into another one. Let him know you're interested, but not ready for anything more than a friendship at the moment.

If he's a true gentleman and he's worth waiting for, he'll respect that. If not, it's his loss.

In the meantime, if the opportunity passes and you never got a chance, at least you'll be better off having solved the problems within yourself that you think might impede future relationships.

Answer 3

Believe it or not, you have just answered your own question. What you need to do is take some time for yourself alone to get past the last relationship. If you want to continue to be friends with this new guy, then go ahead. But i wouldn't jump right into something with him only for the fact that you've just recently gotten out of a relationship with some one else and you dont want to carry any kind of burden into your new relationship. If the new guy is true, he will understand, and will wait until you 've had time to sort things out.

Answer 4

Dont make the mistake I did
I moved straight onto another relationship from a 3 year relationship and wasnt able to have closure with my past relationship. Now I am having emotional problems with this new guy who I thought was perfect. Basically, in a nutshell, I still love my ex and I cant love 2 people at once... So its creating problems with my current boyfriend (I broke up with my ex over a year ago)
Good luck honey and be strong

Answer 5

Take it slowly, and be patient. You can do both simultaneously, provided you pace yourself. Be friends with this new guy, for now; if he asks to go further, be honest and explain that you still have some things to work out before you can go with him. If he really likes you, he'll wait; if not, maybe you're better off. But like I said, be patient.

Answer 6

Of course go out and have a good time. Going out doesn't mean that you have to jump into any kind of commitment right away! Just go out as friends and try to have fun, that's all.

Answer 7

ya GO FOR IT BABY. YOUR GETTING OLDER BY THE DAY JUST TO SAY.DON'T EVER PASS UP A GOOD THING. YOUR HEART WILL TELL YOU