About 2 years ago I called the Abuse Hotline because I believed my nephew was being neglected. The police went to the house and determined that the neglect wasn't bad enough to do anything. My family hasn't spoken to me since. Then my mom calls last week and acts like nothing happened. Afer 2 years I finally got used to being without them! I still believe I did the right thing. If my nephew is injured again, someone will take notice. So my mom has been calling and inviting me to lunch, but she hasn't apologised for treating me so badly and I still haven't heard from my brothers or sisters. I am very uncomfortable speaking to her. We have never had anything in common and it just seems weird.
Should I bring it up ask her why they didn't support my decision? I mostly want to know why shes calling now, 2 years later and rocking the boat. My life is good now without all the stupid drama and gossip.
2007-03-28 18:08:01 · 6 answers · asked by scrappyscrapper123 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I should have mentioned that she has put me down all my life and never has a nice thing to say to me. The call I referred to she asked me what I was doing for work and I replied I had helped 8 children get adopted this year. She says oh well your brothers and sisters are making more money than god now, when are you going to catch up? And I'm thinking never. (I'm a child advocate so I'll prob never make more than 30k w/my college education) I'm on the defensive with her and although their behavior hurt my feelings terribly and I missed them soo much it was nice to have a break from her for awhile.
2007-03-28 18:48:34 · update #1
If you dont want to be exposed to abuse you have the right to maintain that kind of life away from them. You might go to lunch with her and see if anything has changed. If not then continue living without them.
2007-03-28 20:54:58 · answer #1 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What ever happened in the past, let it be the past. Maybe she wants to take you to lunch so she can apologize to you personally. Of course you did the right thing, but you have to face it, the police didn't find anything wrong going on with your nephew.
And you probably won't hear from your brothers or sisters either until all of you come together and talk this out with eachother. Enough of holding some grudges against your mom. She is reaching out to you now, so accept the invitation to meet with her to see what she has to say to you.
All you have to do is listen to her and be polite. Do not bring it up about why she didn't support your decision. That was the past, now is the future. You are not going to know why she is calling until you talk to her in person. That's all you have to do is listen, but you don't have to keep seeing her, that's your choice.
2007-03-28 18:53:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know where you are coming from there with the mother bit.. i try to call my mom at least once a week, we live in different states and it seems like she is spending a lot more time with my brother that she ever use to. this last year she found out she had colon cancer, went into the hospital, had surgery, and then decided to write to my sister and I 1 and 1/2 months after the surgery to let us know about it. her excuse was she didn't think we could afford to go to her. she really doesn't know my sister and i very well, where there is a will there is a way! yes i would ask her why she is calling now after all this time and see what she has to say....just to be curious.
my mom can't call me cause she lives in a hotel, and cannot afford the calls, yet when my sister sent her a phone card so she could call us, she used the damn thing to try and find one of my brothers, instead of calling us. she use to try and get my sister and i to hate each other by telling us something she said the other one said, then she would leave town.
oh well, she has what she wants her sons all live right by her, as a matter of fact my 36 yr. old brother is still living with her.. has not held down a job in his life, and has become a hermit..refusing to talk to anyone even my mother. though he is the one who took care of her after her surgery. but i would ask her why after 2 yrs. she wants to be with me again. cannot hurt to ask the woman and see what she says...
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
2007-03-28 18:28:27 · answer #3 · answered by myninny54 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who cares WHY she's calling...at least she's calling, which is more than what my family would do. You did the right thing, and if it's a pat on the back you're looking for, then here ya go. Otherwise, forget about what happened 2 years ago and let these words ring in your ears the way they ring in mine (which is constantly!!)...."there is nothing you can say to her once she's gone" She's your mother, like it or not. You may be fine ignoring her right now, but imagine the guilt you'll feel if anything should happen to her & you never gave her a chance to make things right. She's reaching out to you....just accept her half-hearted apology and get over it already!!
2007-03-28 18:29:20 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go out for lunch with her and just try to have a civil conversation with her and figure out why she didn't support you during that time. You did the right thing. If you think a child is being abused, even by a loved one, calling the authorities is always the right step. If they can't forgive you for doing the right thing, then they're not worth your time. But at least give your mom a chance to explain herself. Good luck!
2007-03-28 18:38:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever think that maybe that's WHY she wants to take you to lunch. Apologizing or talking about it over the phone just isnt the same
2007-03-28 18:16:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋