The effects of abortion?

Question

I know that it effects the woman extremely before during and afterwards and even years later.
But what i would like to know is whether it has any effect on the man, does he ever think about it years later does he have any regrets once it has been done. (PS: he does know from the start and is even paying for the abortion)
Keep in mind that both parties doesnt even consider having the baby and both are equally happy to have the abortion.

Alot of you guys asked me about adoption
I would never even consider it becuase im white and living in south africa and becuase my baby will be white as well he/she will never get adopted because they rather give the black babies up for adoption than the white babies that is why many white south african goes to another country to adopt a white baby so i wont let my child be living with parents for the rest of his life.
And currently i know im not able to be a parent im still young (22) and me and mt bf wont be able to support a child financially

Alot of you guys asked me about adoption
I would never even consider it becuase im white and living in south africa and becuase my baby will be white as well he/she will never get adopted because they rather give the black babies up for adoption than the white babies that is why many white south african goes to another country to adopt a white baby so i wont let my child be living without parents for the rest of his life.
And currently i know im not able to be a parent im still young (22) and me and mt bf wont be able to support a child financially

Answer 1

I think it depends on the men. I had an abortion from my 1st boyfriend and I went through misery during years and years. It still affects me a lot. He wished to forget it as soon as possible. Years later I met him again and asked him if he ever thought about our unborn child. "of course I do", said he, with tears in his eyes. So, he did feel. The fear and panic was just too much at the time. Now, my actual boyfriend and father of my unborn baby girl had a girlfriend once who had an abortion I do believe he never thinks about it. Also, his ex-wife got pregnant, both decided did not want another child and she aborted. I do believe he did not have any regrets from this one. When I got pregnant he did not want this child, too, but for me it wasn't an option. I would never do it again. I think it really depends on the circumstances, the kind of relationship, etc. And my boyfriend IS the best father I know to his only son, and is very tender with his unborn daughter. But no, men don't feel it as we do.

Answer 2

My partner felt alot of pain about the abortion we went through together. In the days before hand, he was very offhand with it and seemed like it didnt matter what was about toh appen, which made me think he didnt care at all. Then after the procedure was over, he confessed to me how worried he was and was only being strong so that I didnt break down. He does worry still and its coming up to the date that the child would have been born and we are both feeling alot of pain right now. I know that doesnt really answer your question, but I thought it might give some sort of feedback

ALSO - billieju, I had an abortion at age 15 from a rape. Then September last year, I fell pregnant again, 6 years later AND being on the pill... Abortion did not ruin the chance for me to have children and does this make me a BAD person? You need to understand that accidents DO happen

Answer 3

I have never had an abortion and never would have one, but I have had a couple of friends that have. Both were extremely depressed for about a year or so and one of them wishes that she had never done it. I am not sure of the affects on him. It is just going to depend on how he really feels about it and his personality.

But this is my question to you. Why not adoption? There are so many people out there that can not have a baby and would give anything to be in your situation. You could give your baby a life with a couple that would die for him/her and would love him/her and provide them with a future. You could do a private adoption were you would pick the couple yourself and you could choose the amount of contact you would like (none, pictures once a year or even open where you can see the baby). The adopting couple would pay for everything. All medical care before and after, and anything that you may need. Some will even pay for housing if you need it. There are soooo many good people that have been waiting for years to adopt a child. I just don't understand why more people don't use this option.

Good Luck to you, I know that this must be a really difficult decision for both of you.

EDIT*** I can understand why you wouldn't want to adopt your baby out there, BUT have you thought about contacting an adoption agency in the states. I bet you could find a family here that would still be willing to pay for everything and would come there to adopt the baby - just a thought... but I do understand your concerns now....***

Answer 4

Well I am 99% against abortion. All babies wether they are black white brown green red, are adopted to good families fast. If you do plan on going through an abortion not only is it killing your baby, but it may be killing your chances of conciving when you are ready. I dont like the fact that most young people use the "ABORTION" as a form birth control. You need to take more responsability for your actions. And if your so worried about "YOUR" baby growing up without a family, why doenst it bother you that your killing it? I think I would feel worse knowing I killed a baby, rather than give it a chance and live a better life..

Answer 5

A man may not let you know his feelings, but I know the death of a child, especially by your own choice will forever change him, and you. I know you think you are happy with your choice now, but let me tell you a story. My sister had an abortion several years back, and I could have talked her out of it, but I thought it was non of my business. That decision turned her life upside down. She will never forgive herself,and she has major mental probs from it. She can't talk about it without crying. She knows she went against Gods plan for that child and thank God Jesus died on the cross for our sins, because knowing this comforts her now. She was 30yrs old when she made that decision. I hope you think and pray before you do this life changing event. If you don't want the baby, give someone else the chance to have, and raise a child.

Answer 6

well i am speaking from personal experience, from what i saw my husband, who was my boyfriend at the time went through. we both decided that it would be best to have an abortion cuz neither of us was ready to have a baby, even though we had thought we wanted to keep it, or at least thats how i felt and he might have just been going with what i said i wanted, im not really sure and thats one thing you should make sure you are 100%sure of is that you both are on the same page and being completely honest with each other because otherwise something like this could pull you apart if one of you didnt really want to go thru with it. ok back to your question, its been almost two years since we had the abortion and i have seen him cry when he thought about his child that will never be born. in fact he was incredibly depressed for a really long time after, and i know he felt like he couldnt talk about it with me, so yah, guys most definitly can regret it just as much as us girls can, and i think its worse for them in some ways, cuz they are expected to be strong about it.

Answer 7

I think it depends on the man. And do you know how abortions are performed that is the question i would ask. My husband would be totally affected by it. But then again he doesn't believe in it really but would be supportive to a friend who has gone and done it. been there already.For me it isn't an option. though.

Answer 8

One of my guy friends had a (now ex) girlfriend who had an abortion. He begged her not to have it done, told her he would rais the baby...but she did it anyway. He became very depressed and had a hard time dealing with it. It took him about a year to "get over it" He gave the baby a name and birthdate..and he still celebrates his birthday every year.

Answer 9

my opinion is that it doesn''t effect the man the same. it is never really real for him and easier forgotten.

Answer 10

you can look it up online

planned parent hood . org