help??????

Question

im getting married in 6months and have hardly any plans made. ive got the basics, church reception etc but am feeling very overwhelmed.
im paying for everything. my family is a poor one but have offered to help me where they can but my partners family dont offer at all.
everytime i ask for their opinions on something they just shrug smile and say dunno. what is that all about??
my partner is only semi interested in this wedding and unless i hassle him takes forever to get him to help. it took him 3 months to decide on a best man!
i feel im doing everything and everyone else just wants to show up when its all done... how do i get help with this without seeming rude or like a bridezilla?

how do i do this cheaply so i dont end up broke?

and has anyone had problems like this with their inlaws?
( when i planned the engagement party they just showed up on the night and handed my parents 5o bucks to go on the bar.my parents paid for everything that night, cake decos etc)

i live in australia and would prefer to order online but not overseas as i have had alot of trouble there.

Answer 1

It seems like no one cares much about this wedding except for you... so why go broke on it? Believe me, no one except the bride and maybe her mother care about decorations and favours and all the expensive unnecessary items most brides think they 'must have'.

Scale the whole thing down... all you really need for a wedding is a bride, a groom, a license, and an officiant! You've already got more than that.. so relax! Don't get anything more than you can afford, don't go into debt to impress people (it doesn't work anyway!). Keep things as simple as possible and spend what money you have where it would be most appreciated - from the sound of the inlaws what they'd like best is to not run out of beer!

Good luck with the wedding!

Answer 2

www.theknot.com

That is where my daughter went to get everything organized for her wedding. They have check lists that you can use so you don't forget anything. Unfortunately, I am the poor parent who can barely afford to financially help her with anything. It was like pulling teeth for her to get her other half to help her make decisions. Her bridesmaids seem to be wanting to hide in the background until the wedding day as well. She has made her own flowers-bridal bouquet and bridesmaids', the boutonnieres for the groomsmen, fathers, ushers, the ring bearer pillow and the flower girl's basket and has pretty much everything all set...thanks to the list and a lot of hard work. I would suggest not putting anything off a moment longer. With only 6 months to go, organization is the key. And tell your bridesmaid(s) that if she/they cannot find the time to do their part and help you out that maybe you will just find a new one that will! Good luck sweetie!

Answer 3

Meet with your bridesmaids! They are going to have to step up to the plate. Plan a pot luck night at your house and have a brain-storming party. Usually when you get people together, they always know people or have ideas. Delegate! Give people specific responsibilities. Keep it all organized in a planner as to who is doing what and check on their status. Have another dinner in a month and see where ou are. Make the second get-together the one that you all make the party favors or centerpieces. There are soo many ideas for cool centerpieces that can be affordable! Like having goldfish in a bowl or fresh cut flowers from a friends lilac tree... I once bought a package of 12 plain clear dessert plates from Walmart, 12 short pillar candles and then sprinkled around the candle with that fake snow.... it looked beautiful..and it was inexpensive. You could sprinkle anything around the center candle.....glitter, confetti, candy, silk rose petals, go to the craft store and get ideas! Pastel M&M's are out....go buy a bunch and freeze them. Wrap in tulle with ribbon and you've got your favors....or you can buy matchoxes with your name and date on them from where you got your invitations and you can put candy in those. Don't forget the disposable cameras for the table. It keeps guest entertained and you'll enjoy the pics. Instead of a guest book, have guests sign around the matte of a picture frame .
Hire a friend to take the pics, buy rolls of film at a wholesale store.
As far as the in-laws...get specific with them. Get the costs of what you need and sit down with them and ask if they can help in anyway. Let your fiance do the talking if your more comfortable. Sometimes you just have to be direct. But not too direct. The time before a wedding can be very emotional. But don't worry...the simplest weddings are always the ones that are more intimate and your guests will love it. Need any specific ideas?

Answer 4

Stop asking the inlaws for advice. You're paying, not them. You're planning, not them. You don't need their input. It's your wedding, not theirs...its fine for them to just shrug and smile. In fact, it's preferable to the take-charge inlaws that you'll hear about on these boards.

And fiances are generally only semi-interested in wedding planning. Tell him you're stressed and need help. Don't whine about it. But he's the right guy for you, then he should help you when you need it. Especially if you come right out and request it. It would work best if you had specific things you want his help with. Instead of a blanket "I need help!" say "I could really use your help. Would you please meet with the DJ and select a song list?"

But if money is a serious concern, and if everyone's lack of enthusiasm is getting you down, then rearrange your plans and elope instead. It will be much cheaper, and you'll probably end up much happier!

Answer 5

You seem a little overwelmed. Are you the only one that wants a big wedding? Maybe you can scale back some of your ideas.Traditionally, the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner and the flowers. All other expenses are paid by the bride's family.Look at this site to give you some guidence.
http://www.weddingchannel.com

Answer 6

My situation is backwards. My parents havent helped me out at all, and my future parents are paying for the reception and the cake. They have made the flowers and his mother is going to set up the reception area. I know how you feel. I wish my parents would be more partaking in this event,,,u know their own daughter is getting married. I am not just talking financially, I am talking getting excited about my big day..

Answer 7

Well, try ordering stuff online. a good site to try is orientaltrading.com
they have a lot of stuff for cheap. i'm making my own invitations as well. or try ebay. my significant other isn't in the least bit interested in helping me plan our wedding, so i'm all on my own as well. good luck.

Answer 8

something tells me you gotta talk to your bf (fiance). he ought to be helping you as best he can also! are you communicating well with him? perhaps he is not ready actually and feels rushed? did you pressure him into marriage? please set time to talk everything out with your bf. he ought to know you're stressed and he ought to think and plan with you too. it's NOT a one-sided thing and you don't need to let it be one-sided. when you set this straight, and he's willing to work with you (see that he does things spontaneously or ask him to consider doing things spontaneously), you two can happily plan your wedding TOGETHER!!! gd luck...