My brother has been really not respectful of me or my kids. He is very overpowering. I had told him that he was out of our lives until he can show us repsect. I didn't talk to him and finally he starts making contact.
He called today and talked non stop about his life this. His job this and talked about himself (as usual.. but worse). He metioned that he was hurt that I didnt' wish him a happy birthday. I told him not to take it personally and he went on about it. I said "I'm sorry if you had hurt feelings'. He laughed and said he is more hurt that I think he bullies me. I told him that he does hurt my feelings. Then he cuts it off and annoucnes that we are not talking about it anymore. We will deal with it by moving on. Then said, 'Oh I'm home. I gotta go! I just drove up to the house. I am home.'
I feel so overpowered around him. that conversation too. He controlled the WHOLE conversation. I had no say in anything. Would you feel upset too?
2007-03-28 16:38:59 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think i would get really upset because of how he can control things like that. I think that next time he does that say you are busy and cut him off.
2007-03-28 16:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
The only person that allows ourselves to be overpowered by someone else, is OURSELVES! I'm not sure what the problem is in the conversation or why you feel upset with that conversation. He was just talking! What was wrong with this conversation? Him talking too much!? Maybe he does talk too much, but maybe that is just the way he is. If you feel overpowered, you may be feeling something that isn't necassary. Or if things went on in your childhood, maybe you are reacting to that, instead of the present. Personally, I would not be offended by this conversation if it was my brother.
2007-03-28 17:12:52 · answer #2 · answered by Ikeg 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay I answered you other question too, but now I know more about what you were referring to. He sounds like he has a playful personality and he might really be sorry you feel that way. If he cut you off too soon, maybe write him an email or leave him a voicemail, spill the beans. He will listen. Some people just don't have patience to argue. If he sees you put in an effort to tell him how you feel , he will know just how serious you are.
2007-03-28 16:50:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
On the one hand, kudos to your brother for reaching out to you. Obviously, he still cares about you and wanted to reach out. The next time you speak to your brother you have to assert yourself and bring up the subject of his treatment of you and your children. Ask him whether he feels that he has changed his ways and is able to have contact with you in a civilized manner. Tell him that you just want to put everything on the table and clear the air. Obviously, your brother is controlling and a different personality type than yourself, but you have to speak up and stop allowing him to run all over you. It is only then that you will be able to have a healthy normal sibling relationship.
2007-03-28 16:49:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel the same way with my brother i finally took control and talked over him or said either we can not talk at all or you can shut up and actually listen to me when i have something to say you are not the only person with feelings and thoughts that shuts him up for a minute til i can say what i want it may be over the top and a little rude but damnit we cant always give in to our big brothers can we? by the way mine says he is a better parent than me since im overprotective and hes been to prison twice and is an alcoholic!!! sometimes ppl are blind to their own faults
2007-03-28 17:07:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call your brother once a week or so. Talk to him a few minutes (about himself if that is his preference). He doesn't feel loved or valued by you and is trying to make you care for him. My brother died 17 October 2006 and I miss him daily and wish I could talk to him just one more time.
How would you feel if your brother died? If he were dead what would you do or say differently? Life is too short to be caught up in such petty differences. Laugh and learn as if you will live forever. Live and love as if you will die tomorrow.
2007-03-28 17:00:06 · answer #6 · answered by joker_32605 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my brother behaves this way I say "Why are you behaving this way?" or "I can't speak to you if your going to behave this way" or "Your behavior is hurting my feelings". If you point out that it is the behavior and not the person it's easier. Also, my brother doesn't realize he's doing it, so If I don't point it out he'll run all over me. Usually there is a pause, he apologizes and then he's less aggressive.
2007-03-28 18:31:11 · answer #7 · answered by scrappyscrapper123 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have problems with my sister the same way. She attacks my children .AND she is younger and i wasnt invited to her wedding. she has been a bully too. THIS is how i deal with them. I just let them contact me now. I do send my mom a gift a xmas but i refuse to fight with them.---JUST go on with your life make something of your self and they will come looking. BUT TELL THEM to be respectful. 0x 0xx0x 0xx 0x, star
2007-03-28 16:48:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him he is a self-centered "you know what" and if he cant be more considerate he can go "you know where"
dont be a victim...by you putting up with his BS you are enabling him to victimize you....stand up for yourself. besides what kind of example are you setting for your kids, by allowing him to walk all over you?
2007-03-28 16:50:31 · answer #9 · answered by Evie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no i wouldnt, for that he is my brother. you should learn to let things go and not hold grudges. just look at it your being the bigger person.
2007-03-28 16:46:07 · answer #10 · answered by anthony y 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋