How to handle family members that are overpowering?

Question

Really outgoing. Really strong personality. WHere you feel that your power is taken away around them and that they are in control of the conversation, how you get treated, etc.... How to handle these family memebers that are overpowering?

Answer 1

Take back some of your power. Sounds like a huge task, but it really isn't. Don't respond to them so much. If these are inlaws, be careful--if your own family, you can be a little more aggressive.

Also, take the opportunity to organize get togethers at your own home, where you feel like you're in your own territory. Also, feel free to be the outgoing one. You can do it!

Answer 2

I married in to a family like that! My husband is a big (physically and socially) guy, and his whole family has huge personalities; it's like a competition to see who can be the center of attention every Thanksgiving.

I, too, am a control freak, but in a totally toned down, muted kind of way. So I like to have the power back from people who will wrench it from you and make you feel (however inadvertantly) like you don't matter or aren't important.

When my husband starts to act up, I just ignore him. Or, if I'm feeling a little confrontational (say, it's been going on for a while and I'm sick of it), I'll just out-and-out tell him that he's railroading me, running me over, and he should cut it out unless he wants me to treat him the same way. I've lucked out on that front; Hubby realizes that he can be a steamroller, and will almost always back off.

But I don't get like that with the rest of his family. I don't let any of them treat me poorly, though; my best line of defense is to be firm, but not loud, and, if it gets to be too much, do like the first answer says: walk away. Go to the kitchen and make a pot of coffee, or go to the spare room and fiddle in your suitcase, or something. A lot of people who have big personalities just don't "get" people who don't, or people who are offended by them. Hubby's best line is always, "What's YOUR problem?". Uh, you are, you lummox. Shut up. :)

Deal as best you can. Keep the peace, if that's what needs to be done. Good luck!

Answer 3

Hon, people are only overpowering you only IFYOU LET THEM! It's amazing how that works. People that are overpowering are that way because others have allowed them to take their power. Same with you, you are allowing them to take your power away. I have a sister that likes to be that way. You either walk away if they want to argue, if they insist on their way, then walk away again! Refuse to argue with them about any thing. It takes two to argue, but only one to stop. If you walk away, they have nothing to argue with them. When in a conversation and they aren't allowing you in the conversation, interrupt and say "may I say something" and let your voice be heard. Sometimes it's easier to set back and allow them to do all the talking, then it is to confront their behavior, by being assertive and take some of the control back.

Answer 4

Well Thats kind of hard. I have a few family members like that. The only way I earn their respect is when I let them know that I want it. If you want respect you can't let them walk all over you. Tell them how you feel, be direct, don't cry of all things Dont cry. lol That just makes it worse. When they snap or inerrupt you, let them know right away, it lets them know you are not one to play with. They respect people who can stand up for themselves, not people who can't confront them with their issues. If they get upset for you saying something, its okay. They will get over it and most likely treat you differently.

Answer 5

As a guy whose father beats him, I can tell you the best way to handle that is by taking out your frustration somewhere else. I would suggest boxing as a hobby, but most people arein't into that.

You can still go a few rounds on a bag at the gym. It helps.

And the first answer was good.

Answer 6

i have one in my family and what you need to do is don't let that person over power you by knowing when to walk away! if you have arguments and you know it's going to turn around and end up being your fault when it was their fault get out of the fight before that happens! like when they turn the tables on you just say end of conversation and go to your room or leave the house somewhere where they can't get to you! if it gets too bad i would think about moving beacuse those kind of people can drive you nuts! i know!!

Answer 7

you mean, all the "nagging"? girl, you have to remember that it is the responsibility of the parents to remind us if we did something wrong. just don't overdo it. if you think they are running the show for you, and you think you're right and they just didn't recognize it, maybe it's time to call a conference within the family and be open about what you feel. avoid self-pity. there must be some misunderstanding but it will be taken cared of.

Answer 8

Hi Mommy, stand up to them and let your voice be heard!!!!! They will try to drown you out at first but just get louder and louder sooner then later they will realize your voice counts and you are part of them even if they don't like it!! I know I have two sisters just like that and after years of not being heard they now realize I am a force to be reckoned with!!!!!

Answer 9

You have to understand and use your own power. People only push you as far as they can. Obviously, you can be pushed pretty far. My suggestion - learn to be assertive, confident and strong. You have your own voice and are worthy of the same respect that your other family members receive.

Answer 10

Do the opposite, say "I'm not going to get into this" and walk away. They can't STAND that and don't know how to respond.