please read this....?

Question

hey i dont know what can i say! i'm 20years old and im engaged.. im be with my fiancee for almost 2yrs.. everything went too many problem.. between my mom and his parents is against eachother..my mom don't like his parents because his dad is do something are bad to lil girl be4... and plus his mom are drinking person.. they say my mom is not know nothing.. my mom talk to cop be4 and cop told her that abt his file... she want me break up with my fiancee.but i not going break up with my fiancee! i really love him alots i know what im doing... i not going let his dad going bad happend to me. my mom is really sick.. and she told me if i see my fiancee she will kick me out and not let me see her and talk to her ever again!... can you please help me..im so stress over a months! i don't know what can i do.. and remember that i not going break up with my fiancee. i really love him so much. me and him are very happy together... and great couple.. we love eachother very much... thank u 4 helpin

im sorry about my typing.. i was fed up and these words are limit i trying type more but it's limit... and my mom will not ever talk to me and wont let me see her no more.. trust me she wont...but i really love my fiancee.. and i wanna be with him..... what can i do? :(

but if im leaving and kick out and my mom is very sick her healthy is are not very good! im worry about her and i love her alots and i love my fiancee alots... i dont know what i can i do. i feel my heart is hurt and im so stress! :( thank u very much!

Answer 1

You mention that your mother has problems with your fiance's dad who has a police record because he touched little girls before. Try to see this from your mother's perspective. She could be very worried that his dad will do other things also...maybe to your kids one day. Admit to her that you understand her concern, and not only that but you appreciate it. Tell her you know she cares deeply for you and her future and that you love her even more for it.

Secondly, tell your fiance about your concerns as well. See what he has to say about his own parents. If he is really defensive with you about issues with his parents then that indicates some ignorance on his part. Many people have issues with people who take issue with their family. In this circumstance it is crucial that you have open, unhindered dialogue not only between the two of you, but also between your fiance and your parents.

If your fiance is unwilling to talk much about his parents problems than that is an indication of future conflict between the two of you. If he's open and honest about things then there is hope. Your mother is right to worry. Ask your fiance if he would ever worry about his parents creating conflict in your lives together. If you know there are issues the two of you can brainstorm and come up with some ideas together, and if you make your mother feel like she is a part of the answer she will be much more willing to see your future with your current fiance succeed.

On the other hand maybe your mother is right and you shouldn't get married. If you are really honest with yourself you know often times love is blind. Sometimes we can't see the forest of problems before us because we are focused on a specific tree. Realize this and take time with your decision. It would also be wise to seek some counseling, and if money is a problem find a religious place that will give it for free...just to see what someone outside your situation thinks.

Remember a decision to stay with your fiance could mean peace in your heart now at a sacrifice of future pain and conflict later. And, if you stay with him and his parents problems do not live within him just be cautious of his parents influence on your future children and make sure your fiance is aware of your concerns and is behind them. ( I hope it all works out.)

Answer 2

Actually, if you are still living at home, you are under your parents rules. If you do not want to live by their rules, then move out. From the way you sound, you may have a learning disability, and I would think strong and hard about going against your parents. You only have one set of parents. No matter how bad they are or aren't, you only have them. When they are gone, they won't be back. You can always be engaged to others, and if you choose not to be, then that is your choice. I was molested by someone when I was younger, and I am agreeing with your parents about his dad, if he starts something with you, you may say no, but he is stronger than you are, and won't try any thing when any one is around, so again, I'd think very long about how YOU treat your parents. They only have your best interest at heart. If he has been in jail and has a record, again, I would wonder if he was going to be doing things that would get him in trouble again after you get married. He may say he won't now! That is a good trick to get you in bed with him, to marry him and then do what ever he wants to after the wedding. Honey, be careful! It doesn't sound like a safe and secure inviroment for you at all! So do what you want, as I know you will, but please be safe!

Answer 3

Your mom is just being a Mom. She is concerned about your well being. And if this is your fiance, I'm assuminng you will want to have children one day...have you thought about bringing a child into that environment? Especially if he has done "something bad" to a lil girl? That could be another thing your mother is worried about. Maybe you need to sit and have a real talk with her, no fighting, no yelling, just talk. And maybe you will understand where she is coming from. No relationship is perfect, and from what I have seen there will always be conflicts here and there, but from what you say about his parents, it doesn't sound like anything that's going to blow over anytime soon.

And if you were not planning on having kids, I guess go for it!

Answer 4

Moms will never TRULY kick you out of their life again. The are too loving and care about you too much..another reason they want you to leave your fiance'. She believes it is best for you, but you have to make that descision.

IMO, I believe you only find your true love once in a lifetime.
Moms will always be there..but he'syour once in a lifetime-chance.

Things will fall together:)
Stay strong and good luck.

Answer 5

I don't think you should break up with him because your mom don't like him because your the one that has to live with him not her and as long as he is faithful and honest with you and treats you right then why shouldn't you marry him. It will be hard in the beginning but as time goes on your mom will eventually expect him. Good luck and be strong it your decision not her.

Answer 6

OK your typing was a little hard to do but i think i understand enough to tell you that YOU have to live with your decision to marry this person not your mom or dad or sister(s) or brother(s) i would listen to what they have to say but fallow your heart if what they have to say isn't how you feel

Answer 7

over all you are the only person who can make the final disision most parents will say stuff like that out of frustration and worie to try and get you to do what they want you to do.

I say she will probably get over it and semi except the fact that you will do what you please. Unfortunatly tho in order for you to do what you want you might have to move out on your own.. and you might not talk to your mom for a wile.. but i dought she will not talk to you forever.,.

mabie you should look at what your mom found out.. mabie it is important and makes her worie lots..

Answer 8

Tell your mom that you can stop talking to me, but i will never stop talking to you and loving you, for you mean a lot to me but you have to take part in my desicions, and i really love and i wish you could find it in your heart to love his parents or let me love him, just as much as you love dad...something like that...hope i helped..make a wise chice.

Answer 9

you will have to make allowances for your parents..i would not give up a good relationship because the in laws did not see eye to eye

you may never find someone who your parents would totally agree with...but its your call in the end

Answer 10

You two need to pick between your families or each other. Make the choice and stick to it.