Every since we moved on post, my daughter has been afraid to be alone in her room, she says she is afraid the bad guys are going to come to find her daddy. I feel it is partially my fault because she asked why daddy had to go on the ship and be away from us for such a long time, I told her daddy was a hero. She says heroes fight bad guys and every since......I feel so bad. HELP! what can I do to fix this?
2007-03-28 16:08:07 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
My husband returned from his second tour in Iraq last November so I know what you are going through. I told my children their daddy goes there to fight the bad guys so they don't come here. It seemed to work. I hope she can feel safer knowing her daddy is keeping her and all of us safe. My prayers go out to you and your family.
2007-03-28 16:23:20 · answer #1 · answered by Jill C 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well my children have always felt better being on post. I think that you should take her to meet the guards at the gates. Take her to see the MP's, maybe give a call ahead of time and explain the situation to the cammander of your local MP unit. Then you need to sit down and tell her that her daddy is a long way away, (we have a huge world map on our kids play room, so they can understand where Iraq is) and that all the bad guys are there, that is why daddy has to be away. There are no bad guys here and that you are on a post, and that is the safest place to be. Don't let her fear get out of control, at 6 her immagination just runs wild ( I have a 6 year old, a 5 year old also) and it will only get worse if you don't put a stop to it now. Be very firm, not mean, but firm, in the fact that she is very safe and noone is going to harm her. Try to be upbeat when you visit the guards and the MP's. Don't dwell on it with her, don't mention starngers or anything like that. I hope you succeed, my kids went through similar issues when my hubby deployed the second time, but never quite this bad. Just make sure she doesnt hear you talking about your fear for your husband or any fears you may have. Not until this is under control.
2007-03-28 23:23:56 · answer #2 · answered by Barbara C 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well first i dont think you should feel bad for telling her what you did, i think thats a very good way of explaining where her dad is and why hes there to a 6 year old. i think one way to help her not be so afraid of the "bad guys" is maybe to come up with things you two can do together to help keep him safe. i knoe this sounds silly since hes not anywhere near you guys but maybe if she feels like theres something she can do to help her dad be protected then she wont be so scared for him.and this could be anything from having her make up her own special prayer that she says everynite before she goes to bed, or something like that.mostly just try and help her think of things that she can do so she doesnt feel so helpless. hope that helps some :)
2007-03-28 23:42:16 · answer #3 · answered by snshnangel04 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her that he is a hero that does not fight bad guys and that know bad guys are going to come and find her daddy. dont feel like this is your fault because she may have a differnt prospective and you will have to explain to her yours. i am haveing a hard time answering this question because it is very challenging. if this gets to out of control like she cant sleep anymore then may i suggest a few sessions of thearapy, there are people who are specialize for working with problems like this. GOOD LUCK!
2007-03-28 23:19:12 · answer #4 · answered by Runner. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make a reward chart and give her a star every time she sleeps all night in her room. Make a big deal about it and plan a special day with her when she gets 10 stars. My kids are 10 and sometimes they still get scared at night and occasionally I let them sleep with me if they have bad dreams, this is fine sometimes. Before you know it they will be grown and gone.
2007-03-29 00:20:31 · answer #5 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If at all possible have Dad talk to her. It could be just haw she is projecting her fears. My Daughter developed a fear of firefighters shortly before I gave birth to her brother. She would not leave my side and it was all she could talk about. We sat down and taked to find that she was scared of the changes that were happening. Now she wants to be a fireman.
2007-03-28 23:26:09 · answer #6 · answered by mommyof 3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i also live on a base and am about to have the same problem as my hubby deploys in may
my plan is to get my daughter a build a bear with my hubby's voice
aside from that i plan to just say screw it and let her sleep with me
but i really liked the bad guys spray idea that might work great (dont let her see you fill it with water and maybe put coloring in it)
2007-03-29 00:52:44 · answer #7 · answered by squeaker 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is 6 so i dont know if this would help but have you tried a spay bottle with water in it and spray it in her room and say this is "stay away bad guys spray"
I know it sounds funny but it worked to get the monsters out from under the bed if you know what i mean.
Leave the bottle in her room and anytime she feels or thinks they are coming or in there all she has to do is spray her magic spray
2007-03-29 00:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by JUST JOKING 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her daddy isnt fighting bad guys, dad is on the ship trying t o catch fish or something... maybe her fear will go away.
2007-03-28 23:19:28 · answer #9 · answered by mom_princess77 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
just tell her that daddy is catxhing fishys for everybody to eat!!!
2007-03-29 06:17:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋