My really good friend has recently been hanging out with my ex who hurt me a lot in the past. My ex used me, lied to me, neglected me, yelled at me, put me down with insults. I dont miss him at all, & I dont want him back.
Although this friend of mine has been good friends with BOTH of us since before we broke up, seeing him hanging out with my ex now hurts me a lot. My friend knows what he did to me and when he first found out he thought my ex was a complete jerk. But recently, it seems like he is accepting my ex as a friend again. I know that they have been friends too for a long time & Its none of my business who he is friends with but It just kind of hurts to see him hanging out with my ex when he knows what he did to me. I sort of tried talking to my friend about it last night but he just told me I have to forgive & forget.
I dont know how to talk to him about how this hurts me. Any suggestions? Should I even talk to him about it at all? Am I just being ridiculous?
2007-03-28 15:57:09 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Okay, this is from personal experience: some men have relationship problems with women, but don't have friendship problems with other men, even if they're friends of women they broke up with. I know, it's not really a "man thing," but as a guy who has relationship problems of his own, it's a lot easier to deal with the guys than it is to understand women sometimes! So I think your friend is right to suggest that you might "forgive and forget," because if you try to break up a friendship that he willingly entered into, he'll think you're no better than your ex. Besides, as long as your ex isn't bothering you, there shouldn't be any harm; it will only hurt you if you let it, and that's a waste of time and energy. So let them be buds, but let your friend know that you don't want to even hear about your ex. That way, things will remain halfway smooth, and your friend won't wind up disliking you. Hell, who knows? He might find out why your ex acted like he did, and you'll come out of all this with a different opinion.
2007-03-28 16:10:25 · answer #1 · answered by knight2001us 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a 50 year old mother of four age 10 - 28 and a new grandbaby. In my opinion, it is very unacceptable for your friend to step over this boundary with your ex. I WOULD not talk to him about it, given his history. It will only feed his ego that it bothers you and it may enhance the problem. I feel the ex is a non-issue...let him go, forget him and don't discuss this with him. If you value your friendship with your girlfriend, I would discuss it with her and see if you can come to a comfortable place with it. Personally, I find it unacceptable for her to go there..... You are not wrong in feeling uncomfortable with this. EVEN if your ex was ok....and not so extreme with his behavior, there are certain places friends don't go and going with the ex's is one of those places.
2007-03-28 23:02:30 · answer #2 · answered by mommadawn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you're overreacting just forgive and forget just never go for that type of guy again! You can't control someone else's friends they make their own choices even though you influence them. A true friend wouldn't say pick me or the other person. A true friend would respect their choice even if you disagree and that way your friend can see who is better of the two!
2007-03-28 23:02:32 · answer #3 · answered by Mooney Girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not being rediculous
if my friend did that id be crushed dont talk to him for a while
2007-03-28 23:01:45 · answer #4 · answered by lindseynov25 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋