My ex bf and I broke up about six months ago. Since then we have hooked up about a dozen times, but I recently made a conscious effort to stop completely. Now we just hang out and nothing happens at all. He says that he is fine with it, but sometimes I feel like he might still have some slight feelings. He says he's not interested in being with me, but the thing is that I'm in love with him. He knows that I really care about him and he says he still wants to be friends--regardless--with sex or without it. The strange thing is that he continues to text me everyday just to say cute things. We don't really hang out that much anymore b/c I try not to (b/c of my feelings). I guess my question is, what do you think I should do? Should I continue to hang out with him--no sex--just friends, or should I cut it off completely? And if you're a guy...can you please tell me what you think his intentions are? Thanks, i appreciate it.
2007-03-28 15:53:38 · 20 answers · asked by girly girl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he is waiting to find someone he likes better, he hasn't found her, so he still needs a hookup...after the hookup, his brain does the thing that makes him feel guilty and honest, and he decides to let you be free, and at the time he truly believes he doesn't want the sex anymore...but then a couple weeks go by and his lonliness and horniness kick in again so he texts you to soften you up, then casually sets up a time to be together, then it "just happens" and the cycle continues...of course he has "slight interest", you two used to go out, and you have a comfortable sexual relationship..."dry spells" make guys feel like losers in their mind's eye and in the eyes of their buddies, so a sporadic, work-free relationship that is sometimes sexual in nature is just what they need to bridge the gap while maintaining their confidence...ex girlfriends are the easist people in the world to lie to, especially when the lie is exactly what the girl wants to hear...I assure you, he is completly single, is not in love with you, and constantly on the lookout for his next girl...
2007-03-28 16:07:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What is the problem??--he made it clear that being friends is fine--you have the problem !! Why are you not trying to find another guy?? Why are you continuing to feel a connection with this past relationship? Friends with benefits was a poor choice in that 12 episode romp---get a grip and move on---your relationship is over---Millions of people are done but still friends--you seem to think it is not over---that is just silly ---get a grip and be friends but develop a relationship with someone new--it is called moving on---it is life and that is a fact. Keep the friendship light--he could care less about any new guy in your life--so don't talk that crap. That is just a ploy to keep him on the phone--if you don't have anything to say then don't call or see him. You certainly don't care about his new flames--so just keep it light and be nice...good luck to you
2007-03-28 23:04:19 · answer #2 · answered by fire_inur_eyes 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide if you want to be in a relationship with this person again, just be friends, or not be friends before you start trying to determine what he wants. Decide on your end first and then approach him and talk to him about what he wants. Because it sounds like the relationship isn't over, it's just become more casual.
If you want to be friends, cool it for a while. The more you hang out, the more confusion there is going to be. Then you can resume hanging out.
2007-03-28 22:58:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should try to limit the number of times you see him... and when you do meet up with him, try to do more active things in public places (e.g. the mall)... DO NOT spend snuggly evenings with him watching movies or go to a bar with him "just for a drink." AND do not hook up with him.
What you need is time away from this guy... and hopefully also some new guy lovin'. Like I said, cut down on the texts/visits with your ex, and start looking for a new guy pronto!!
2007-03-28 23:00:31 · answer #4 · answered by Claire 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your sake, cut him off completely. Whether you know it or not, you are being very hard on yourself by continuing to hang out with him when you still have feelings (but yet he doesn't want to be with you as anything more than friends).
It is hard, but be brave and cut him off. No texts, no calls, no bootie calls!! If you offer it up, he's gonna take it (come on! he's a guy!)
2007-03-28 22:58:28 · answer #5 · answered by OffLiCute 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a female in the same situation. The thing is I feel that they want all the perks of a relationship without being in serious relationship. Or it could be that the sex is really good for him and he doesn't want to let go.
2007-03-28 23:10:33 · answer #6 · answered by richelle114 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants sex and his freedom. He knows how you feel about him, and he is hanging with you because he does want sex--he is figuring that because of your feelings for him, you will change your mind about having sex.
Go cold turkey. No contact whatsoever, get busy with friends, and date other people. He's like a drug that is holding you back--and just like an addict, you cant dabble without falling into the abyss. Walk away in totality.
2007-03-28 23:00:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
because your feelings are involved..i would put them first and cut everything off. the more that you guys hang out with each other whether youre having sex or not..the feelings that you have for him are going to sit there and haunt you, meanwhile his feeling for you arent being recpriocated. take my advice and end the friendship. it wont work believe me i tried..dont wait till the day that you see the other girl..that was a heart crusher...and youre the friend so..you gotta bite your lip.
2007-03-28 23:05:20 · answer #8 · answered by sweetness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no don't hang with him anymore. well if you do you won't find anyone else. he is just holding you back. you don't have to cut him off completely that is if he just want to be friends.
i would think he likes you but does not want to commit to you. so he could be a player so watch out!
good luck!
2007-03-28 22:58:53 · answer #9 · answered by ty808 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His intentions are sex. Guys always think sex
2007-03-28 22:57:40 · answer #10 · answered by frankie b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋