15 year old daughter wants to get snake bites in her bottom lip, I say no. How can I get her to see my point?

Question

My daughter wants snake bites, her father and I have both told her no, she is very persistant and won't give up. I have called our dentist, looked up numerouse sites on the web and they all say the same thing about infections and problems with the gums. I have tried to explain to her about how dangerous infection can be, but she just keeps coming back with "but I may not get infection if I look after it properly" I agree she may not but there is always the what if. I don't like face piercings on anyone. I understand she wants to try new things to define who she is but I still don't agree with this. She is a very good kid, but very strong willed.

Answer 1

I totally understand where you're coming from. My mom was the same way about mine. However, she was more concerned about the fact that I have braces as well, and she didn't want me compromising the effectiveness of the braces. She told me I could get them as soon as I moved out, which of course I did (I am 19 and in college).

You might try to run some things by your daughter such as:
1. There is a threat that if you aren't careful they can ruin the enamal on your teeth.
2. Depending on where she would get said piercing, if the person who does it makes the tiniest mistake, the holes will not fade even if she takes them out.
3. They can get infected no matter how well you take care of them. (I have 11 piercings-three are facial- and take very good care of them but have had infections before).
4. For most people that choose to get these done, it is only a fad. It will come and go for some people. (After I got mine done, 5 of my friends got theirs done too; as of now, they have ALL taken theirs out).

You say that your daughter is a good kid, and you are her mother so you know her best, so even if she still disagrees she will most likely respect your and her father's opinion and authority until she is moved out.

Answer 2

Bottom line, you're her mom and you and her dad have final say on the matter. Depending on where you live, she won't be able to get them without your permission until she's either 16 or 18. (regulations are different for each state and country). I'm never popular when I point this out, but if she's living under your roof, she should abide by your rules.

I understand your concerns regarding body piercings. Maybe you guys can come to some sort of agreement, like a different piercing (vertical lip piercings eliminate the tooth/gum damage problem, or maybe a navel piercing if you're dead against facial piercings....a deal that she can get one piercing if she gets straight A's) I know that all of my suggestions involve her getting a piercing (and that's not just because I'm biased!) But many young people will turn to friends to do piercings if they're not allowed by their parents, which is far more dangerous than having a professionally done piercing. (but once again, you're her mom, so you have the say!)

For the record though, actual infections in piercings are fairly rare (many mistake irritation for infection, even doctors commonly make this mistake, because it's costly to run cultures to prove infection). Proper procedure and aftercare minimize these risks substantially. The possibilities of tooth and gum damage are also minimized by proper placement and jewelry. Early detection of a problem, and immediate remedy (jewelry change or removal) will prevent permanent damage to gums. (a lot of websites will promote misinformation to achieve their goals - and many are anti-piercing) For more info, you can check out a few body modification sites, such as BME or BodyMod.org.

Hope I was able to help, good luck!

Answer 3

Actually, if you take her to a clean, reputable shop the risk of infection is quite low, and it's much safer than her getting frustrated and doing it herself.
I doubt your daughter will change her mind as it's more than just a piercing, it's an ideology, a way of life. My parents were the same way and because of how bad they made me feel about wanting piercings and tattoos we no longer have a good relationship.
Really the best thing you can do is compromise. Make a deal with your daughter that if she gets good grades and does all her chores for a whole semester she can get it done, but she has to pay for it. That will really make her think about whether she wants it or not. And if she ends up getting it, be glad it's now so it'll be healed before she has to get a job.

Answer 4

Just tell her no, plain and simple... There aren't many facts or statistics that can convince someone not to get pierced once they've decided... Also, so you know, lip piercings are, IMO, easiest take care of... They're healed in 2 weeks and almost infection-free... If you properly take care of them, there's no reason for you to get an infection. The hole closes up so if you don't want it in 10 years, it's not there anymore. And if placed properly, there isn't a chance of problems with your gums....

My mother told me no, so I waited until I was 18 then got my lip pierced. I'm going back for the other side after I get paid.
If she respects you or her father, she'll wait.
If she goes out and gets it done anyways, sue the shop because being 16, she can't get it legally pierced.

Answer 5

Hey,
well as a 15 year old girl, I myself am trying to discover who I am. However,the more and more I think about it,and try different things...the more and more I realize that I'm becoming everybody else. If I'm everybody else,I'm most deffinatly not me. You may need her to discover that on her own. So,now that I've discovered that, I'm realizing that I'm not me at all. And that I was already me all along. She needs to learn that she dosen't need anything to look cool. Her friends should like her for her. That's where I went wrong in life...and now that I know the truth,I'm having to discover who my real friends are now.

-I'm not sure this helped...but I hope it did.
Good luck-and God Bless

Answer 6

there is nothing wrong with snake bites they are actualy not very likely to get infected becasue they are on your lip and part of the piercing is obviously in your mouth and piercings in your mouth are less likely to get infected because your mouth has like natural ways to prevent infection its not likely that she would have a problem with her teeth with snake bites I have a lip piercing and I have braces and I don't have problems with it

Answer 7

well if she is fifteen and a pretty good kid, then she is probably pretty sure of what she wants and probably not going to give up... i would suggest trying to print up some pretty negative info about it and if you can find some pics of cases where it has gotten infected... let her know that you are only showing her this and trying to discourage her because you care so much about her... if you do all this and she still wants to do it you may just have to let her... and hope that she will see the error of her ways... she may very well take good care of it and if so that will be fine... i think she will eventually grow out of it... good luck.

Answer 8

I have one niece that pierced her nose, after she turned 18. I couldn't help but ask if she whistled when she sneezed. Her sister waited till she turned 18 too, before she did it. Last time I saw her, I had to shake my head and ask why she didn't just shove her head into my tackle box. It would have given her the same effect. But then I did warn her not to go swimming in the lake. There are some rather large freshwater fish that have teeth.

Answer 9

I WAS THE SAME WAY AS A TEEN, ME AND MY MOTHER LAUGH ABOUT IT NOW, AND I'M STILL FINDING EVERYDAY THINGS THAT MY MOTHER WAS RIGHT ABOUT!!.... IF I WERE YOU I WOULD LOOK UP IMAGES OF PEOPLE THAT GOT INFECTIONS FROM THE "SNAKE BITES" AND SHOW THESE IMAGES TO YOUR DAUGHTER, ALSO TRY TO EXPLAIN TO HER THAT YOU AND DAD LOVE HER DEARLY AND SO OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE ONLY DOING WHAT YOU KNOW IS GOOD FOR HER BY SAYING NO. I HOPE SHE LISTENS TO YOU BECAUSE I KNOW SHE WILL REGRET IT LATER IN LIFE, I KNOW FROM EXPERIENCE OF NOSE PIERCING AND TATTOOS, I ALSO HAD EVERY COLOR HAIR AND A MOHAWK, GOTHIC, HEAVY METAL HEADBANGER, YOU NAME IT, AND NOW I KNOW IT'S ALL ABOUT NATURAL BEAUTY, BEING A LADY, BEING HEALTHY AND HAPPY, AND BOY DO I STILL FEEL EMBARRASSED WHEN SOMEONE NOTICES THE TWO SMALL HOLES ON THE SIDE OF MY NOSE OR THE TATTOO ON MY HAND, I WISH I'D HAVE LISTENED TO MOM!!

Answer 10

i got me a kid like that. she got an answer for everything, always has had from the time she was 16 months old, and i thought i was strong-willed. she doesn't always have to SEE your point, you're the parent , NO is the answer, tell her to get a grip on this one. Believe me, you won't break this one 's spirit. sounds like she's a spitfire. stand your ground, she's young , she'll get over it. mine fought me for 2 years over a belly button thing, now she doesn't want it anymore. hmmm, funny how that works .... good luck