Um... help???

Question

Ok I took some of the advice from previous questions. But for new comers here’s the story, my mom died when I was 8 I am now 15. Last year we had some neighbors move in to the house next to us. They have a family of six the mom and dad and 2 girls and 2 boys. Well I have been getting jealous of the two girls (10 and 12) because I see everything in their mom that I want in a mom. She takes them shopping a lot; she just sits and talks with them. I really want to be able to just sit down alone with her and tell her how I feel, but it never seems right. She has a family of her own to take care of. She doesn't need to be worrying about me. The neighbor’s mom offers to take me into town with her and her daughters almost daily when they are just running errands. I turn it down, I don't know why but I just do. I guess I just want her to figure out what I need but it's not gonna happen. So many people have been giving the advice “Go into town with her and her kids.”

Even advice, “Just sit down with her while you can talk to her alone.” Well I did go into town with them; her eldest son (8) had baseball tryouts today so I went with them to watch them. So that’s one step closer. But then her other kids decided they wanted to walk to a nearby store, and of course I offered to take them. So we walked to the store, leaving me a step behind again. Another scenario: I got my haircut recently like drastically (I cut off 20 inches.) Well my neighbor’s mom was driving me and her daughter to an activity and she’s all like “So what was your mom’s hair like.” She just asked random questions about my mom. I was surprised by how good it felt to be able to talk about my mom. But I still don’t think that I am much closer to solving my problem then I was before. Anymore advice that could help me out?

The way you guys are answering makes it sound like you think I always act/ look depressed. I try not to put my burdens on other people and I get multiple comments that I am the happiest and most positive person that people have seen. At least that's how it looks to others but inside and pratically dying.

Answer 1

Tell this lady that you need to talk to her......when you get the chance to sit down with her tell her that you just need someone to talk to about your mom and express your envy of her motherly ness to her children and i assure you that she will be able to help you out....don't be scared honey she will help you out....she is a good hearted person

Answer 2

I'm failing to see how walking with the kids to the store sets you back. That's exactly the kind of things families do together. I'd see the offers to run errands and being included on family events (sport tryouts and walks) as very positive signs that the family likes you for you.

Keep in mind that their mom will never take the place of your mom but she seems to be giving you a chance. Take it slow and when the time is right talk to her about it.

Answer 3

Sweetie, I think this lady already has an idea about how u feel because she must have known how good u would feel taklin about ur mom. I think that you are a good girl and that you should take a fighting chance and talk to ur neighbor. Dont be jealous, all things happen 4 a reason, dont worry. Talk to her and see what happen. I think that will make yu feel even better. I know you'll probably forget so think about it and what you'll say exactly. You need to calm down becuase your thinking too much. I think you get a little nervous and that's okay. I'm sorry for your loss and take my advice.