how do i tell him that he isnt my dad?

Question

a few months ago, i received a message on myspace from this guy asking me who the girl on my profile was i told him she was my cousin and he explained that she was his cousin too turns out he and i also go to the same school. he is not my biological cousin, but since he has no other cousins in the u.s. i didnt mind when he told his friends i was his cousin, things were ok at first although after a while he started butting in too much, once he told me that my bf was not good enough and we got into a huge arguement about that. then about a month ago when my bf and i decided to take a break, it seemed like my "cousin" took over me. now i have a performance on friday in which i wear a skirt and he is telling me im not allowed to do the dance because he will not let me. and he told me that when i want to put up a picture on my myspace i have to ask him first and i can only have 1 pic up. it is my life and im old enough to make my own choices, how do i tell him to back off w/out hurting him?

i have tried to talk to him about this and he tells me that he wont protect me if i dont want him to, but the thing is, he helps me out alot and i dont want to lose him as a "cousin" but i want to live my own life

Answer 1

You said you've tried talking to him but of course you tried to spare his feelings too ..... perhaps tried to hard to spare his feelings ? meaning that you probably didn't say all of what needed to be said . He needs to hear it all , the good , the bad and the ugly . What he's doing is not protecting you but controlling you and that's a big problem if you let it continue. It's time you take the reigns and determine what your relationship will be , making sure he understands the boundaries. You don't have to be mean to get your point across but you may have to become a little more outspoken and firm with him until he understands that you're serious.
Good luck to you : )

Answer 2

Sounds like he has some serious issues that could cause real problems in your life. Please tell an adult you can trust about how controlling he is. In the meantime, try to call him less, make yourself busy so that you spend less time together. Perhaps he will get the message. Remember to get help from a trusting adult in case he becomes too overbearing.

Answer 3

sounds like he either likes you or he is trying to be a big brother to you. either get it in his head to give you some space or put up with it. he knows how people on myspace is. i have herd guys say myspace is for hos and desperate guys.

Answer 4

I dunno, do you really want to keep this guy around? Sounds super creepy and possesive!! No one owns you (esepcially not some dude from the internet!!)