easy 2-10 pointss?

Question

make me laugh and u win...tell a jokee

Answer 1

The final examination for an English class was two hours long and exam booklets were provided. The teacher was very strict and told the class that any exam that was not on his desk in exactly two hours would not be accepted and the student would fail. A half hour into the exam, Little Johnny came rushing in and asked the teacher for an exam booklet. "You're not going to have time to finish this," the teacher stated sarcastically as he handed the student a booklet. "Yes I will," replied Little Johnny. He then took a seat and began writing. After two hours, the teacher called for the exams, and the students filed up and handed them in. All except the late student, who continued writing. Fifteen minutes later, the last student came up to the teacher who was sitting at his desk preparing for his next class. He attempted to put his exam on the stack of exam booklets already there. "No you don't, I'm not going to accept that. It's late." Little Johnny looked incredulous and angry. "Do you know WHO I am?"

"No, as a matter of fact I don't," replied the teacher. "DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?" Little Johnny said again. "No, and I don't care." replied the teacher with an air of superiority. "Good," replied Little Johnny, who quickly lifted the stack of completed exams, stuffed his in the middle, and walked out of the room.

Answer 2

Words Women Use

--Fine--

This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.


--Five Minutes--

If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.


--NOthing--

This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine."



--Go Ahead--
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.


--Loud Sigh--

This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"


--Thats okay--

This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.


--Thanks--

A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.



--Send this to the men you know, to warn them about future arguments they can avoid if they remember the terminology!!!


And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!!!


HAve a nice Day!!!

:)

Answer 3

Blonde Joke: A blind guy walks into a bar and yells "Hey Bartender wanna hear a blonde joke?, the guy sitting next to him says "hey pal, I don't think you wanna tell that joke, the bartender is blonde, I'm a blonde football player, and the 4 guys over at that table are all blonde pro wrestlers, you still wanna tell that joke? the blind man replies " no, haha I don't wanna explain it that many times!"

Answer 4

A ventriloquist and his dummy just finished saying their blonde joke during their show, when all of a sudden a woman jumps up and exclaims " How dare you? You should be ashamed of yourself for discriminating against blondes!" The ventriloquist doesn't know what to say since this has never happened to him before. But when he starts to apologize, the woman says to him, " You stay out of this, Mister! I'm talking to that little jerk on your knee!!!"

LOL love that joke!

Answer 5

Blonde Joke- There was a brunette, redhead and a blonde to be executed. So, they stood the brunnette up against a wall and the gunner was getting ready. then the jailer said to the gunner, "ok now....Ready, Aim,--------and then the brunnette yelled "EARTHQUAKE!" and everybody paniced, while the brunnette escaped. Then, they lined the redhead up against the wall. "Ready, aim,--------"FLOOD!" and everybody paniced while the redhead escaped. Next, they lined the blonde up against the wall. "Ready, Aim,----------"FIRE!"

Bar joke- 2 guys walked into a bar. And you would think atleast one of them would have been smarter.

Random-What's black and white and re(a)d all over? Ans. a newspaper

Hope you liked em!

Cheerz,
Serenity

Answer 6

Harry and his wife:
harry and his wife Lola, were falling on hard times, so harry decides to pimp out lola so they can get some money to feed their kids. on the night harry told lola to go in front of the strip club and trry to pick up customers, while he would be parked on the corner if she needed to ask him anything.
First customer lola gets hands her 30 bucks and says its all he has, "hold on a minute" lola says and goes round the corner to harry, "what can this guy get for 30 bucks?" she asks, 'a hand job' says harry, Sex is 100 bucks so a handjob is all he can get for 30 bucks.So she goes back to the guy and tells him, 'u can get a hand job', she pulls down his fly and the guy has THE BIGGEST MEMBER SHE'S EVER SEEN!, she tells the guy to wait a minute, runs round the corner to harry and says " Honey, can u lend this guy 70 bucks?"

Obviously, harry can't "measure" up!

Answer 7

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those I had to kill because they pissed me off.
And also, help me to be careful of the toes I step on today, as they may be connected to the *** that I may have to kiss tomorrow.
Help me to always give 100% at work: 12% on Monday, 23% on Tuesday, 40% on Wednesday, 20% on Thursday, 5% on Friday.
And help me to remember: When I'm having a really bad day, and it seems that people are trying to piss me off, that it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to extend my middle finger and tell them to bite me.

Answer 8

(a Redneck joke)
Little 13 year old Bobby was settin on his front stoop w/his pappy,and asked:
Gee pa, that Peggy-Sue who lives across the road, and sits next to me in school sure is pretty, don't you think Pa?
Pa: She sure is a cute thing son.
Bobby:Well I'm gonna marry her pa!
Pa: NOW hold on son! Is she still a virgin?
Bobby: Yup, I believe she is!!
Pa: Well son,... ya see, If she ain't good enough for her own family, What makes you so sure she'll be good for ours?

Answer 9

ok its a blode joke once this blode ans her husband are hiking and he suddenly faints the blode calls 911 and says my husband is dead they ask her are you sure then she shoots him with a gun and then she like yea im sure!!!!

my brrither made it up so dont give me alot or credit but this one i made it up

ok another blonde joke der is a blode brunette and a rd head so then polices are after them and so they all hide in a boxes when dey go to see the box the red heads in she goes meow so they say it oln a cat when the go by the brunettes box they ask whos in der she says ruff so dey r like it olny a cat when they ask whos in der to the blode she says chips

LoL

Answer 10

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo' drizzle.
-------------------------
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
------------------------------
A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."