Asking parents to help pay for a wedding?

Question

My husband and I never were married in the church. We are renewing our vows in Aug, in the church, and having a small reception afterwards. I have asked my parents to help us with half of the expense, roughly $1000.00. We will pay the other thousand. They have not answered me yet, said they need to "talk about it". Was it even rude of me to ask? Keep in mind they paid for both of my sisters weddings to the tune of 20 grand a piece, and all I asked for was a thousand bucks. I dont WANT a huge wedding, we've been married for 10 years, and its a little late for that. My husband and I are financially comfortable, but it is hard to come up with 2 grand or so and I just asked for a little help and was shocked I didnt get an immediate response (preferably a yes). What do you think?

Answer 1

I don't think it was rude for you to ask. All they can say is no which would be unfortunate. It would be nice for them to pitch in but they may be thinking since you are already married it isn't necessary. Hopefully they decide to help you out. Maybe they are just going through financial difficulites so they are seeing if they can afford it.

Answer 2

After 10 years of marriage i really see no reason in asking a parent to contribute anything, regardless if they helped a sibling in the past. While you may really have wanted them to, it really isnt their responsibility to help out this late in the game (in fact they dont even have to help a child on the 1st wedding- that is a gift in my opinion and should never be seen as an obligation).

I would just proceed in the wedding planning and start to save now. You can push the renewal out a bit until you can pay for it yourselves and be proud of that. If in the case your parents do come through and help, be thankful and maybe you will have enough to add a few more things in the wedding.

But honestly, you cannot judge your situation vs your sisters due to the fact they are not you. With you being financially stable it should be easier for you to wrangle up the extra 1000.

Answer 3

it is very nice that you would like to renew your vows after 10 years.since you do not want a big wedding why dont you work with the 1000 that you can afford.your parents money isnt yours and though they have spent a considerably large amount on that of your sisters, it does not mean they are in the situation to spend on your wedding too.probably they had more money at that time or they have presently planned to do something with the money they have now.
if the 1000 more is absolutely important for you to be happy on the d day you can get a loan, not make a wedding list and write politely on the invitation that you have been married for a long time and that cash donation will be more welcome than material goods.Im sure you would get more than enough to pay off the 100 bill and even extra for the honey moon if you are planning one.good luck

Answer 4

Well, I'm sure you told them before you asked for the money that you wanted to have this ceremony. What was their reaction to that? When did your sisters get married? If it was a while ago, are they having any financial hardships now? If they disagree with this ceremony (seeing as how you already are married) maybe, could that be why they aren't as quick to answer you?

I don't want to rain on your parade, I think it is an AWESOME idea!! My husband and I are having our vow renewal on July 21, 2007. I didn't ask anyone's help though. I felt awkward asking for help. We aren't really comfortable either, but we are managing and I am paying for it 100%. I'm not gloating or telling you that is how it should be, I am just kinda proud of myself in a sense...

Anyways, back on topic, those might be a few reasons why they have that reaction. Maybe you could ask them now if they had thought about it and ask them to be straight up with you. Ask them if they have any reasoning in treating your ceremony different from your sisters.

Good luck, and happy 10th!!

Answer 5

Yes, that was pretty rude to ask. It doesn't matter if they paid for your sisters' weddings. Nor does it matter that you're only asking for $1,000. And it doesn't matter that you never had a church wedding.

What matters is that you have been married for 10 years and are financially comfortable. And you're asking your parents for money. You should be capable of paying your own expenses and not having to ask mom and dad to help out. That's why they are balking at this...they don't want to set a precedent that it's okay for all their adult children to come crawling to them when they want money.

Answer 6

I don;t think it's rude to ask your parents to help you pay for your wedding. Since you had one and want to have a vow renewal in a church I say ask and I don't see why they can't help. Especially since your asking for a smaller amount than your sisters ever did. Having a small intimate wedding that has the love and devotion that the two of you share showed in a ceremony. There is nothing wrong with wanting that and wanting them to help. It's not fair that they've given your sisters such hurge weddings and yet are telling you they have to think about it, and you shouldn't have ton wait until your tenth wedding anniversary.
Good Luck

Answer 7

I don't think you should've asked them. 1. You've been married 10 years, and are only renewing your vows.
2. Inconsidering the fact that they haven't answered you,
it's likely they don't want to help you.
3. If they do help financially, they might want to have a say
in everything connected to the event. If you'd like, I could suggest to you, a way or two, to cut the cost of the renweal wedding.

Answer 8

Yes of course it was awful of you to ask - you have been married 10 years! You and your husband are to pay for a party yourselves! And, you are not to be having "another" wedding; however you could do a vow renewal ceremony or blessing, followed by a dinner at your home for family and close friends.

Answer 9

I dont think you should have even asked. you've been married 10 years. if you choose to renew your vows then thats your choice and you pay for it. I wouldnt even consider asking my parents for money to renew my vows. I didnt eve nask for money for my wedding from them and I was only 19 at the time and that was only 2 years ago. after 10 years you shouldnt need to ask your parents for money for that. it doesnt matter what they paid for your sisters weddings and what not. your best bet is to do it yourself or not at all.

Answer 10

aww :( im currently going thru the same thing. a year ago my parents paid for 2 of my sisters weddings and now i am getting married in may...and have almost no help from them.
i am very disappointed and hurt by my parents not because they didnt give me the money but because i feel that dont feel my fiance is good enough..

i think you should sit down and talk to your parents and say hey we are saving you 19 grand here lol. tell them that you feel guilty for not marrying in a church and would like to fix the mistake..or something along those lines

Answer 11

It never hurts to ask. However, you have been married for ten years and are renewing vows. This is just an "extra" ceremony, something nice, not a "necessity". Are your parents stable? Is $1000 a big deal to them now? It might be if they are retired. If it were me, I would not have even asked, but then secretly wished for a "gift". I would rather have my parents give me a grand because they wanted to, not be/c I had to ask for it.