Are we ready for children/marriage?

Question

my partner is 23 and im 20 we have only been together for 9months but we have been living together for 8 of those, we both work full time. im also at uni. we have a joint loan for our car and we rent a 4 bedroom house in the city money is not a problem for us we're saving to buy a house atm. even though we seem young and havent been together long it just feels right, to start a family and spend the rest of our lives together. i never used to be interested in having children honestly i hated the idea but lately i have been very clucky we've talked about it a little but i dont want to push the subject unless im 100% sure. oh and we havent had any major fights etc in our relationship so far and the 1 mth we didnt live together we were actually 7hrs drive apart. well i would appreciate any feedback at all.

in answer to some of the things that have been bought up, im studying uni externally and if i fell pregnant i was planning on leaving work and continuing uni externally so i can be home with bub for the next 3-4yrs i have left of my degree. Also we sit down together and work out finances we share the house work although i cook all the meals because he cant cook but im slowly teaching him which is fun :D And in the question to trusting him i do 100%. We handle the big stuff well and even the things we disagree on we always manage to meet in the middle. I know im ready but i just wanted to gauge peoples reactions and get some advice so when i bring it up i have some answers to his questions rather then just looking at each other saying i dont know. thank you for all the answers so far

Answer 1

I was married at 20 (now 29 and still married) and the best advice I can offer is this:
Make sure that you are on the same page when it comes to the important issues. How do you(both) handle the finances? (Do you sit down together to pay bills?) Do you come from similar backgrounds? (How you are raised affects how you plan to raise your children.) Since both of you work full time, who does the house work? Is your partner helpful? How are you(both) at communicating your needs? Basically what I'm trying to say is, do you agree on major issues? Before you even think about children, know what your partner's parenting style would be. We lived together for a long time before getting married and I didn't think that things would change that much, but it did. Nine years and three kids later, we love each other more than ever.

Answer 2

If you truly love a person, and they love you it seems right to want to marry them. If you don't make the decision that is right for you, there will always be that nagging "what if" in the back of your mind. I think you should have a honest heart to heart with your partner and decide if you are both ready for marriage, and/or on the same page/level of the relationship.
As for having children, I would wait until you are out of school. Children take soo much work, especially when they are between the ages of birth and 4. They need constant supervision, and you should talk and see if you can devote the time needed to care for a child.
Best of luck, and I hope you make the best decision for you and your partner. The best question to ask yourself is, "will I be happy with the outcome now, and 5 or 10 years down the road?"

Answer 3

You are definitely not ready trust me on this. You are so young and have not been together nearly long enough. A relationship needs time for both people to enjoy it and get to know each other. The minute you have kids your relationship takes a back seat to the children. If you don't want to have anymore fun with your partner and one on one time then have kids. There is plenty of time to have kids my god your not even 25 yet. Late twenties early thirties is the best time to have kids because your settled in a career, you have probably been married for a few years. There is no rush. Once you have kids your life changes forever - remember this.

Answer 4

First, you have not been together long enough to start having children. There are way to many people out there getting divorced and seperated. Make sure the relationship is the real thing frist1 then father down the road if it happend great but make sure youll stay together. Being a single parent is hard work.

Answer 5

Age isn't the biggest factor- you can work through that. You both seem really dedicated to what you do and very responsible. My suggestion is to finish school before taking on something like that, or at least before having children. Too many have quit school after becoming pregnant. If you have to ask though, then you're probably not ready. You shouldn't have to doubt anything if its right. Good luck

Answer 6

First of all you call her your partner and not your wife. If you are "shacking up", you are living in sin. You are way to young to marry too. You are in college and work. You have no time for a child. If you are just saving to buy a house, you are not ready for a baby.

Answer 7

I'm sorry, but if you have to ask us what you should do, then you're definitely not ready for children...and especially not for marriage. Be careful before you jump into things. You should never do anything that serious until you are absolutely 100% positive.

And another warning sign, you have had no fights. Be careful...make sure you trust the guy before you commit yourself to him by marrying him. (I don't know him personally, but I'm seeing some little red flags...)

Answer 8

Get married and then buy the house and then work on the family. You have a good start.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

Finish your educations and get started on careers before. You will regret it otherwise.