Is it only me or should all parent this way?

Question

we love aour kids and give them everything but all we have to provide them is food and safe shelter everything else is a benafit

if the want money or a ride some where or the want friends over or there cell phones or me to cook them dinner they will do as they are told nothing in life is free

my time and attention costs them

a family is like a work place everyone has a position and if one person is not doing there job then no one can get there work done and the buisness fails


why do parents let there children walk all over them ?

many of you are not reading this right or you are just on your high horse you are no better a perent than anyone else on here so get over your self

i am talking about teens NOT small children

i do love my kids and they know i do
What isaid about attention was to drive them around with ther friends or run there arends for them and all the other hundred things teens want from us

parents of teems will understand what i am saying and understand it

Answer 1

I know exactly what you mean. I have 5 kids ages 18,16,11,9 and 7. (Three are natural and two are step.) When it comes to teens, they expect everything and do not earn it...they think it is owed to them. I don't know about yours but mine have expensive taste. They like Abercrombie way too much! I think we only have to provide love,shelter and food. The luxuries should be earned just as they are for us. We work our butts off for luxuries!!! Why shouldn't they? I feel even though I am a stay at home mom, the kids should do chores and help out around the house. They live here and make the mess, so they should clean up after themselves. Some of the kids help when I ask but my oldest who just turned 18 and the 9 year old are sooooo lazy. I decided not to give them what they "want" if they won't help out and clean up after themselves!!

Answer 2

It is not only our obligation to provide them with food and a safe shelter but to love and raise them proper. Yes, money, cell phones, and all those other gadgets and toys are perks and we are under no obligation to provide them with them. I also agree that these items in one way or another should be earned but to say that your attention and time should cost them is entirely wrong. I treasure the time I have with my children and I would never expect that repaid in anyway. I don't think a parent is being walked over just by spending a little quality time with their child. A family is not like a work place and should not be handled as such. A family lives in a home where as the work place is outside the home, in a factory, office building, store, etc. If you look at your children as no more than employees you have some major issues and I thank the God there aren't too many more people out there like you.

Answer 3

my kids are 4 and 2 and I have been thinking a lot about when they are teens and I know that if they want a cell phone they will have to pay for it and if they want a car they have to get it I will not buy them one or if they use my vehicle they will supply the gas I want to be able to show them what the real world is like when I moved out at 19 I had no idea about real life bills and other stuff my mother never really talked about it I did not have a real job till I was 18 I just hope I can give my kids all that they need to be great independent people

Answer 4

Each family has their own way of making things work.
My time and attention doesn't cost my children,but If they don't behave,they do miss out on things as punishment-like having friends over,or watching TV etc.
I find the more time I spend with my kids,the more well behaved they are.
I believe that as parents(which we make a choice to be) we should not only provide the basic needs of a child,but also love, understanding,support and encouragement.
My children don't walk all over me-Nor do i run my house like a boot-camp.
My children are well behaved because they know the rules,and out of respect they follow them.We all respect each other and that works for us.

Answer 5

This is a great question! I am the mom of six (now grown), and we had rules, regulations, chores, etc. Even the youngest 'had to' put their toys away and brush their teeth, etc. Considering that I also needed to take care of my ill husband, I'd say we had a pretty smooth-running household.

Unfortunately, when each of the children hit around 14 or so, they got to be wise-butts. They wouldn't come home on time, or call. Then we had to lay down the law - again. "You're late once more, you won't go to the prom/camping trip/beach, etc.".

Answer 6

mine are only 8 but before I know it they will be teenagers. If they want a mobile phone then they better get a job. Mine will not walk all over me and expect everything handed to them on a silver platter. If they do they will be sorely dissapointed. NO respect...No driving to friends and special treats etc. Respect needs to be shown from both them and parents to have a healthy parenting relationship

Answer 7

Yes but you owe them meals, good food should not be a reward. Don't make them feel as if they had to earn dinner. I was alwasy very strict-i insisted on good manners and no foolish tantrums, but it gave me pleasure also to buy for them and take them places--they din't have to earn everything. Today parents are afraid of their children, however your time and attention should not cost your children anything, love is given freely. Love is a gift.

Answer 8

i agree with you someway but how could you have children and expect them to be tied to the fact its going to "cost them"
it is the way you bring your children up that makes all the differance i dont expect to set rules to my children but they also know they dont take the micky.
how you raise them will be how they turn out
i have 3 children from 3 months to 16 years but the oldest two know the rules of being fair

Answer 9

sounds to me you are lacking one things for your childern is love how you gonna say your time and attention cost them ??????? you are 1 fuked up momma I can tell ya that and i dont let my little girl walk all over me and she is very well behaved never demands stuff either she even stated last time we went to the store she had 2 many toys and she 4 I think you should try a class called love and logic parenting it is very helpful and I feel sorry for your kids growning up like they are you !!!!!!!!1 you owe them the world you brought them her

Answer 10

I agree with you, you are teaching them how important their role in the family is. It gives self worth, responsibility, and teaches work ethics. Alot of the kids today were very unlucky because their parents did not take the time and energy that it takes to raise and well rounded, polite and responsible person.