Who, what, or why are people angry when they have cancer?

Question

Please give me your reasons. I need to help a friend understand her anger at her cancer. Thank you kindly for your insightfulness.

Answer 1

Many of us are annoyed when we break a finger nail or the light turns red before we can turn. We've heard of all kinds of fits of rage from murder to car rage. Why is it so difficult to understand why someone is mad when they are struck down by a disease they don't understand. Why they are mad when there is no rhyme or reason to why it happened to them. Why they are mad
that even if they survive it will drastically change their lives from that moment on. Why they are mad because it is inevitable and they had and still have no control over it. Why they are mad because they are scared of what will happen to them and to their family. Why they are mad because they very well might die. What people need to understand is that they have a right to their anger. That it may be an anchor until they can gain control of themselves and their emotions. That it is an immediately release for the tension that has been building and they needs an outlet. People with cancer know why they are mad..let them yell and scream and throw things if it helps. They will eventually stop. All you need to do is be there to hold them and let them cry. They have that right.

Answer 2

Whenever we experience loss like the death of a loved one, the end of a relationship or dealing witha potentially terminal disease, we need to progress through the grief process. This process has five stages.

The first stage is denial. We cannot believe that this is happening to us. The second stage is anger. We are hurt, disappointed we become frustrated because we are confronted with the reality that our lives are not entirely under our control.

Stage three is bargaining. This is typified by statements, wishes or prayers that sound like "If only such and such would happen then I could accept this"

Stage four is called depression, we question and blame ourselves for the pain we are in.

finally we can move to acceptence. this is not an easy process and some people get stuck. None of the emotions are bad but need to be expresss in healthy ways that does not harm anyone.

Your friend may need a cancer patient support group. You might need one as well.

Answer 3

Normal- you feel like your body is betraying you..
What would you feel if it were you?.. but, understand your answer isn't based on having cancer.. what people say they would do, is biased on their knowledge of where they are currently in life.. Your friends reactions of anger is how she is dealing with.. She may cry, yell, get angry .. she is in a sense mourning the loss of her health to a max degree , as it is seriously threatened. Hopefully it is the type of cancer that can be treated and recoverable.
one feels helpless, at the mercy of some doctor with their life decisions more than ever in someone else's hands..
Fear of the unknown.. where it will lead.. Pain, removal of some body part, or surgery that won't stop it.. treatments, death.
The why me?.... thinking did something to deserve such, when not..
best advise.. eat healthy, laugh and enjoy the things you wanted to do but didn't.. you learn to appreciate life more and truly live it when you know it is closer possibly to end..
None of us has a crystal ball to the future , we all could go crossing the street and get hit by a car... oh, i did that already...
Be grateful for the people around you and get centered inside.. stress isn't easy to elevate now, but needs to be as much as possible.. good luck to your friend.. prayers to you both.

Answer 4

I think it all depends on the individual's philosophy of life and coping skills. Many people, including myself, when diagnosed with cancer just say, "OK, what can we do about it?" and then do it. You have to take what life hands you and deal with it as best you can. Ask questions, get accurate information, and go from there. Use the energy you have in your anger in a different, more constructive way. Your frame of mind while undergoing treatment is very important - if it's positive and hopeful, you have a better chance of surviving.

Answer 5

Cancer happens to all kinds of people. Even those who never smoked, ate healthy and always exercised. People are angry that life has dealt them this raw deal. They are angry that they are about to/or already are going through total hell. They are angry because they know they could die. Their quality of life is deteriorating in most cases. It is something very difficult to face. I know I would be angry. It doesn't do any good but it can be a natural emotional reaction. It's hard to accept something like that without being bitter.

Answer 6

The reason people are mad when they have cancer is because so much starts to go on and there is so little you can do. its a very hard thing to deal with. The biggest reason could possibly be that youdont understand why you have cancer and what you did toget it. But all can really do for your friend is tell them you love them and will be with them through everything.

Answer 7

My husband died of cancer. When he was told he had "it" he was MAD AS HELL!!! They are mad because it is so unfair, they know it can cause them all that they love and all they hold dear, their lives! It means pain, long days of treatment and fear!I let him rave on as long as the need was there. In time came acceptance and he was quick to live every moment he had left , finished things, and did things he had never done but wanted too.
Not all cancer is terminal and one has to remember that but the word knocks the breathe out of you. Let your friend rave, hold her when she cries and do with her things on her "to do list" I wish you both well. It is not only the patient that has cancer it is her family and friends as well. Some people may shy away as they don't know what to say or how to act around her. Treat herthe same and do not stay away! I have so much more I could say but I mustn't ramble on . God Bless

Answer 8

Because we think why did god give this disease;and am i going to die...It;s the worst thing you can hear from your doctor///We are luckier today as yrs ago cancer was a death sentence; but will all the medicines and surgical procedures we cancer survivors can lead long happy lives with our loved ones,,,my self i have to go to the hosp.Tuesday and have a roux-y-surgery on my bowels ;to have some cysts cut off before they become cancerous../,good luck to your friend,,and god willing she or he can still have a good long life ahead ...my prayers are with her also,.,.,.

Answer 9

They get angry because they are facing their mortality. It's scary you think the worst is going to happen death.. you think about evrything that you havent done yet you think about your friends and family and how hurt they are going to be that you might not make it you cry for hours on end you are scared that you are leaving it all behind you are fearful of losing your hair losing too much weight those sound self centered or vain but when this is going on it makes you realize how much your looks mean to you and how much you identify with them to who you are. Your entire world is turned upside down because for most of your life you went thru it saying cancer happens to others not me then you get it and you realize that you are the others the others with cancer. the hardest part though is telling your kids they get scared you wont be around for them anymore. But I am here to say its not always a death sentence......
signed
me in remission 5 months and counting

Answer 10

I am angry that I have cancer, because it has disrupted my life,my job, my hom. My body has had more drugs and chemotheraphy pumped into it than I care to think about. I have to face the fact that one day the treatments are not going to be able to stop this monster. I am angry because I am going to die of this, 6 months, 1 yr. 5 yrs, this is going to be the end of me.. I am mad that I will not beable to be here with my loving husband who has seen me through all of this, knowing that at some point he is going to lose me anyway.