I am considering moving in with my boyfriend who is 8 years older than I am. We have only been together about 6 months, but we seem to have a very strong connection. I know my parents would be very against it. They want me to continue my education which mean going to law school, which means big money, which means not being able to afford to pay rent, which means working full time, which means not going to law school. See the circle! But I am sick of only really seeing my beau on the weekend. How do I handle this.
2007-03-28 13:27:26 · 18 answers · asked by toobadfaya 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Wow to the person who said I might be using my boyfriend, WRONG!!! I care about him very much and would never use him to leave my parents house. I am happy with my parents, I just feel like its time for me to move out and be independent and I would like to do that with him.
2007-03-28 13:55:18 · update #1
Again to the people who are rude enough to claim that I am "stupid" and only care about sex. You really think I would go through the trouble of living with someone, yes I know its not easy, for sex. Well no I wouldn't. I can have sex without living with him. This is about us having a strong relationship and me wondering what I should do. I don't plan on picking up and moving tomorrow. Just want to know what my next move should be. Right now I am a caseworker at a care facility and could probably live alone.
2007-03-28 14:00:56 · update #2
Do your own thing. Go to Church if you're not.
2007-03-28 13:30:50 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You toke me down memory lane. I had the choice of getting married, or taking a tip to Hawaii, and then Italy, 3 months in each. I got married. You have only known this man 6 months, and you are looking at the things you like about him. We all do that when we are in love, it is in the time together that we find out what was so cute, is now never wrecking. It seems like a hard decision right now but where do you want to be 5 or 10 years from now. And if he cares so much about you, why doesn't he want you to go to college, and encourage you to do that. And why not marry you instead of live with you? Why not pay for you to go to school? I already know the answer to that one, he either can't or doesn't want you to better your self.
If I cared about you, as your parents do, then I would want you to go to college and be all you are cabable of being. Now if I was selfish I would want you to stay at home and continue to be on my level or less then me. Do you get the point?
2007-03-28 13:40:55 · answer #2 · answered by imarodo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a choice between your education, which will definitely bring you positive gains in your life, or moving in with your boyfriend which is getting in a situation where the out come is not so clear cut. Here you have a chance to have something of substance in your life that provides a valuable need, as opposed to "doing your own thing" which only fulfills your immediate wants.
The only way you should handle this is to separate your emotions from reality and be mature enough to make a rational decision of what is going better benefit you in the long run.
2007-03-28 14:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by quantumview 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask youself a few questions. First, do you really like this guy? It sounds like you may just use him for convenience while you are in law school and that is very wrong. You are going to use him for a place to live and instead of working full-time, sounds like you may work part-time instead. Do you see yourself with him after you become a lawyer? Or will you leave then and break his heart? You handle this by finding another female law student or more to share an apartment with. They are facing the same challenges financially. Maybe you can stay friends with this guy but don't just use him.
2007-03-28 13:33:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's easier to finish your education while you're young instead of trying to go back to school when you have rent, bills, groceries, and perhaps a kid or two to support. It's wonderful that you two have a connection. He just might be the one! Keep in mind, if he's the one, he'll be the one whether you're in school or in his apartment, now or 20 years from now.
He's 8 years older, which means he's probably more settled than you. Wonderful. That means he can consider making some changes in his life to be able to see you more often. If he won't, perhaps it's time to reevaluate the 'connection.'
2007-03-28 13:35:29 · answer #5 · answered by Julie N 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Life is longer than law school! Studies are now showing that if you live together before your married you are now 3 times as likely to end up in a divorce, not to mention that living together is wrong. 6 months you say and only on the weekends, sounds to me like you dont really know this dude, you need more time. Listen to mom and dad they only want the best for you. Dont compound your problems by living with him. Get your life set first, I know you have heard it a million times but its true, " if he loves you he will wait".
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2007-03-28 13:41:21 · answer #6 · answered by drtoolman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not move in with any man that you have only dated for six months. Wait six more months and then have an in-depth discussion with your partner about what both of you expect in this situation.
Look into scholarships, grants, and maybe even a part-time job to be better able to afford law school--unless you don't want to go. If you don't, you need to tighten up your panties and tell your parents how you feel. If you are old enough to go to law school, you are old enough to decide for yourself how to go about living your life.
2007-03-28 13:34:01 · answer #7 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a stupid girl. You know this guy for six months and your wanting to live with him. I don't think this is for love, I think it's for sex. You have the opportunity to make something of your life for yourself - you would actually have more to offer a man than just your snatch and stupid conversation. There really isn't a "circle" - just you going over the same stupid thought process. You know you know what you should do - do it and stop crying about it. Life doesnt get any easier later.
2007-03-28 13:34:47 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Look into student loans for law school, which can also assist with rent payments. You do need to focus on your education, but that does NOT necessarily mean living at home to do it.
Yes, you're going to need to have a job as well as going to school. Yes, it sucks. You'll maybe see your boyfriend less if you move in together. :) But at least your toothbrushes will be in the same bathroom.
2007-03-28 13:31:31 · answer #9 · answered by Jarien 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are young and have alot of life ahead of you to live. Go to school with the support of your boyfriend. if the connection is all that strong, he will understand your decision and wait for you. As he is getting older, he is going to want to settle down and by that time you are going to be in your prime and living life. You might not have the same future plans in mind. I think some closer to your age would be better for you (just my opinion)! If you dont go to school now, you might regret it in 10 years!!
2007-03-28 13:45:00 · answer #10 · answered by bballplaya21 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is totally from my own experience so take it for what it's worth. My daughter decided that she knew what was best for her and eloped with her boyfriend who was 6 years older than her, forgoing her college education for what he wanted and for "LOVE" After 10 years of being used (yes, she let herself be used) and having 3 children, he left her for someone else. There she was without her degree, alone with three young children. Not pretty. Listen to your parents. Communicate your feelings. Set realistic goals and look at the big picture without letting your heart (and your passions) overpower your head.
Best of luck in whatever your decisions may be!
2007-03-28 13:34:43 · answer #11 · answered by oldyogi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋