How is the best way (theoretically) to deal with anger?

Question

i have a bad temper

Answer 1

Theoretically huh. Sounds like you are very intellectual and can cognitively process your issue with anger. That is good. A lot of people can't. The best way to deal with anger is to make an action plan for yourself. For instance. I call them firedrills. If you feel like raging on someone, you will:
1. Hold my breath or tongue for five minutes.
2. Take myself out of the area of this person who has triggered my rage.
3. Verbally tell the person that your temper is getting high and that you need to finish talking later when you are feeling more in control.
4. Call someone
5. Just walk away

Like a fire you would have an escape plan. You need that for your anger. And you need to get in to an anger prevention group or you need to get a book on how to deal with anger. Amazon.com has alot of books that could help you out. Because ultimately you need to find out what is behind your anger.

It is never what is currently making you mad. I was driving home from work the other day and just out of the blue I yelled out something to the driver in front of me. It caught me off guard. I began to realize that i wasn't really angry at the driver I was angry because a guy at work called me honey. I didn't know how to deal with that so I STUFFED IT. Like most of us do. So it's not that people are pushing our buttons. It is we are allowing people to push our buttons. Stuffing is not good. good luck.

Answer 2

Try to make a rule that you'll never be angry with person A because of something that happened with person B. That's a good rule on its own account and the first step to managing your anger.

Then you could try reading a book like 'I'm OK - You're OK,' which is full of useful tips on life in general and anger in particular.

Then - if you're successful - learn to put your anger (not your temper) into the service of people weaker and less well able to defend themselves. Take someone like Bob Geldof as a role model, if that appeals.

Good luck. Have a good life.

Answer 3

I'll just tell you this, when the anger stays inside, you'll exploe into a rage that you will no longer be able to control and you will probably go into a hatred and extremely depressed mood for about 2 weeks, so just calm down, get things on other people's perspectives, and don't let the anger build up, cause if it does, you will have no control.

Answer 4

The old fashioned way my mother taught me was to, "count to ten" after the surge of anger arises in you and before you blurt something out or lash out. On each count recall something negative that will happen to you if you do say or do something and by the time you're finished your anger should start to cool.

It has worked for me many times and the "pickles" I have avoided by cooling off have usually allowed me to do something positive toward whomever made me mad. That has led to many friendships.

Good luck, good health, peace and love!

Answer 5

i think the best way to deal with your anger is to talk it out with that person. but if you know that you are going to get more angry and blow up, i suggest you go run around the block or go to the gym and hit the bags for awhile until your calm and okay to talk. if not you will make the situation escalade to another level.

Answer 6

there is a technique called "self-awareness." Put yourself to think about your emotion first before you act on it. I have had bad temper since young. After reading all these psychological books, I'm improving.

Answer 7

Understanding is the antithesis of anger. If a person's words or actions make you angry, try instead of asking yourself "how could they?!" Try "why would they?" If a situation makes you angry it could be you feel that you have no power, leave it alone, or think how you can handle it more effectively.

Answer 8

I wish I knew, but there's different things for different people, and there's some people nothing goes with them... The best way is to do what's working for you. research find the source, take a deep breath, and good luck!

Answer 9

Find out why your buttons are being pushed. Once you know that--it is easier to deal with the anger.

Answer 10

Choose your battles......anger, in and of itself is not a bad thing, but only when it is needed and appropriate..generally speaking anger is from fear, and only you can know what you are afraid of...it takes thought to get to the bottom of it all...good luck.JMO