My parents are against me living with my girlfriend without being married. They are very strict and have a strong religous background. If I told them they would look the other way as if i let them down.
2007-03-28 13:01:10 · 22 answers · asked by Court 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am Christian Parent of 6 children. Three are now independent, one lives with his Girlfriend. He was very nervous about telling me that they wanted to move in together.
I have always told my children that there is nothing so bad that could happen that they could not discuss with me. When he finally told me that they were moving in together I was not thrilled, however I know they are in love and committed to each other. I was unhappy about his decision at the start, however I have warmed to the idea, and realise that we are not living in the dark ages any more. I have to move with the times...lol. It was his life and I had to take a step back and let him decide what was right for him.
I would not keep this secret from your parents. They are much more likey to be upset about finding out about your living situation second hand, than the fact that you live together. ( I would have been devestated if I had heard this news from one of my son's friends).
They may not like the decision you have made, but as your parents they should accept it. You should live up to your own expectations and not those of others. If you do what everyone else wants of you, you are going to be miserable.
Talk to your parents and tell them how you feel. Be open and honest with them. Tell them that this is YOUR decision and although they may not like it, that you would like them to respect your decision.
Good luck with telling them
Sharon
2007-03-28 13:17:22 · answer #1 · answered by schmoo_withazing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it seems to me that you were brought up correctly. Now my question to you is what are you going to do with all that hard work your parents done for you? Living with a girl outside of marriage is wrong. It is never okay to do the wrong thing. How long do you think you can hide this? Not to mention the guilt you are having, and dont even try to tell me that you dont feel guilty, if you werent you wouldnt have posted this question, all you are looking for is approval.
Get out of the live-in relationship get your own place or go home. Marry the girl if you love her and stop running from commitment. Be a man for cring out loud. If living with her is what you are going to do then tell your parents at least you can respect yourself for not letting them hear it from someone else. Once again be a man, the world needs more of us.
Before you begin to think Im bustin your chops I lived with my wife for 8 months before we were married. The reasons dont matter it was still wrong. Do the right thing, there are enough people in the world doing the wrong things already.
good luck
D
2007-03-28 20:35:55 · answer #2 · answered by drtoolman 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are Courtney and you are a girl, why the hell are you living with your girlfriend. No matter you wouldn't want to tell your parents - they'd think you were depraved and rightly so. If you are Courtney and you are a guy, why are you still doing something that you know would break their hearts for this reason: you have not intention of marrying this girl. If you did, you simply would and you'd enjoy your parent's approval! If you're a lesbo, it comes down to masturbation being the reason - in the case of heterosexuals, there is sex with the possiblity of an actual lineage being created - of course your parents are going to disapprove. Who wants a grandchild out of wedlock - or worse, a relationship based on sex going to the marriage stage when it could have been done so much differently - and doomed to fail, because of pregnancy forcing the issue.
2007-03-28 20:13:09 · answer #3 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It never ceases to amaze that the people with the strongest religious background are the most intolerant lot of all. When the truth is that God, and Christ were not intolerant themselves. Christ especially was open to everyone, and welcomed everyone. Interesting. At any rate, if you felt strongly enough to live with your girlfriend, then you must also have the spine to tell your parents about it. You can't lie forever, nor should you. It's a ridiculous way to live. Just tell them. What they feel, they feel.
Then, no matter what..move on with your life. Adulthood is a sticky business, but one we must all get one with sooner or later. Good luck to you.
2007-03-28 20:16:28 · answer #4 · answered by teacupn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heres what i would do. What happens if your parents find out? Wouldn't you be in even more trouble because you lied. If your over 18 your considered an adult and you should be able to live where ever you want. When exactly are you getting married. If its pretty soon maybe obey your parents and don't live with your girlfriend and then everyday visit her. It's your choice. I just hope everything with your parents turns out ok.
2007-03-28 20:08:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
How old are you? If you are an adult then regardless of how dissapointed ur parents may feel, let them understand ur decision. I know there are several good reasons why unmarried couples should not live together but there are also benefits too. For example, you will understand the other person's habits and be better able to decide if you can live with their habits and tendencies. Let your parents understand your reasons for wanting to live with ur girlfriend and I know u don't want to have a bad relationship with them but eventually they will have to learn to respect ur wishes and not be selfish.
2007-03-28 20:08:19 · answer #6 · answered by Sandra F 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They will eventually find out.Theres something you need to realize."I love you " is NOT a comittment, SEX is NOT a committment, shacking up is NOT a committment."I do" is a committment of love.Anything else is an audition which usually ends badly.The bible calls shacking up"chambering".It is wrong and it is a sin and if you dont believe it, visit the welfare offices and the projects and low income apt buildings and look athe kids who are raised in shacked job homes.Most of them go to jail later on, they end up being molested by one of mom's shack up studs etc.Hope youll at least marry before having kids.
2007-03-28 20:21:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't you think they will be more disappointed to find out you haven't been honest with them?
If your parents are no longer paying your bills, they have no real room to be angry. If they ARE paying your bills, you need to let them know so they can stop paying for the two of you to live together.
They need to be given the choice to accept your choice.
2007-03-28 20:24:14 · answer #8 · answered by kelannde 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Several things:
*You are an adult. As such, you shouldn't do anything you have to lie about.
*If you are old enough to live with a girlfriend, you are old enough to know that you don't need your parents' permission or approval to live your life as you see fit.
*Turning your girlfriend into a dirty little secret is disrespectful to her.
That said, do what seems good to you.
2007-03-28 20:06:46 · answer #9 · answered by e_d_ellis2004 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why hide you have to live some where,why not let it be your g/f,it's your life live it the way you want, and be happy ,if they turn there back that easy there's no love there to begin with,it will be there lose,maybe some day their will be grad kids and it will be there lost.
2007-03-28 20:08:33 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋