how do i stop thinking of the kids as a handicapt?

Question

i love my kids very much but noticed since having them that they have slowed me down a lot and made simple things much more complicated. how do i get over the extra effort and work it takes to do ANYTHING...like:

going to the gym
going back to school
going back to work
spending time with my husband

without neglecting them and also without spending a FORTUNE in daycare and babysitting fee's. daycare here cost's $1,200 a month for the 2 kids, that's more than a morgage payment.

PLEASE HELP!

Answer 1

remember how lucky you are to be able to have them. There are many women that never get to experience motherhood. It is great to have time to yourself, but why think of your babies as a handicap? You brought them into this world knowing that children take up much of your time and life. Enjoy them now. There will be plenty of time later on for the gym..when they are older and view you as a handicap. Kids are not kids forever.

Answer 2

Things don't necessarily become complicated just because you have kids. You have to learn to adjust what you want to do. So you can't go to the gym.. buy some home gym equipment. You can go to school when they are in school or you can take online classes. If daycare is too expensive, then why not work nights after your husband comes home? And you spend time with your husband with your kids as a family and alone with him once they've gone to bed. Stop being so selfish and appreciate that you have two healthy children. My first child was stillborn and I'd give anything to have her in my life.

Answer 3

As they grow you will grow and learn too. I had to stop going to the gym and worked out at home or walked at the park. I had to wait until they were all in school before I went back to school. Spending time with my significant other has always been squeezed in around the children's schedule. As far as work goes, if the cost of child care out weighs your net income than maybe that is not the appropriate job for the time being. Also, maybe try checking around at different child care facilities to see if the cost may be lower elsewhere. As they get older it does get a whole lot easier. Good Luck.

Answer 4

I'd hate to say this, but it sounds like you're being selfish. You were blessed in having children, and as hard as it is sometimes, they should be your #1 priority (under your husband). Having children means you have to sacrifice alot of yourself, to insure you are raising moral, level-headed, intelligent people. You can workout, take walks, go on a run with a jogger, not only do you get a workout in, but you also have time (that is SO valuable to them) together. Family should be at the top of the list. No one said having kids was easy, or always fun, but they do enrich your life in ways no one or nothing else can. There is nothing more satisfying then pictures on the fridge, bedtime stories and prayers, and watching your babies grow day by day.

Answer 5

Sorry but that's what being a parent is all about.

For the next 18 years it's not about you, it's about your kids.

Try giving up the gym and buying a stepper at home and working out when the kids go to bed.

For school, I don't know what to tell you , my mom did it, but she had to wait until we were almost in high school......not saying tha'ts what you have to do, but its somethign you and your husband will have to figure out.

I think it's a good thing kids do slow us down....as adults we always try to do too much too fast.....we should learn to slow down in life.

Answer 6

sounds like you need to grow up look at me I'm a 17 year old mom with two kids and i still finished school and i am going to nurse school in the fall my husbands in the army and he's not around a lot of the time so i have to do it my self. i still workout i do it at home when the kids are napping, i still spend time with my husband we stay in and watch a movie when the kids are in bed, and i will go to work once there in school. you just need to find a balance to things, you don't have to go to the gym to work out do it at home, you don't have to go out with your husband cook a nice dinner at home and watch a movie after there asleep, enjoy them while there young they will never be that age again.

Answer 7

It just sounds like you need better time management. Every night before you go to bed make sure you plan for the next day. Make sure diaper bags, lunches, and extra clothes are packed. Make sure you have their clothes laid out and ready to go in the morning.

We always make sure our children are in bed by 8:00 PM so we can have some alone time together.

Good luck to you and remember, it is very normal to feel overwhelmed. We have all been there!

Answer 8

I can't believe that amee (the poster above me) said that her husband comes before her kids. To me that is just ridiculous. My kids come before anyone or anything--including my husband.

I have 3 kids, and yeah, they cost a fortune. But thats something you should have considered before having them. You sound very selfish and you should consider how those children would feel if they heard you say such things. I would spend my VERY last dime on my kids if I had to.

Answer 9

I feel for you, you shouldn't have had kids but you did. Now you're going to have to do your best to make it work. Maybe you can find friends to swap babysitting with?

Answer 10

i hate to say this but, you're being very selfish. we'd all like to have more time for ourselves after we have kids but the truth is, they dominate our lives. what you need to get over is you. enjoy them while you can. having a little time for yourself is a good thing. it makes for a better mom. but you need to remember, nothing is going to be simple anymore.