my wedding have a few issues please help me?

Question

issue #1 i am on a tight budget and me and fiance r paying 4 everything, is it ok to make my save the dates and invitations? issue #2 we have 2 friendss that just broke up we cant say one can come and not the other how can we resolve this they are hating each other but they r our friends, finally my mom is being pushy on things that i want 4 MY wedding she isnt paying 4 anything except the cake but she say no to this and no to that how do i tell her to stop without hurting her feelings aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa i am going nuts weddings in like 7 months....

Answer 1

Yes, it's okay to make your own invites.

Invite both friends, they should put their differences aside and come for "you", and they shouldn't decide by who else is coming to the wedding. Let them deal with this.

Tell your mother what you want. She has to respect that you're an adult now and not a child.

Subconsciously she is trying to relive her life through yours.
And that's not right. YOu have to live your own life.

Answer 2

You don't need save-the-date cards. Just make the invitations simple and to the point. They can still be elegant without spending a lot of money.

The best way to cut costs is to cut invites. Invite only close family and friends (not co-workers, casual acquaintances, etc.) Some people might be disappointed, but if you tell them you have a limited budget, then they will understand. Invite your close friends separately, give them the choice wether to come or not, don't be offended if they don't come, it is their problems that they are dealing with. I had a close friend who didn't come because she and her husband had just decided to get divorced and she didn't think she could handle being there. That was her problem, I didn't hold it against her. Let your friends worry about their ex showing up, it isn't your problem. Focus on being happy about who shows up, don't dwell on those who can't make it.

As far as your mother goes, that is a delicate situation. Tell her that you appreciate her input but you have decided on this or that anyway, then point out something that you did follow her advice on to change the subject. For example "..but you were right about the flowers, tulips are go so much better in that arrangement than the irises" or whatever to bring attention back to where she did contribute. Even if she was paying for all the wedding she shouldn't be that controlling. It is your wedding, after all, and you are the one who should be happy with it. Another way to get her to be less controlling is to give her projects to do like addressing invitations or making favors. Also, try going shopping for things with your bridesmaids instead of you mom sometimes. Bring her along when you're looking at stuff, but tell her you have to think about it or talk it over with your fiance, then go back to actually finalize or purchase things when you're with your bridesmaids or by yourself. If she says anything, just tell her that it's already done and you have too much left to do to dwell on what has already been decided upon. Make sure to thank her for what she does even if it isn't as much as you were expecting. Let her know you appreciate her in any way she can contribute.

Don't forget to breathe. Your wedding is one day and it will be special no matter what.

Answer 3

Making a lot of things for your wedding will be great for someone who is on a budget. If you wedding is only 7 months away though, you don't need save the date cards. Those are only used when the wedding is a long ways away. For the issue with your friends, invite them both. Just make sure they each can bring a guest and sit them at opposite ends of the hall. As for your third issue. just completely ignore your mom. Just say, "no, this is what I am going to, end of story". The best advice anyone ever gave me was to do everything the way I want to no matter what anyone else says or thinks. If she can't understand that its your wedding, then shes crazy.

Answer 4

Ok, one issue at a time.

It is perfectly fine to make your own invitations. Realize that the style of your invites sets the tone for your wedding--so if you want casual, make casual invites. If you want formal, make formal invites. It's fine.

Second, put both on your list and if they're still "hating each other" by the time you send out your invites (6-8 weeks before your wedding), then you'll have to make a choice. Invite them both and hope they'll be mature enough to put their differences aside for your special day or choose the one that you both are closer with and realize that you may lose the friendship with the one you don't invite. You could also choose to invite neither and that way neither gets more hurt, but you'd run the risk of ruining both friendships.

Third, sit your mom down and explain to her that while you appreciate her input, she needs to understand that this is YOUR wedding and it will be done the way you like it. However, are you just shutting out her suggestions because she's not paying? She may have some great ideas. Listen to what she has to say and you may benefit, but then again, she could just be being a butt-in-ski, in which case, nicely explain to her that while you appreciate her suggestions, you've got your own ideas and since you're paying for your own wedding you'd like to see things done the way you want them.

And lastly, relax! If you're this stressed now, you'll be a million times worse by the time you actually walk down the aisle. Don't make issues out of things that aren't issues. Just enjoy this process! You only get to do it once.

Congrats!

Answer 5

#1. Yes, make as many things yourself as you possibly can. Not only will the things be cheaper, but they'll be more special too.

#2. Invite both friends and let them both bring a date (if you're allowing single people to bring dates). They will probably hate each other less by the time the wedding roles around, and even if they do hate each other then, they're unlikely to fight at your wedding. Don't choose between them; stay friends with them both.

#3. Stop telling your mom your plans. If she doesn't know what flowers you're getting or what the meal is, then she can't object to them. If she isn't paying, then she doesn't need to know what's being done.

Answer 6

You should make your own save the date cards... the ones they sell are ugly and over-priced. If you're creative, make the invitations, too.

7 months from now, your 2 friends hopefully will become more civil toward each other. AND, your mom should mellow out soon too. When did you start planning? It sounds like you started recently. Don't worry, once you get the major things out of the way, you'll be able to relax. I don't know about your mom, but it's your wedding and you need to do whatever it takes to make sure that you enjoy your day and make it a day to remember!

Answer 7

First, where r u planning to have your wedding? And how much is that "tight budget" that u have?
If its in the philippines, u can have an elegant wedding at around 150,000(100pax) inclusive of everything from invitation to the priest that will officiate your wedding. The budget will always depend on the style and the # of guest you plan to have. 2nd issue, just do your part. Invite both of them and if one of them did not turn up then it's fine...maybe they are not ready yet to see each other. Finally, explain toyour mom that you want her to be the most beautiful mom on your wedding and you don't want her to worry about anything.
I hope it helps.

Answer 8

1) Do it yourself invitations have become very popular because they are often more reflective of the couple and they can save a fair amount of money. While many people say to only use save the dates for weddings 10 months or more out, I would highly recommend sending them to those you REALLY want to attend and any out of town guests. Airline tickets are often variable in cost and this would allow them to start getting a feel for that expense. The key is to keep things simple. If you don't know how to correctly tear a decorative edge (for example) I wouldn't recommend practicing on your wedding invitations.
2) Invite both friends but plan for them to be seated at different tables during the reception. I always recommend having a couple of friends or family members who are willing to be "security", especially if there's alchohol being served. If people get out of hand, then they just politely pull them aside and ask them to calm down. It doesn't have to be a big dramatic scene even if the two ex's do decide to pitch a fit. I would also speak with them privately and tell them that it's important for you that they be there and ask them if they could please try to amiable for your wedding.
3) Mothers are often fun to deal with and I dread nothing as much as the "Please make my mom go away!" phone call. If you are paying for your own wedding, then simply sit your mom down and let her know that since you are paying for it, you are making all the final decisions. Just remember not to throw something out because your mom suggested it. On the other hand, if this is becoming way to much for you to deal with, you might want to consider not talking to your mom about wedding plans.

Answer 9

first of all, RELAX! there is only so much you can do at one time! now, for issue 1, yes you can. go to michaels, it is cheaper, and get those kits you can use on a computer. save coupons and buy one box at a time. make save the date magnets, it's cheap and creative. issue 2, invite them both! if they can't be mature enough to be civil at your wedding, they didn't need to come in the first place and are not really your friends. issue 3, tell your mom you appreciate her suggestions, but this is your day! you only get one wedding, she has had her day! tell her you love her very much and want her to be involved, but you need her to back up just a little! everything will be fine, i promise! god bless you and the wedding, and your fiance. best wishes!

Answer 10

Hello Miss Bride-to-be. First things first. As a soon to be, very independant woman, now is a fine time to set the pace for parental advice. If you can conquer it now, you and your husband will not feel railroaded later, all the time. I suggest you gently listen to your Mother's wants and wishes, thank her for them and tell her you will use her information along with yours and your husbands, to ponder the best route for you and your husband. You don't need to give her firm answers at the time of her request. In this way she will see she must let her opinion lay still while you decide which pieces of it to best use for you.

Next, the same concept holds true with friends. You invite all you wish to invite. It is THEIR issue on how to resolve it. Good friends overlook problems a bad friend for the good friend's sake. Period. All three of you could be there and have a good time if all of you chose to. Leave it up to them. Your job is to be the Bride, not Dear Abby.

Yes, of course you can make your save the date cards. I suggest looking into www.vistaprint.com. It'll take you an afternoon to process them, but the price is great and so is the product.

Relax, have fun. Set the pieces in place where you want them and let the good and true friends and family decide on their own to come and enjoy your celebration of love. Keep your eyes and heart on your man, your goal and let all of the rest just be as silly as it is :)

Answer 11

Sounds so familar I'm in a similar situation myself. it is perfectly fine to print your own invites. there are plenty of websites you can look at as a template or maybe even grab a stack of printable invites from micheal's that'll use your printer at home. way cheaper and does the job.
as for the friends if they are your friends they would both come. you shouldn't chose. if it's really that serious invite them both and let them choose who comes and who stays.
your mom is just being a mom. give her a task so she can feel included in the plans. other than that try not to make a scene out of it, it's an important day for her too. just politely tell her your side of things and she's bound to understand.

best wishes!