How do you discuss with your parents their plans for retirement living?

Question

At what age do you think it's appropriate to bring this up?
If you have brought up the question of where and how would they like to live when they retire, what has been their response?
What advice would you give other children about caring for their parents as they become older and less able to care for themselves?

Answer 1

I think this conversation should be had around age fifty. Based on my observations, I also think it's important for the parents to designate who will be power of attorney/guardian in case of disability or serious illness. Living arrangements are equally important. They should prearrange for where they would like to live, is the house to be sold, with whom should they live, etc. Caring for elderly parents can be very stressful. Often, the caregiver feels burned out, frustrated and inadequate. If the parents don't plan well, the burden falls on the children/caregiver who might also be aging. Sometimes the caregiver's quality of life is seriously compromised because they (the caregivers) have to set aside their own life plans for the elderly parents who have already lived their lives. Often it is when they are at the prime of their lives, having raised their own children and looking forward to a peaceful life, only to have to take on the formidable task. The parents need to adequately prepare so that they do not become a burden to their children. People could argue about this forever, by insisting that children should be glad to care for their elderly parents. In a perfect world, that would be the right thing to do, but we all know that it's easier said than done.

Answer 2

My opinion. I think any age is appropriate. And I think it is an issue that should be discussed. I have found that people of the older generation do not mind discussing the subject--in fact, I'm thinking they would appreciate someone thinking enough of them to discuss it with them.
I have seen some families welcome parents into their home. Sometimes in a little apartment attached to their home (perhaps built on for this purpose) or a small dwelling close by their home.

Answer 3

My parents are in their early 60's and I have brought this up to them. They are planning on retiring in 3 years. My parents are still debating where they are going to live, right now they are in southern Florida which is too costly to live on their retirement income and Social Security. They are thinking about moving to Georgia or the Carolinas where it is cheaper to live. I asked my Dad, what are you going to do when you two can no longer take care of yourselves. He did not know. I said, well which one of us kids do you think is going to help take care of you. I know I will be the one that takes care of them is why I asked. I suggested that they retire and move near me and my family, but they do not want to move to Alaska.
As far as advice, dont be afraid to talk to your parents about them retiring and getting older.