I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. He has been the only boyfriend I have ever had. I am a very jealous person, and it has damaged out relationship. He used to look at women on the internet, and I asked him repeatedly to stop and he wouldn't. He lied to me dozens of times about it, and I poured my heart out to him to tell him how much it hurt me but he didnt stop for over almost 2 years. He has lied about other smaller things, but he says he doesnt lie about girls anymore, that he no longer looks at them in person or at pictures in respect to my feelings. He also has a horrible temper. He lashes out on me because of my jealousy, he calls me filthy names, he curses even if I ask him not to, etc. But when his temper does not flare up, he is so sweet and wonderful, and he swears he can't control himself when his temper gets high. I want to know, if I am being naive in thinking he has changed. I know he controls his temper sometimes. I wish I could know if he still lies.
2007-03-28 12:32:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Half the time I feel like we are meant for eachother, that he is the one, and the other half of the time I feel like I could do better. I moved from NY to WA to be with him, and a few times I have tried to go back home, but everytime that happens I always wind up staying, because it is just so hard to leave. When that happens, I feel like, well maybe every couple goes through things like this, but I just dont know. I have been hurt so much by him that it is hard to trust him. I wonder constantly if he is looking at other women at his work, looking at pictures somehow... Just doing mean things behind my back. He is a very good liar, it is hard to tell. Thank you so very much for everyones help.
2007-03-28 12:51:44 · update #1
This sounds like a touchy situation. As a woman to another woman, though I'm inclined to say that it sounds like you deserve better. Not being able to control his temper could be something he legitimately needs help with and someone by his side. But looking at other women and lying to you? That sounds bad to me, especially if you've talked about it to him and he continued to do the hurtful things for 2 whole years afterwards. Listen to your heart, and if it feels wrong, it might be better to have loved and lost, in this situation. Good luck.
2007-03-28 12:37:36 · answer #1 · answered by YoungShyCareerGirl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody can possibly answer that question for you. Only you can.YOu have to lok deep into your heart and contemplate. Can you put up with his temper? Would you want your daughter to have a boyfriend who does that. Could he be abusive? ANd if after considering all of that you still decide you wan tto be with him..maybe the two of you can go to some counsling or something. HE may have hidden anger or so much built up from his past.
2007-03-28 19:38:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you shouldn't be with someone that is gonna do that to you. You need to find somebody that doesn't have a temper. And you may never know, the next step he'll be hitting on you. You shouldn't be involved with something like that. And you've gone out with him for a long time, is because, he says he loves you and never wants to give you up. So, what I think is you need to break up with him, that's the best decision.
I hoped I helped
Good Luck!
2007-03-28 19:52:53 · answer #3 · answered by TempoBronze124 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
woow.. this is a bad situation.. get out of it.. i would normaly suggest to think hard about it.. and imagin not being with him.. now how do you feel... well if he is your first.. you will cry no matter what..and he treats you like ****.. realy.. he can control himself.. he just doesnt want to and you are easy to believe him so he can easily lie to you... i believe in the future.. he may start to hit you and hurt you.. and then just say.. sorry i cant control myself and make you believe it was your fault cause you made him mad.. this happens a lot.. and then those women need to go to special homes and be rehubilitated into the world again.. cause normaly they dont get out until they sort of old.. mid 30's.. dont be like this.. he sounds like he is going down the wrong path.. i would walk with him down it.. i know many girls always say that.. he is so nice when he is nice and mean when he is mean.. and it realy never works out.. or they just feel stuck cause if there in to long there scared to leave cause he my hurt them if they leave him.. so thats why im saying.. get out while you still can.. i dont want you to get hurt just like any other female. good luck.. need anything else contact me
2007-03-28 19:44:56 · answer #4 · answered by Dr.Icebreaker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie get out while you can. i stayed ande am now married to someone like that. we have 2 boys who i am getting out of here. after 5 years dating then 5 years married ive had enough. im 39 and have to start all over again. it may hurt a bit but when you meet someone who treats who properly youll see he was more of a bad habit. he obviously likes making you jealous or it wouldnt have taken him so long to stop hurting you. it will only get worse im sorry to say.
2007-03-28 19:38:15 · answer #5 · answered by jennifer c 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simple answer which you won't like or think will help but I swear it's true.
If you truly loved him and weren't going through the motions, you'd know he's the one. There wouldn't be any doubt in your mind. It's that simple, there's never a question or concern.
2007-03-28 19:36:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds dodgy to me... has he ever tried anger management? If not, then suggest that or something similar. If he just yells at you for it and hits you and stuff like that... LEAVE him. NOW. If, however, he genuinely does want help (and ISN'T just going through the mpotions)... then maybe.
2007-03-28 19:38:21 · answer #7 · answered by swelwynemma 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've gotta have experience with other guys to know for sure. just try going out and see if anything changes.
2007-03-28 19:39:40 · answer #8 · answered by schneb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just wait and see i know u have a good futer god gave u the strenth to be here and have a good life
2007-03-28 19:37:06 · answer #9 · answered by cartercarlisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no u read right time to move on girl
2007-03-28 19:38:19 · answer #10 · answered by imneiflim 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋