If I get married through city hall, is that license valid if later we want to get married through church?

Question

My fiance and I have been together for 3 years (It will be in July). We have set the date (12/26/08) and are getting all the preparations in order. But now our pastor (its a baptist church) is having a problem with us living together, because we are having premarital sex (understandable 100%). We love the pastor, we love the church so we don't want to just switch churches, he wants us to move apart.
We've recently (Feb.07) moved in together officially and we really don't want to move away from each other. We always said we would live together 2 years before we "tied the knot". Now the only solution we see, other then lying to the pastor (which I am completely against) or finding a new church, is getting married through city hall and then doing it through the church next year as planned.

Does anyone know? Is that allowed? Or would that be considered that I am married twice? Is me being married at city hall valid at church? Anyone have any other suggestions?

Answer 1

Once you have your civil ceremony at city hall and file your marriage license you will be officially married. You cannot use your marriage license once it has been signed and filed. Since you will be officially married, if you decide to have a second ceremony at church, it will be an affirmation of vows (vow renewal). You cannot be issued a second license if you are currently married. A lot of people have a civil ceremony followed by a church ceremony to affirm their vows.

If really want a church ceremony, talk with your pastor to see if he will perform the ceremony. Often times minister's will still perform the ceremony even though they may advise that you live separately. After talking with him, if he's opposed to performing your ceremony, search for another minister who will. You can still have a church ceremony despite your living arrangements.

Answer 2

Once you are married, you're married. Whether is is by a judge or a minister.
There are no do-overs.
You can have a vow renewal but unless there has been a death or divorce, there is no second marriage. The license is only good for the 30-90 days issued. You do not need a marriage license for a vow renewal.

For some reason Pastors think that if you don't live together, you won't be having sex. How they come to this I'll never know. There are many who have NEVER co-habitated that do it like rabbits. And there have been some who have lived together but actually managed to not have sex until they wed.

Lying is never a good idea. Not a good way to start a marriage. Find another solution.

Answer 3

OMG, can I just tell you how my fiance and I just went through this? No joke.

Okay we too are living together and our Pastor required we move out immediately. Well I'm certainly not down with that. My fiance was passionate about getting married through his church, but what do you do?

Well what we decided was to just have a non-denominational Reverend marry us. It gives us the freedom to script the vows and verbage of the ceremony. Granted it's not what he originally wanted but you have to think about what you're willing to negotiate on.

To answer your question yes your marriage is completely legit if you getting married in city hall. It will then be official, then when you do it in the church it's just a ceremony. Perhaps this is a bad choice of words but it will be a "performance" for the family and friends.

My cousins did this as well and no one even knew they were already married.

Answer 4

You will be married. It is like renewing your wedding vows in the church. It will not be the same because you will already be legally married through city hall. I guess it will ultimately depend on how strong your religious beliefs are and if you want a church to tell you what to do with your life.

Answer 5

you have to be married by city hall to get married by church of course u could do that u have to!!!! that's what i did. my mom bought a house and i got married the same day because i knew that i didn't want to live with my now husband without being married but i didn't have the money to have a beautiful church wedding so i got married by city hall and now we're saving to have our church wedding!!!
good luck

Answer 6

What you are planning is to have your wedding at city hall. Then in 2008, you are planning a vow renewal. That is what I am doing. I am loving this and I hope it works for you!! GOOD LUCK!!!!! Oh, and I think you have made a good choice not lying to the pastor ;)

Answer 7

Yes its perfectly legal to get married at city hall, its done all the time. Its probably more legal than church. I don't know what to tell you about your pastor, i would say its a little late to be concerned how he feels about it all.

Answer 8

getting married at city hall is fine and then having a church wedding is fine too, but isnt it kida defeating the purpose. everyone will know ur already married so what the point. having it at church is for a ceremony.

Answer 9

I have no idea how that would work.....

Why don't you ask for a list of justice of the peace's that can marry you? You don't need to have the ceremony at the court house. You can have it in a garden, in a hall, whatever you want. This way, you can still have a big religious ceremony if you want.

That's what my mom did. They picked a justice of the peace and they came to the house to perform the ceremony in our backyard. They didn't want a religious ceremony, so he kept it really basic. But you can do whatever you want.

Answer 10

these are two different things

city hall is the legal way.
church wedding is the spiritual way

usually people have the civil and then they have the church wedding.

my church wedding is in one year, and i was married by the civil court last year