My ex gf of 4 years wants to get back together but I don't think I'm ready for a serious relationship again. We broke up a few months ago and I think I'm too afraid of the commitment. She's telling me that she is having a terrible time dealing with this and wants to get back together or move on because me being in her life but not as her bf is too hard for her. I love her to death and want her to be happy but I don't think I can be there for her right now like I used to. Do I suck it up and start the relationship back up or do I stick with my gut and let her move on. I really don't know what to do, I don't want to lose her but I don't want to see her in pain like this. I need help, fast...
2007-03-28 11:52:59 · 33 answers · asked by maximabullet 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
ALWAYS stick with your gut feeling. if you cant give the relationship your all, then dont even try, you'll be wasting your time and hers. let her go, give yourself time to collect your thoughts and go on from there. if in time you want nothing more than to be with her and shes willing to give it another go, then try it out. but as for now, id go with your gut.
2007-03-28 11:58:52 · answer #1 · answered by candi b 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-05-07 17:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-20 00:44:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change is always uncomfortable. The problem with getting back together is that the difficulties you had which caused you to break up will arise again. You would still have to deal with that once the novelty of getting back together wore off. It just isn't worth it, and it will only drag out the inevitable, that you weren't meant to be together right now. You need to resist the urge to do this, and try to help her out of your life, in a polite way. Otherwise, maybe she needs some counseling to cope with being alone again. Some are more stable than others. Maybe she is just afraid and has no cinfidence in herself. How is her self-esteem? That plays a huge part on women's decisions, all the time. Good luck. :-)
2007-03-28 11:57:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hun you've gotta be selfish here. What do you feel is right for you? If you're not ready to jump right back into it after having your heart broken, don't go back into it. Just because she feels guilty for leaving a great guy like yourself is no reason you should have to suffer because of her, more so.
Stick with your gut on this one and don't look back. Keep your chin up, you deserve way better. Good luck
2007-03-28 11:58:41 · answer #5 · answered by toronto_leafs 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you get back with her, you're going to end up kicking yourself for it. As you said, you're too afraid of the commitment - you guys were together for four years, so if you get back together now, you are just going to jump right back in to a serious relationship. As hard is it may be, my advice is to just let her go. She may not be able to see you for a while because it will be too hard for her, but it will probably be the best for both of you. You will both move on and learn to live independently; if, after a while, she is okay with seeing you (or you two want to get back together once you are ready), that might work. But honestly, you two will probably end up getting on with your lives.
It's gonna be hard for a while, but it'll be okay in the end =)
I know you don't want her to hurt, but just remember that you are hurting too, and make sure she knows that. It's not just about her - it's tough for both of you.
2007-03-28 11:59:03 · answer #6 · answered by Delvala 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are feeling this way now it simply will not work. You can't get back together with her right now and she'll have to decide for herself whether she moves on or waits. Everybody deserves a little time. Especially when it's double jeopardy!
2007-03-28 11:57:53 · answer #7 · answered by AK 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is feeling that way and you are not then you need to let her go. Don't allow her to feel that kind of pain. Tell her that it's over. It is selfish of you to allow her feelings to still be there just because u don't want to lose her. I have been through this experience and had the worst pain of my life. I finally told him not to answer my calls anymore and not to call me. It hurt more than anything I have ever been through....but I am better for it now.
2007-03-28 11:57:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you go back with her, you will only hurt her because you don't really want to be there. Tell her you know that you aren't good for her and for her own sake YOU want to move on. You can't have it both ways.
2007-03-28 11:57:41 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
My outlook on relationships is: Why be in a relationship if you dont see a future in the relationship?
If you dont see yourself with her in the future, after being with her for 4 years, then let her go. As much as that sucks to get rid of someone who you will miss so much you cant be selfish. And if splitting up forever doesnt feel right then maybe you should re-think whether or not youre ready to be with her again. Maybe youre meant-to-be.
Its all love man. Through thick and thin.
2007-03-28 12:03:42 · answer #10 · answered by th1st1me1mperfect 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you start it back up there need to be some big changes, it can't go back to being exactly like it was. If you can't make those changes, don't go back yet.
2007-03-28 11:57:13 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋