What is the customary gift?

Question

My husband and I were having a bit of a debate last night and I need your help to solve it. What is the customary gift to give at a wedding? I of course think it dpends upon what you can afford, but standard I think would be $50 a person. He believes that it should be $100 per person. What is the standard, if any? Does it depend upon the relation of the newlyweds? And also,. what is the standard gift for a christening from grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. Thanks in advance

Of course I know it comes from the heart...everyone is always soo quick to make a villan out of someone else...I'm talking standard etiquette

Answer 1

I do not think there is really a standard, however, I read recently that the guest is supposed to figure out what the wedding costs per head, and that should be the minimum standard. I do not agree with that. I should not feel that I have to pay for limosines, over the top designer cakes and gowns. If the bride wants those things, fine. But I should not have to feel I have to pay for them. These days, the couple doesn't want gifts, they want money, to pay off the fancy wedding. A long time ago, it was what your meal and the drinks and the reception entertainment might cost as the minimum standard.
I think we should go back to the good old days, and give what your pocket book allows, keeping in mind what the bride and groom might need, and want. And to give what your heart says you should.
Here's the question, should a bride that is sensible, has a nice but not fancy wedding, knowing she would rather have things for a house than a big fancy wedding, be given less than a bride who spends a fortune on the wedding? By the first rule above, the answer is yes. I do not think so. Your relationship to the bride and groom factors in. A relative gets more than a work relationship, your best friend more than a casual acquaintance.
And for the christening, same thing. Close relatives give more than not, the godparents more than anyone, and should give something of a religious nature, in addition to, or have that be the only gift. They are promising to raise a child in the church should something happen to the parents. Gifts are savings bonds, silver and other keepsakes, bibles, crusifixes, other keepsakes, money for the college fund, piggybanks with money. Here, givings from the heart, within the budget, is the standard.
Hope this helps.

Answer 2

Without saying the standard "what you can afford" stuff, it is customary to give a gift that is approximately what your "plate" would cost at the wedding, including drinks & cake. For example, if you're going to a $50,000 wedding, I would not give only $50 each (100). It really depends on how elaborate the wedding is and how close you are to the couple. I always feel that $100 total is not enough and usually give like $125 at least, just to be over that $100 mark. For my close friends I give $200. Really you should cover the cost for you and your husband to attend the event.

Answer 3

I don't think the price of a gift matters. Honestly, I don't think that the newlyweds are going to go home and search everything up on the internet to note prices. I say get something that you think they would need and would use.

I recently went to a wedding of a co-worker that sat next to me at work. We talked a lot and she asked a lot of questions about how marriage is. When gift-shopping came, I looked all over department stores but couldn't find anything that I liked. One day, I was at TJ Maxx with my husband and I found a really nice set of glass cups and purchased them for the couple. It only cost me $10 because it was marked down a couple times. I opened the box up to make sure nothing was broken too.

Cost shouldn't be hanging over someone's head when buying a wedding gift. If you like the gift, and you give it from the heart, that's all that should matter.

Happy gift hunting!

Answer 4

I think it would depend on how close you are to that person but $50 a person seems more than enough to me! Of course if you're a very successful stock broker that may seem cheap to the newlyweds and $100 may be more appropriate. I think it'd also depend on what you expect from the wedding - did they spend tens of thousands of dollars on the wedding? They may expect more from you if they did. Where I come from and with the people I know $50 is more than enough. As for christening from grandparents I think it depends on their financial situation but I was more than happy with both of my monetary gifts from my grandparents. One was $100 and the other was $5... it just really depends on a few different things.

Answer 5

I wouldn't think over $50 for a wedding unless the couple is very close to you. I don't usually give over $20 for a christening.

Of course giving more if you can afford it is not wrong either. When I was married and had more money, I usually gave a little more.

Answer 6

The wedding gift cost should depend on your relationship with the couple getting married. Also I would make sure to buy a gift from their registry. For christenings a gown, jewelry, bible or candles are what is normally given.

Answer 7

i say it depends oun your relationship with the bride and groom and what you can afford. as for as the christening not really sure, but probably about the same as a birthday gift.

Answer 8

I'm sorry, I've never heard of that. I've always heard it was the thought & not the price. From some people we received simply a card wishing love & happiness. :) Take care!

Answer 9

i thought a gift was supposed to come from the heart,i dont agree with all this garbage about what kind of gift you have to give

Answer 10

What you can comfortably afford.