I'm 39, Am I too old to be a Mum?

Question

I'm 39, nearly 40. When I was younger I had alot of social problems & depression which I have now sorted out. I am a generally happy person with a job, a home & friends (something I never thought I'd achieve when I was younger). I am active, well & have alot of energy. People often assume I'm much younger than I am.
I am seriously looking for a partner who would like to have a family with me, but I am worried because of my age. By the time I meet someone & get settled I could be in my early 40's. I never wanted children before because I wasn't sure if I could give them a happy home & look after them properly. Now I have come to the other side of my personal problems I feel confident I could be a good enough parent. I am just worried that I am too old. Or perhaps this is the last of my depresion & lack of confidence holding me back. If anyone has any older parenting stories to share then I would like to hear them. I guess any set backs could keep me in reality too. Thanks

Answer 1

No. Never too old... Come on... I know a woman who had twins in her 50s... Believe u're not. I think it's better now because as u seem to be wise from ur question and caring too. Now, u can give them the home and the life that u'd love ur children to have. Many women in their late thirties and early fourties are just starting to make a family. Don't worry. Now, you're wiser and much mature to give your children the guidance and the love that u have inside....

My cousin had her child at 20, well, she's now 22 and she doesn't feel like she lived, straight from her parents' house to a husband's house and straight to pregnancy. Not that i'm judging her decision (i am..) But think about it, if u had children when you were younger and through everything you've been going through, you wouldn't have enjoyed them being in ur life or them, they wuldn't have enjoyed their childhood.

U're going to be a great mother. Did u find a partner!!! Good luck with that. And what about genycologist, well. that is none of my business.... So, Good Luck with everything.... It's never too late and You're never too old.

Answer 2

I know many women who had babies in their 40s. I believe Geena Davis had twins and she's 49. There are certain risks that come with having a baby at this age, but with the right medical care and support you should be fine.

My main concern would be your emotional state. Having a baby changes everything and although it definitely has its rewards it is also extremely stressful. It's hard enough raising a child with a supportive spouse under the best financial circumstances and perfect mental condition. I have suffered from depression and anxiety all my life and when I had my son it was the hardest thing for me to go through. I loved my baby but looking back I'm not sure how I made it through with my severe depression.

Think things through long and hard. You sound like a wonderful person with a lot of love to share, who has been through a lot and bettered yourself. I am currently divorced and raising my son on my own. A lot of people may disagree with me, but I believe a child should have a mother and father if possible. But you sound intelligent enough to make the right decision for YOU. God bless and best of luck!!!!

Answer 3

I know what you are talking about with your struggles, and thank God for your overcoming the depths of depression.

However, I think you may be worried about trusting yourself to make the right decisions, as you probably have learned that during probs and depression you cannot rely on yourself for making good decisions.

I would take a step back and explore that. Otherwise, I'm damn happy for you, as I'm in the place you were in. I would like the same thing when I get myself healed and happy and love myself. If I'm lucky, I'll be ready for marriage and another baby at your age, and go for it. The more life experience you have, the more you have to offer your child. But be sure to check with your doctor regarding issues like post partum depression, which can knock the wind out from under your newfound wings.

Wish you much luck and many blessings.

Answer 4

It is weird because I just asked a question if I was ready to have children. I think that 39 going on 40 is not too old to have children. I know more and more people are doing it. I think that because people go to school longer and more women are pursuing careers children come later in life. I think in fact that you could be a better parent at it. And if you physically can not have children there is always adoption.
Good luck!

Answer 5

I just had my first child at 36 and was advised that you can have children well into your 40's the difference is you will be considered a higher risk pregnancy, once your 35+ you are considered at more risk of birth defects or to have a down syndrome baby, but keep in mind the male sperm determines the chances of it being down syndrome. As long as you take care of yourself and maintain a healthy lifestyle you should be just be fine. I just hope all your past issues are really resolved because you do not want to bring a child into this world with added issues besides the ones that already have to be dealt with in the world we live in today. Good luck!

Answer 6

well i saw a lady on the news this past summer was in her late 60's and she had healthy twin boys..........the best advice I can give you is to sit down with your ob/gyn and talk to her/him. Explain the situation, and then work togehter to come up with a solution. You know your body best, and your ob/gyn can help. I think you would be perfectly fine to have a child, a lot more women are having children later in life these days, and with all the medical technology out now, i think that anything is possible. Just believe in yourself and the Creator, whoever yours may be, and everythign will work out fine. Good luck and best of wishes and blessings to you and your soon-to-be daughter or son.

Answer 7

Well you are only old if you believe you are. If you want a baby go for it but if you feel as though you have issues with depression then the last thing you need to do is bring a child into a unsecure environment.

Answer 8

hi
your not to old! dont worry-your probably at the perfect
age :) thnk of Christy Brinkley-she didnt have her children
until later. I think its much better to wait, and you are not
alone in this. A lot of women are starting families in
their 40's. You'll make a terrific mum
dont worry :)

Answer 9

no, you are not too old. for other reasons than the ones described here, my aunt had her baby at age 45. She is a wonderful mother. young in spirit and her son is a very happy 13 year old. as far as lack of confidence holding you back, it is a possibility. i wish u all the best, here is to your new life!

Answer 10

No, you are not too old!!! I'm in my late 40's and have raised two boys and I'm thinking about adopting a little girl. My health is not too good for being pregnant anyway, but I'm not going to let that stop me. Remember, there are folks who are grandparents who are raising children. Its never too late.

Go for it!!!