Should I ask my sons babysitter to eliminate his naps?

Question

My son is 4 1/2 years old and goes to an in home daycare...He has been staying up very late.like at least 11:00 sometimes later. Then, when it is time to get him up at 6:30 in the morning, it's nearly impossible! I have already discussed his nap schedule with his babysitter, and she agreed to cut it down to no more than an hour a day, if even that. It got better for a little while, he was going to sleep by 9:00 to 9:30 but in the last few weeks has slowly started creeping back up into the 11:00 hour.When we are home on the weekends he doesn't take a nap at all,and he is just fine without the nap. and he falls asleep easily by 8:30 or 9:00. Should I be firm and ask her to eliminate his naps altogether? I understand that she needs that break during the day and I definitely don't expect her to let him run wild during nap time. I offered to bring him quiet activities from home (like puzzles, books,etc) to do while the others are resting...but she just won't seem to stick to it. Ideas?

To Bethany:
If you read my story you will see that on the weekends he has NO nap, and goes to sleep by 8:30 no problem, so YES it IS the nap that is keeping up late during the week. Also, he follows a strict bedtime routined everynight, he is bathed, had his bedtime snack (a piece of cheese, NO SUGAR), and had his story and is tucked in LIGHTS OFF NO TV by 8:30 every single night. He lays there wide awake, tossing and turning untill nearly mid-night. EXCEPT on the weekends...same bed time routine...and falls asleep within 10 minutes of laying down. Only difference? NO NAP that day. Thanks.

Answer 1

Yes, definitely be firm and tell the daycare provider that he is not to nap anymore. He really doesn't need a nap anymore at 4 1/2 anymore, especially if all its doing is keeping him up late. You are paying her good money to watch your child, she'll get her break when you pick him up! Don't feel guilty about that. You're suggestions of quiet time is extremely reasonable. Good luck!!

Answer 2

Well, I am a home day care provider and I will not keep a child in my care that doesn't nap. I also don't keep children past the age of 3, they need more structure and activities and interaction with more children their own age. Anyway, naps are so important for a child's mental and physical health. Their brains need the rest, it's just as important as food. It may be that he is trying to phase out the nap, he is almost 5, but he still needs down time during the day. However, I can completely see the day care provider's side of this, if she is like me she's working a 10 hour day and nap time is the only time to calm down and regroup. It's the only time of the day when she can clean up the kitchen and get food prepared for later without having to stop and make sure everyone is playing safely. It's the only time of the day she has a quiet moment to herself and doesn't have to teach, play, sing, reprimand, build block towers, tie on a ballet tutu, or change diapers. It may be time to find another situation for your son. If he doesn't fit with the home day care routine any longer, he obviously needs another environment that is more suitable. Good luck and try to remember just how much your day care provider does for your child during the day before you give her a hard time.

Answer 3

I would ask her to start a quiet time. Your son should have a quiet time in which he does activities like look at books, color, or something else that doesn’t make noise. You could ask your nanny to do this every day at a particular time each day. You should try to do the same thing on the weekends too. This will help to establish a routine. You can ask her to only give him naps if he is extremely unruly or cranky.

The only other thing I can suggest is to look at your habits on the weekends. I have taken care of children who do not nap during the weekend, but nap during the week. The parents sometimes have trouble getting them to bed at night. If you are always on the go on the weekends, then your son is probably exhausted by bedtime. Also depending on your work hours, he may be just excited to be with you if you work long hours.

Super Nanny also suggested that when you put your child to bed each night you only speak to them when you put them to bed. If they get up again, speak to them only the second time. If you engage with them it will stimulate them and keep them up longer.

You might also ask you nanny if you can bring your son in his pjs. That way he could sleep longer and he should be able to get himself dressed once he is there. You could also get him some on the go breakfasts to eat on the way there or once he gets there. I do not know if she feed him breakfast or not.

Hope this helps...

Answer 4

A child must have nap time. At least 2 hours a day.They need rest and the child has to stick to a schedule. You should have had a schedule for your son since he was a baby. I have a four year old and she goes to bed at 8:30 no exceptions. You tell your son that bed time is at this time and do not let him get out of bed.!!! But do not eliminate the nap time all kids need it.

Answer 5

Have you asked the child care provider if there is a problem with your request? There is probably a reason that particular arrangement doesn't work for her and her daily schedule.

If he is in childcare with other children, he needs to at least lay down and rest quietly while the others are napping. If he goes to sleep, he needs it. If not, then he should at least be quiet and not disrupt the others for the duration of naptime.

If you absolutely don't want him to nap, you may need to find someone who doesn't care whether he naps or perhaps hire a nanny to keep him in your home.

Answer 6

OK, nap time is not so she can have a break, naps are important for growth and development and 9:00 is too late for a four year old to be up. my 8 yr old "just" got an 8:30 extension. sorry but the child stays up that late because you allow it, not because of an afternoon nap. also how much sugar-type products; snacks, fruit punches,pops, are you allowing? that could cause difficulty in falling to sleep. you know if you put a 4 yr old in bed, be firm, they will fall asleep,no TV.

Answer 7

u should tell her that he is to have no naps because he is doing ok with out them and if that dont work u might have to find a new babysitter i am shure u could find a new place to care for ur child the way u want them cared for most places i worked were willing to follow the parents rules like u say no nap there is no nap they find something there i know from volenteering in daycares last year that most places are like that but it also just depends on the daycare to so u might want to go looking in to new ones if ur current babysitter wont change her ways

Answer 8

Maybe tell her to cut his naps to a shorter period of time. I am not sure if you mentioned how long his naps are. My nephew is the same way. His father lets him sleep for hours during the day and when he does, he is up all night! ( driving my sis crazy! ) Make sure he gets up and goes to sleep around the same time every day. ( even on the wknds) Good luck and hopefully good night! lol

Answer 9

Talk to her again and tell her how important this is. Ask her if this is something that is going to be a problem, (since she hasn't enforced it she's insinuating it's a problem). If she says yes, tell her you'll start looking for another babysitter. If she says no, still let her know that just in case this doesn't work out you'll start looking for a babysitter that will enforce your rules with your child. That way she'll know you're being serious about this.
Good luck!

Answer 10

It's not really her decision on whether or not he should be taking naps. He needs to get used to going without napping during the day because he is going to start kindergarten soon and they don't nap there. I think you should tell her not to let him nap or you will take him somewhere else. I know it doesn't sound nice but it's not like she is doing you a favor. You're paying her.