Related to the spanking question,?

Question

Why would you assume that the hordes of disrespectful undisciplined youths at large are the product of "time-out discipline", and the well-behaved were all spanked. Isn't it more likely that the undisciplined brats that populate our society are the product of a society which has turned the parenting of their children over to daycare and schools. Perhaps if someone had been in the home raising their children instead of pursuing the almighty dollar and giving up on their marriages because they couldn't take the bad times, then there would not be so many brats to begin with. Maybe it is not how you discipline your kids so much as do you do it at all?
I was spanked once as a child. I found the experience humiliating and that is all I recall about it. Don't even remember what I did wrong. I do remember when I was 3 my dad telling that my actions reflected on him & my mom, & I never wanted to let them down or make them look bad. I was never a discpline problem. But it wasn't the spanking

For Linda,
Not only do I remember the conversation in great detail from when I was 3, I have many memories previous to that. Believe it or not, it doesn't matter much to me. I have no reason to lie though and I resent the implication. My word and my integrity are good as gold. My parents taught me when I was about 3 that a person's only as good as their word, & I have not forgotten. As for how I can remember, I'm a genius, literally. I have a near photographic memory, always have.

Answer 1

I do not believe that it is ALL "time-out children" who are ill behaved and I do not believe that it is all of the children who are spanked that are well behaved. I do believe it is a little of both but I also believe the biggest part of it is exactly as you stated, no one at home to raise the children.

I have a strong belief that if you are going to ask God for this little Angel(s) and you take on the responsibility of carrying that child and giving birth to that child that that is NOT the end of your responsibility. You also have a DUTY and a responsbility to RAISE that child.

I was a siingle mom who had to work through a lot of my oldest daughters' life and I regret every minute of it but I have stayed home with my 2 youngest since they were born and my teenager has had me here for the last 4 years. I know both sides of the story and I have lived them both. From personal experience I feel it is a serious breakdown in our beliefs, morals, values and in religion throughout this country. Making more money so that we can live up to and beyond our means is all anyone can think about anymore.

We sacrifice so that I can stay home with our children. We don't have the things that many 2 income families have but we have a mom here full time and my children get to grow up with that sense of security. I don't believe that any person should ever have a child unless they are ready to sacrifice their entire lives for that child, just like Jesus did for us.

Answer 2

I believe that to spank or not depends on the offense. As a child, I was hardly ever spanked, maybe because I obeyed most of the time except for back talking (which was disrespectful).

I believe that you should give your child 1 chance and then if they disrespect and disobey, spank or ground, whatever works best. Never because you are angry but, instead in order to discipline, which means to teach.

A definate spanking is called for if the child runs across the street or plays with an electrical outlet after being told not to, and is old enough to understand.

Children must learn obedience because God tells them to obey their parents for their own good. Obedience to parents, who are following God, helps the child to have a longer healthy and more productive life.

A parent must expect their child to behave. And if they don't they must suffer the consequences of their actions. Just as they will when they become an adult.

A stay at home parent is not always possible. I was at home with my two older children and they were always board. My youngest went to daycare at 2 and was entertained and we spent the time that we were together enjoying each other. They all 3 turned out to be good people.

We did go through times of dicipline though.

Answer 3

I assume that the "hordes of disrespectful youths at large are a product of time out discipline" because it wasn't an issue until parents were persecuted for spanking their kids. I know that had I behaved the way kids today do, I would have had my butt tore up and I would have deserved it. When I was in school, kids did not carry guns and shoot each other, the drug problem was not a fraction of what it is today, and kids actually had respect for their elders. Do you read your Bible? Even God condones spanking. You can't get a much higher approval rating than that. Spanking is not abuse! A few pops on the butt never emotionally traumatized anyone. But, it did teach them not to talk back, to be respectful, and to behave appropriately.

Answer 4

I don't spank my kids at all, it takes a lot of effort, thought and education to teach and guide young people. I always had a problem figuring out how hard was a 'pop on the butt'? If it doesn't hurt at all, it has no effect, right? So, it has to inflict a certain amount of pain, but how much, exactly? Do I have to make the kid cry, and if so for how long?
See, eventually. kids get big, and resentful of spanking (even from 3-4) and you gotta hurt more and more to get the reaction you need. So, when is it too much? When I leave marks? When I can't stop? What do I do when they won't react - keep hitting till they do?
How do I explain that it is wrong to hit someone to make them do what you want, if I do that ? This goes all the way to the top - is it right to hit another country if it won't behave in a way we agree with?

Answer 5

So all the hordes of ravaging young are all Moms fault ,huh ,since she so horribly decided that putting food on the table would be good for the children.


Look it's not spanking or not spanking that creates these kind of problems -its a combination of a lot of things. Little discipline in schools, or at home. No one teaching respect for others much anymore either. Moms and Dads who act like their child can do no wrong when they are obviously acting out. Else why would Nanny 911 be even on TV. We are sending more and more young people to adult jails and believe me where I live there is no village raising the kids. We each do it ourselves!! The big thing is that no one tells kids that something is wrong just plain wrong and they should no do what ever it is. Shame isnt used much either but is a powerful motivator!

Answer 6

There is a time and place for everything. A good swat can gain the attention of an unruly child. But in today's PC world a parent had better do so in the right location and time otherwise you could have plenty of troubles from others. The time out deal is fine but I find it at times annoying when some mother repeatedly "Now Johnny I told you Not to do that" Over and over with the kid going about there own way ignoring the parent. As anyone will agree the children will mirror the parents actions good and bad.

Answer 7

Nice post. Great point about chasing the almighty dollar.

Actually, most people are capable of remembering events back to the age of 2 and it has nothing to do with genius. (I'm not calling you a liar, just saying you're mistaken. Even geniuses make mistakes.)

My mother beat the crap out of me on a daily basis from the age of 5 until the age of 12 when I hit her back and she realized I was bigger than her. Because of this I have always believed that a parent who routinely spanks is a lazy parent.

Ted Bundy's father used to come home and beat the daylights out of his wife and daughters and whoever else he could get his hands on. By the time he was three years old, Bundy was psychologically broken. At age 4 he brought his sisters into his bedroom to show them what he had 'made' - a number of butcher knives he took from the kitchen and stabbed into his pillow. He grew up to become one of the most infamous serial killers in American history.

Answer 8

You know what, you might be right! A little harshly said, but I I agree with you. I believe, that if it is at all possible, one of the parents should stay home with the children to raise them. Too many people are relying on daycare and school to teach thier children the basics such as manners, good behavior, counting, ABC's. etc... all this stuff should be instilled in children BEFORE they get to school.

Notice I actaully read your question... I don't think the other posters read it all the way through, or just didn't comprehend.

Answer 9

I was spanked and have no problem with that. If a parent chooses to use another type of punishment that's OK. I truly believe children need guidance and punishment for wrong behavior is beneficial to the child for life. HOWEVER any punishment should be balanced with love and affection.

Answer 10

When you were 3, THREE!, you specifically remember your dad telling you how your actions reflected on him and you mom. Thats quite the memory for a 3 year old.

I dont believe that, I believe you could remember the spanking, but not that information. I think you need more background on child development before making these assumptions.