I've been dating this girl for a couple months now and I basically want to firm things up. I want to find out if she wants to just be friends or wants to become my gf. We've done the typical dating things (dinner, movies, aquarium) but I've been thinking I want to know what's going on (theres been nothing physically other than hugs and a kiss on a cheek)
This weekend I'm seeing her and might go to an amusement park. I want to be blunt about it, but not so blunt so it freaks her out. Also, this girl happens to be my cousin's wife's sister. So hopefully nothing too embarassing happens, granted I've never met this girl since we started going out.
So do I go the route of saying "it's fun hanging out, blah blah blah, how do you view our relationship?" or do I go more of the "I like you a lot and how do you feel about that" way? I know both are somewhat the same, but I want to tread lightly while getting everything out. I figure i should do this after the park but maybe on a walk?
2007-03-28 09:35:27 · 15 answers · asked by banana_pancakes 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Update: I went out with her last Saturday and I was going to have the talk, but then I noticed that she was acting kind of strange...I find out that she is worried about one of her guy friends because she hadn't heard from him in two days. So she is all worried the whole time, so i just let my objective go. This guy is her best guy friend and I've known about him, but just realized that they've only known each other for about a year. For some reason that changes the whole perspective in my eyes for some reason because I thought they've known each other forever.
So then last night I talk to her to find out that she was up til 7am the night before talking to that guy for a couple hours and then this other one of her friends for like five hours. Seriously who does that? So maybe I should just still do what I was planning on, just to find out for sure. We still talk, but I'm finding I've been trying to talk myself out of her.
2007-04-05 06:03:35 · update #1
Gosh you must be very shy, or really really inexperienced. I say tell her you want more then a friendship, and if she laughs you got an answer, if she kisses you you have an answer, and if she looks horrified and runs away you have an answer...
2007-04-04 23:54:21 · answer #1 · answered by Boston Bluefish 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 months? That's 8 weeks, what's the rush? You're having fun now, and pressuring relationship questions this early may only complicate things. Sounds like you are ready to get physical (hormones talking?). If you are ready to take things to the next level, then you can wait for signals from her. Girls don't like to be pressured, and you have to be ready for the change. Yes, the change; this can be very tough on a guy that is use to having his freedom, and all of a sudden there is a committed relationship, and you are obligated to spend all of your time with her. Make sure you are ready for the CHANGE.
2007-04-05 05:49:52 · answer #2 · answered by fire1962 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont ask her, tell her how you feel. If you think the least bit that she may be interested in you, than you cant pass up the opportunity to tell her. During a nice walk sounds nice. Maybe let her know that you have enjoyed spending time with her, but that you want to take it to the next level. Once you have told her, then ask her how she feels about what you just said.
2007-03-28 09:43:50 · answer #3 · answered by detroit_tat2man 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The main part to all relationships is communication. Do not be afraid of the question. It is better to know now where your relationship is going, then to keep it like this to end up in the "friends" only category after you have more intense feeling's involved. Please do not fear how others will react to you and hers relationship. You and her are in this relationship no one else. The best way to start the talk is to say how you honestly feel. Be yourself. Be honest.
2007-04-04 21:19:00 · answer #4 · answered by silly_crazy_cool 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm the kind of girl who appreciates straight forward and blunt. I don't like having to wonder and guess how a guy feels about me. All of that reading between the lines and reading signals is not for me. Risk it all and tell her how you feel about her and ask her how does she feel about you. Tell her to be completely honest with you. Don't worry you'll be fine.
2007-04-05 08:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by evadiva 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
be straight foreward with her, take her out to dinner sometime to talk. say something along the lines of ive really enjoyed dating you for the past few months and i just would like to know how you feel about us. and give her time to answer or maybe she will just say i dont know or w/e but then tell her how you feel. be honest and open with her but try not to scare her away. if you want to take this to the next level then it is important to be open with her and trust her.
good luck!
2007-04-05 06:43:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Blunt is exactly what you need to do. Just tell her you want to express your feelings.
"I want to let you know how I feel about us. I have feelings for you, and want you to be my girlfriend."
Just telling her how you feel and what you want will be very effective. If she is interested, I'm sure she is, then she will probably give you a little more than that hug at the end of the date your on when you tell her this.
2007-04-04 22:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by Rumin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your second choice would be the best way to approach the situation, as you walk with her you can talk with her. It sounds like you've pretty much got things underway, and as if you're in control. You'll do just fine. Good luck
2007-04-04 18:54:55 · answer #8 · answered by sustasue 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's probably just waiting for you to ask her out. let me tell you one thing if you dont ask her out..you will be in friends category forever!!! someone else will take up the chance, or come on and she'll forget what you guys had. SERIOUSLY, ask her out, she wouldn't be spending that much time with you if she wasn't interested..good luck and let us now..
2007-04-05 08:17:53 · answer #9 · answered by Future Mrs. Hamlet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should be proud to have a woman as such you could look at it this way if you slept with her the first night you were together this makes her look easy ..........on the other side if shes hard to get to the sack you know that she dosent just sllep around thats a grand thing,,,,,,,,,,,hope this helps
2007-04-05 05:36:50 · answer #10 · answered by Corey R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋